How Do I Raise a Son in This Environment?

Tedesche · 2018-01-16T23:27:19+00:00

You can’t protect your son from everything. If some girl decides she wants to falsely accuse him of something, she will. Best defense against that is being able to spot crazy before it catches onto you. Maybe teach him what signs to watch for in emotionally unstable women or what tricks girls tend to use to manipulate men? That could help some, I suppose.

But damage can also be done if you freak out over it. Most women aren’t dangerous, but your son may develop unnecessary fears of them if you worry too much about these sorts of things (kids are more perceptive than we tend to think and our perceptions of the world tend to be inherited by them through emulation).

Finally, teach him to use protection and not trust women he barely knows to be truthful about being on the pill. His reproductive future is in his hands and no one else’s.

JStheHammer · 2018-01-16T22:03:41+00:00

https://www.amazon.com/WAR-AGAINST-BOYS-Misguided-Feminism/dp/0684849577

https://www.amazon.com/Men-Strike-Boycotting-Marriage-Fatherhood/dp/1594037620

Zillaplus2 · 2018-01-16T23:33:25+00:00

I've raised a son who is a happy person, a successful businessman. I didn't do it alone. He has a terrific father and stepmother, that definitely helps!

When my son was little, I would pick him up from school, and I loved that drive home, because he would talk to me about particular things that happened during the day, and we would discuss them, I learned his opinions, his problem solving skills, what kind of kids he chose for friends, and his teacher's style and methods. I asked his opinion constantly, and then would ask why he had that opinion, too.

Males and females are generally very different, and we communicate in different ways. I told my son he had to make his intentions known up front when dating. It looks to me like Aziz wanted a date for sex, and his date wanted to explore the possibility of a relationship. In today's world, there are plenty of men and women who are dating to hook up, and plenty of men and women who are dating to settle down. Both parties need to make their objective clear to one another, or it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Now my son uses dating apps, and I suppose when your boy grows up there will be some sort of electronic meet&greet going on, so that's something I hope facilitates straightforwardness.

I actually feel optimistic for your son. There already seems to be less game playing and deception in the dating world than when I was young, and it will probably continue to be more pragmatic.

Remember, we only hear conflict between the sexes in the news, there are millions upon millions of happy encounters between men and women, they just aren't newsworthy.

IronJohnMRA · 2018-01-16T23:55:58+00:00

You don't. You move him outside this environment until it's friendly again.

NewCad · 2018-01-17T01:20:12+00:00

Have you guys seen the movie the Island? there's a few points where the two main characters stand near each other (male and female) and are told to keep distance because they are too close in proximity.

Well that's how I see the world now.

The problem with #Metoo, well, women are essentially fucking themselves. Women complain men are in power and that there aren't enough female executives and a glass ceiling. Why on earth, after all this, will male executives ever promote someone who can get them fired and ruin their careers over a simple accusation with no evidence, because that's where we are now.

Personally, I've always loved diversity and having diverse teams. My sister is psycho intellectual and I love having discussions with her, I loved all my female bosses in the past, most of my male bosses were incompetent, arrogant and set in their ways or lacked empathy when I took sick days etc.

Now, well, women are fucked. because I for one am never ever going to hire and hyperpromote any woman, purely because I'm so shit scared that they could cost me a company just because I had a one on one meeting with them.

The problem with these young millennial feminists, is that they may 'feel' like they are winning a battle, but as for the war, they have changed the gender dynamic landscape forever and absolutely NONE of it will benefit them. They claim there is a patriarchy that doesn't exist while ironically creating one by making these accusations. We live in a world where we are halfway through the story of the boy who cried wolf. Judges, Police, Society, will eventually get very tired of accusations now that women have diminished the severity of 'Rape' to 'He kissed me' and 'Sexual Assault' to 'He wanted a drink' and women will be much worse off for it.

Your son, like many men, will learn the rules of society. From now on, if you want to date someone, use Tinder. Simply asking someone in person can have you slapped with a sexual assault charge. Tinder avoids that, since they have to match you before you can say 'want a drink'. Expect gender communications to be largely electronic. Emails, Texts, anything a man can use as evidence to show he wasn't trying to rape everyone.

qiaokexiansheng · 2018-01-17T02:16:13+00:00

I would focus more on raising a well-rounded child than worrying specifically about how he's going to fare in the "#metoo world." He's 8. Get him involved in activities like sports or martial arts or clubs at school. He'll learn how to socialize, and he'll figure out on his own how to integrate with others.

The most relevant lessons I think you could give him at his age are that he shouldn't let other people make him feel bad about who he is, and that everyone deserves to be treated fairly - male or female, black or white. Nobody should be made to feel bad about their gender or race.

Sexual politics and stuff like that comes later. He'll pick up on any excessive worrying and it might freak him out (like /u/Tedesche said).

grasshopa · 2018-01-16T21:59:41+00:00

Were I raising a son, I would make it very clear that relationships are dangerous ( when it's age appropriate ), and should only be approached cautiously. As uncomfortable as it might be, I would teach him to always be recording any romantic engagement on his smart phone.

Illegal, sure, but I'd rather be punished for that as opposed to the potential sexual assault/rape accusations. Along with this, I'd caution him to never release this data unless it's to exonerate him ( so no sharing among friends ). Further, (when age appropriate) I'd show him the dangers of unsafe sex, and make sure he always has a supply of condoms at his disposal.

In all honesty, however, I expect our current situation is transitory. I don't expect his college experience to be anything like today's men's college experiences. Still, it never hurts to be safe and protect one's self.

applythrottle · 2018-01-17T01:52:58+00:00

I don’t know how controversial this comment will be but here it goes. I’d start him out early crafting his IRL & online personalities and expose him to as much as he’s comfortable to as early on as you can. This will not only help build his tools for how to deal with certain situations but he’ll also be “known” in the sense that people’s positive opinions of him will already be formed early on so he’ll have people willing to defend him if what you’re dreading ends up happening.

circlhat · 2018-01-17T02:18:41+00:00

Most women aren't going to falsely accuse him, he just needs to know time and place, at 8, just let him be himself, and teach him to love and value himself and to treat women how he feels.

As he gets older and start dating just get a app so he can quickly record conversations, I honestly doubt he will ever need it as most women aren't going to lie, but as someone who was falsely accused it came in handy

202700000000 · 2018-01-17T02:37:49+00:00

In the grand scheme of things there's always something going on, the best thing you can do is teach kids to stand up for themselves.

splodgenessabounds · 2018-01-17T12:45:39+00:00

I don't have children of my own, but FWIW:

1) boys are not defective girls, despite what the education system might try to instill in him and his peers. Jordan Peterson issued a useful video on what he thinks a parent should look for in a good school.

2) By your account his father is AWOL or useless; that being the case, do your best to find him a couple of good male role models (given the ways things are it's probably not worth bothering with school teachers) - relatives are best, sound family friends next, someone in your son's line of interest... it's a lottery after that.

3) Read as much as you can: Warren Farrell has published some useful books, most recently The Boy Crisis: Why Our Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It. Be wary of books, blogs and opinion pieces written by any author with strong links to SJW// Feminist movements.

4) From what I've read (and I admit it's limited), good fathers are the best model a child has in learning how the big wide world works - the best dads keep the rules simple but enforce them properly. Doing that is a big ask for a mother, especially a single mother, but it's something that children - boys especially - need.

5) As best you can, bring him up to be proud of himself and his achievements - not as some overblown egotist, but grounded in reality.

It's a big ask, but if you get him most of the way you won't need to worry too much about his ability to handle whatever his life throws at him.

Good luck.

DarkDoesThings · 2018-01-17T15:13:36+00:00

Tell him that, when he is grown, never to leave his drink at the bar unattended or with just some people he had met very recently.

JStheHammer · 2018-01-16T21:48:06+00:00

You have no idea what you are asking....how to raise a son in this feminist shit show of a world?

The world is stacked a against him.

Sasha_ · 2018-01-16T22:09:29+00:00

I recommend simply regularly discussing MRA topics with him at an appropriate age (not when he's little obviously). If he's bright he'll pick it all up for himself. Helps if you have a good group of MRA mates/other fathers to hang out with, as then he can just hear you guys discussing issues like this one and he can pick-it up and evaluate it all for himself.

VapidReaper · 2018-01-16T22:29:31+00:00

You really can't protect the little guy, he will see it eventually. Don't let these problems affect you in a way that stops you from molding him into a man. Have him be around other men and converse about how to navigate in this current climate. Teach him or have someone teach him to protect himself. not be closed off or rejectful of women. Just read somewhere a guy was complained on for not engaging with the women. He kept the conversations professional at all times and shook hands. You have to raise your son to be aware of the traps,pitfalls and how not to get caught in them. What you can do is teach him about women and how women think and operate.

lozinski · 2018-01-16T22:36:59+00:00

What does his dad say?

aussietoads · 2018-01-17T05:48:15+00:00

You could send him to an all boys school. It's not SJW proof, but the probabilities of an SJW making life hell for him are much lower. At least at an all boys school he won't have to witness or endure double standards applied to the different sexes on a daily basis.

Dembara · 2018-01-16T22:09:58+00:00

Tell him to be careful who he associates with and be sure to try and protect himself.

OnTheSlope · 2018-01-17T08:27:20+00:00

When a man can rely on himself then women have nothing at all to attack him with.

Masculinity is the strongest defense for relational aggression.

threefingersplease · 2018-01-17T00:04:24+00:00

You could just raise him to not be an asshole and be respectful to everyone. Be assertive when appropriate and stand up for others. It's not that hard. The harder part is keeping them engaged educationally and civically because the system in place will not focus on those things with young boys, they will push them down to a fault and we need to make sure they rise up. I know too many young men that have no desire for learning or volunteering. We must make sure we help them be mature, develop curiosity, and encourage them to help others.

motorscuz · 2018-01-17T00:59:38+00:00

He's a guy and will be attracted to someone else. Tell him never to be alone with a female, if so, be ready to record audio in case things get weird. Have him practise hitting the record button on his phone. Let him know there are crazy people in this world and he has to be careful. If dating, go in a group. Never go alone, and if alone, be prepared to start recording. If a woman ever hits him, tell your son to be very vocal about the woman hitting him, enough so others can hear him complaining the woman hit him for no reason and then avoid that female because if she hit once, she will hit again.
Record because a few people have been saved by having a recording of the incident Complain loudly in case she turns around and tries to claim he hit her. People will remember him loudly saying she hit him Avoid violent females. Once they hit you, they will hit again and harder. If he defends himself, she can get a bruise and claim it was him assaulting her.

furchfur · 2018-01-16T23:19:15+00:00

I would encourage him to not have relationships with women. It is now too dangerous. I would advise him to move to another country, and not Sweden or the UK.

Calbroo · 2018-01-17T11:10:42+00:00

I’m a feminist and I want equality lel

Title	How Do I Raise a Son in This Environment?
Author	NewCad
Upvotes	56
Comments	44
Date	January 16, 2018 9:38 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/7qvt27/how_do_i_raise_a_son_in_this_environment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-do-i-raise-a-son-in-this-environment.907684 https://theredarchive.com/post/907684

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