divorce: What to do before the restraining order comes (presented by an attorney in 2004)

brknhrtd · 2010-10-07T13:26:40+00:00

wow...I'm sure my husband read something like this and then proceeded to do practically everything the lawyer here said not to. I just wanted to point out for the record that not all women are out to destroy a man. I was urged to get an order of protection and refused it, not because I don't think he won't hurt me, but because something like that would mark him forever, and interfere with his avid affection for guns, most importantly because I want my kids to grow up being able to respect their father and not judge him solely on his lack of control during a very difficult time in our lives.

I like that the article points out that men should be involved in their kid's lives, in my case he walked out the door and it wasn't til months later that he started making time to see them or talk to them. He isn't on a schedule, he can and does come and go as he pleases, but he really isn't involved in their lives and I feel angry that he is given opportunities he doesn't take advantage of.

I don't know about other people, but I've never paid attention to divorce issues up till now that I'm forced to, but as much as I agree that men have been given a raw deal (historically) I have to say that many states have addressed some of those issues and I hope and think that there are more laws serving the interests of the children than the wife.

I think its a shame to generalize all women due to some bad examples, just like I'm sure men wouldn't appreciate being labeled (whatever you guys get labeled with) just because some men are bad examples of what people should be.

I hope what i wrote makes sense I've been running on too little sleep, too much stress, and not enough coffee. My heart goes out to anyone suffering through a breakup right now - I wish you the best, whether you deserve it or not.

tomek77 · 2010-10-06T23:26:15+00:00

Wow! This was a sobering read. Jesus! I have never been so relieved not to be married. I can't even imagine what these poor guys must be going through :(

I think this advice might explain the Tiger Woods incident:

Even if she hits, punches, slaps, scratches, kicks or bites you, do not respond. Just shield yourself with your hands and try to get away [...] or get in the car and drive around the block.

aetheralloy · 2010-10-07T00:21:26+00:00

My father taught me not to hit women. Even if they are punching, kicking, clawing, scratching, and biting - never EVER hit them back. Just shield yourself and walk away.

I always assumed he was talking about treating women with respect, chivalry, doing the right thing, not using your physical strength against women.

After reading that article though, he could just as well have been talking about the court system. I really understand now how so many men are physically abused by their wives. You'd think women would understand the horror of being physically abused by someone who has all the power... but... I guess not when it comes to this situation.

addictedtosugar · 2010-10-06T23:18:15+00:00

Yikes.

addictedtosugar · 2010-10-06T23:18:43+00:00

Yikes.

Title	divorce: What to do before the restraining order comes (presented by an attorney in 2004)
Author	kloo2yoo
Upvotes	13
Comments	6
Date	October 6, 2010 10:29 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/dnsa5/divorce_what_to_do_before_the_restraining_order/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/divorce-what-to-do-before-the-restraining-order.1047038 https://theredarchive.com/post/1047038

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