How do we live with it all?

TitanicPat · 2022-04-07T08:40:52+00:00

We're bred and taught to be Providers, in fact the social conditioning is so strong that we feel an immense sense of Heresy at the concept of providing for ourselves. I saw a topic, quite similar to yours on r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates. The thought was too rich for their blood and the post was shut down. They simply couldn't examine a topic, even a little detached from "Moral Orthodoxy".

It was the only post on that sub that I have commented on, and it got censored - way to disprove the stereotype guys, but I digress.

The gist of what I wrote, was - We're all correct about the stats and the figures and the examples of the inequalities men face, and nobody gives a shit. There's no rational argument against treating the world accordingly, with that reality in mind.

Sydnaktik · 2022-04-07T07:22:06+00:00

Things have changed a lot in the last 15 years, so maybe what I've learned isn't as applicable anymore.

I would say that my biggest mistake was not taking a little more risks and getting more experience when I was younger.

Basically, if for some reason, you can't make it work romantically when you're young, you want to be in a position to hit the ground running in your prime years. Which probably start around 30-32 years old.

Trust comes from understanding. The better you understand women and the better you understand the person you're with, the easier it is for you to predict what she might or might not do. And that understanding comes from experience with multiple people/women. This experience doesn't need to be romantic or sexual. But eventually, you meet women that you know for certain wouldn't put a restraining order on you under any circumstances, and then you can tell the difference with one that you just don't know if she would do so just because she's upset with you. And some you'll know for a fact she would do something like that.

Another great way to gain experience and knowledge is to make friends with a couples that have a relatively healthy relationship. You learn a ton that way, and finding couples that work well help you gain practical knowledge of how it can be done and how it might work for you.

I find that for me, a thorough understanding of the ideological landscape helps me maintain confidence that I won't get taken advantage of. When you know exactly the details of the twisted logic used to vilify men, you can recognize it right away when you see it. So you can confidently filter out romantic prospects that shows signs of believing in misandrist ideology and also know long before it gets dangerous if your partner seems to be headed down that road.

So another way to put it, it's about stacking the deck in your favor. Acquire experience interacting with women on a more personal level so you can become a better judge of character. Have a solid understanding of the ideological landscape so you can help keep your partner off the misandrist track. And in the very unlikely events that things still turn out wrong, be prepared with mitigation strategies and accept that life comes with risks no matter what you do.

If your goal is to have one night stands and the like. I don't have much experience there, but I'd say, being a really good judge of character is even more important. But also "charisma" becomes very important too, whatever that is. I that much of how charisma works but I have some ideas. People tend to be a lot more forgiving of bad behavior from people with high charisma and will tend practically invent bad things about people with low charisma. Physical attractiveness is obviously and important component, but also social and emotional awareness factor into it a lot. Knowing when to apologize and when to hold your ground so that people subconsciously know that they can't push you over without risking serious reprisals.

And one more thing, this applies to all situations. Pay attention to your reputation. Honestly, I don't know what you can do to keep it good. But I feel like just by paying attention to it, the people around you recognize that you do and respect you and your reputation more for it. If you have a good reputation you will be a lot safer of false accusations and the like.

And another thing, and at this point, I'm just ranting like an old guy. But I think it's important. Try and learn the difference between people who genuinely appreciate what you do for them and the people who are just taking advantage of you. It makes a world of difference, because if you leave a good impression on people everywhere you go, attacks on your reputation will be nearly impossible. But if you let people take advantage of you all the time, then your reputation will go down the drain and you'll be vulnerable to all sorts of problems. But the difference between doing something to leave a good impression and being taken advantage of comes down to the attitude of the person you're interacting with.

Ok, one final, final note. At the end of the day, what I'm talking about here is power. If you read men's rights content a lot you'll be informed of all sorts of ways in which men are vulnerable and at risk and how society is at best doing nothing to help or at worst contributing to the problem. But these are men's rights forums, not self help forums, so they're currently clumsily trying to figure out how to fix this from a social perspective. Which is much too slow and much too little to help you in your life right now. I think you already can tell that spending a lot of time in these forums will sort of cause you to instinctively overestimate the risks and dangers these things will be to you personally. And all the things I've said in response are ways for you to reasonably ethically have more power in your own life so that if something bad does happen you'll be able to take the blow more easily.

I used to believe that the very idea of trying to acquire personal power was evil. I now realize that having a fair amount of personal power is essential to life. And that's why I want to be explicit about it here. There are relatively ethical ways to acquire and maintain power. And the fact that some prominent men (e.g. Putin) are greedy for power and use truly evil means to acquire and maintain it, should not in any way make men feel any less entitled to acquire and maintain reasonable levels of power for themselves.

hmspain · 2022-04-07T07:01:29+00:00

The only winning move....

I miss the r/mgtow subreddit. Elon should have bought 10% of reddit.

Alarming_Draw · 2022-04-07T20:18:50+00:00

"We are a land without morals, a backbone or even the most basic grasp of reality because we don’t like it."

Yep. This. This is what feminism does. This is what treating every man like the devil creates. It creates a situation where Men end up being forced to start acting like its "every man for himself". I feel similar. But I hate it. But what choice do we have? It seems like we've lost. We dont stand a chance now in this toxic feminised society. Men are disposable. Men are destroyed. Men are seen as rapists. Society rules are created by the crazed wishes of a handful of paranoid mentally ill man hating women with far too much power.

I've been warning things would get as bad as they have for maybe a decade now. But people just laughed, made jokes, etc. So I similarly feel that the only option I have is just to focus on my own life and what I want-to be much more selfish than I want to be. Because men have SO little, get SO little help, get NOTHING for free, face SO many uphill struggles while women get EVERYTHING.

shit-zen-giggles · 2022-04-07T09:31:47+00:00

Work on developing healthy coping mechanisms instead purely relying on escapism.

If you want to pursue a career you need those anyways to deal with the stress. Things I‘d suggest:

physical exercise, ideally a combo of individual and group activities here
mental / emotional self care Regiment. You need to be proactive in handling your state of mind. Listen to podcasts, read books and watch yt videos on the subject of ‚mental self care‘
actively sustain offline friendships, ideals not just ones based upon a shared hobby , but joint appreciation and reciprocation. Again, proactively sustain those. Still lots of guys will disappear into family live, once the babies come. Mentally prepare for that as well.
Manage your media consumption regarding MRM and related topics. ESP find other things you‘re interested in and actively Perdue those

OldEgalitarianMRA · 2022-04-07T19:48:16+00:00

Yes, take a few months of reading here. The world is not like Reddit. The world makes sense, not everyone is crazy radical feminist or are triggered by them. I took a year off once and it did me a lot of good.

SunosUnix · 2022-04-07T13:29:14+00:00

Let me sum up how i do it.... I don't play the game. I don't date females anymore, and im demisexual anyway.

I don't simp. I need to know someone for YEARS before i have any real attraction to them, and you know a female who is just looking for alimony, a car and a house, won't last that long. They will move on to some other poor sap. I've seen it happen and dodged it myself.

And you know where this has lead me? I'll be going to the Smokey Mountains in May to meet my boyfriend who I've known years, in person for the first time.

The US is so indoctrinated that one should marry by the time they are in their late 20s, and have kids by the early 30s, but you really don't want to do so. Its exactly this "kids by 30" idea that pushes men into not getting to actually know people before they even date them, let alone marry.

What happens in the end when you get married to someone who decides they hate you? What happens if they were just hiding the fact that they were only after your assets? Well, it's too late at that point, sadly. They will get a minimum of half of them in the divorce, and they know it. Common law marriage states. States where all pre marital property becomes shared in the marriage and thus divided in the divorce. These aren't there to benefit anyone but the wife.

I just don't play by the religious indoctrination rulebook, and anyone would be smart not to as well

nevermock · 2022-04-07T19:57:52+00:00

Learn to find joy on oppression.

Medforus · 2022-04-07T22:24:47+00:00

You ignore it by taking a break from this forum every other hour.

wrinkle-brain · 2022-04-08T02:03:54+00:00

What helped me cope is that men have all of the power of romantic relationships

ribps · 2022-04-08T05:36:14+00:00

Easy way? Go to church. A man with a god is as happy as a dog with a bone. If you make that cost-benefit analysis, faith is extremely efficient.

Title	How do we live with it all?
Author	shinbet
Upvotes	25
Comments	12
Date	April 7, 2022 5:58 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ty6ct2/how_do_we_live_with_it_all/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-do-we-live-with-it-all.1110945 https://theredarchive.com/post/1110945

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