Not really posting for any reason, maybe just to reflect and hear what people have to say about it.

I had a girlfriend who was OBSESSED with me. I never really did love her, but she has ALWAYS loved me and always WILL! I'd try to break up with her SEVERAL times, but she was manipulating... I am a very empathetic person and I always thought that I owed it to her to stay with her so that she wouldn't hurt (yes I was weak as hell and she played on that PERFECTLY).

I wasn't attracted to her... often we'd be lying there and she would want sex, I would be totally turned off. She would literally force me to turn over and even if I wrestled her off eventually she would just grab my penis and stick it inside of her.

That's all fine and dandy. But one day I DID gather strength. I stuck to my guns too for the most part. I had weak times, where I'd CRAVE physical affection. I'd go back to her, but she always said she knew it was over.

This went on for a while. Finally I started dating and this made her go MENTAL. One day she showed up at my house. My roommate let her in (he had no idea about anything). She was pounding on my bedroom door. I opened it and she came in. She was wearing nothing but a trench coat with just underwear on.

I kept saying no, wtf are you doing here? She knows I am a sucker for her body (it is hot) and i also (for whatever reason) can't say no to her. I was saying no. I told her to piss off, it's over, why the fuck is she here.

She pushed me down onto the bed and the usual rape occurred. I mean, I didn't think it was rape at all. I physically let her do it. She is way tinier than me, I could EASILY over power her. She was very physically attractive but her personality just turned me off SOOO much.

This happened several times. The ironic thing is that the LAST time if happened I was done... I locked my bedroom (new lock) I got new friends I hadn't seen her in like a month. I really kicked the habbit...

THEN??? The worst thing imaginable happened... I get a call... and she's PREGNANT!!! I remember getting the call... I would have rather been told I had cancer to be honest.

Anyways... 2 years later and I now have a kid and pay child support lol.

Reading this it probably sounds like I'm some dumb hill billy, pussy assed, low brow, loser... But I'm not. I'm very intelligent (have 2 degrees) make a great salary (Software Engineer), have a lot of friends in high places (doctors, lawyers, bankers, etc) come from a great family, good looking, I am actually a really big dude that works out regularily haha i'm not some skiny guy that got forcefully raped.

I guess I was just too soft... too much of a push over. I put her needs before my own and NOW I am paying the price. I guess I laugh about it because... well I was trained to laugh at it, I'm a man!

TL;DR A baby was made from me being raped. I pay child support.