I feel trapped.

KRosen333 · 2013-06-01T02:26:51+00:00

Start recording her verbal abuse; once you have proof, contact a divorce lawyer. Make sure you get a good one. And I'm sorry man. My folks lasted 18 years before it happened, I know all too well what kind of hell it is, at least from the child's perspective. I remember looking at my barney lamp (yep, I liked barney, sue me) while my big sister held me while my parents were screaming at each other.

AnnArchist · 2013-06-01T05:11:52+00:00

record the verbal abuse, start hoarding cash off-site (at parents if possible), take an inventory and get a lawyer

Cthulusbaby · 2013-06-01T06:24:27+00:00

Even though it might result in a fight, you MUST calmly communicate with her in private about your grievances. If she yells at you, tell her that this needs to be talked about and you'll revisit the conversation when she's willing to discuss like an adult.

Bohica69 · 2013-06-01T12:23:25+00:00

Secret cameras in main living areas of home which record to cloud. Install them.

johnmarkley · 2013-06-01T06:13:12+00:00

Be sure to look up your jurisdiction's laws on recording without the other party's knowledge; they vary from place to place, and you need to make sure you don't end up giving her a legal weapon to use against you.

JoshtheAspie · 2013-06-01T06:16:05+00:00

Can you tell us more about the kind of verbal abuse?

Assuming you could be assured that either would work (which you can't be), which would you find more ideal? Leaving her and getting primary custody of your kids? Or getting her to reign in her bad behavior?

Also, if your own parents or siblings are anywhere nearby, and are suitable, you might consider talking with them about the situation, and asking them to take your children for weekend trips, and possibly vacations here or there. You might be able to use this to get your children out of the house and away from the abuse. It might help their mental state to be in a loving, non-abusive environment more often.

It might also help to establish them as occasional care givers. If something happens where both you and your wife are unavailable, due to these ongoing... issues... it might be possible to arrange for your parents to take them, rather than them being taken by "child protective services".

If your own parents aren't available for this, a less pleasant option, but one still worth considering, would be her parents or siblings.

Relatives looking after kids for extended period, rather than the state has happened before. It also reduces trauma for the children, and the chances of the children being unreasonably drugged.

dalsgaard · 2013-06-01T12:40:36+00:00

You don't have to put up with this. No one should have to put up with being abused, and for your own and your kids sake you have to do something about it. You're a wonderful human being, and you don't deserve to be shit allover. Take control of your own life, and your kids life. Do what you have to do. You can do this shit. You're not powerless. You're powerful.

rightsbot · 2013-06-01T02:16:16+00:00

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Crimson_D82 · 2013-06-01T10:50:21+00:00

Find out which countries don't have extradition laws and when the time is right take the kids and run. You may have to save for a little while but once you get someplace you can apply for citizenship.

gKnV7W3CPBVdAE · 2013-06-01T12:14:54+00:00

What is she "verbally abusive" about? Do you think she might have untreated mental illness, is her life a bad situation? Have some sympathy, people don't "abuse" for no reason.

That being said, assuming she's a lost cause - You might get screwed either way, so go for the divorce. First secretly lawyer-up and plan everything out before doing anything. Things might turn out better than you expect.

Nomenimion · 2013-06-01T05:40:39+00:00

Why can't you leave? That's just an excuse. If she really is such a cunt then get out, and take the kids with you if you can.

Title	I feel trapped.
Author	gKnV7W3CPBVdAE
Upvotes	37
Comments	53
Date	June 1, 2013 2:15 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1ffyn7/i_feel_trapped/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-feel-trapped.1172366 https://theredarchive.com/post/1172366

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