I need help/advice

Juan_Golt · 2015-06-16T20:32:54+00:00

Advice: Get parenting time now. Don't wait until things are perfect. If there are large obstacles that prevent you from living near your kid, your life's work is to now overcome them in the shortest possible time. Make it clear that relinquishing your rights isn't on the table.

Encouragement: Getting a shared parenting situation worked out, while also sorting out all the vagaries of early adulthood; is a difficult task. It is one of those things that always seems impossible until you look back and realize you've already done it.

thekarateguy · 2015-06-16T18:51:23+00:00

OP, if you wanna be a part of your kid's life, then you go ahead and do it. Stay in school and make sure you pick a career that's going to pay you enough to live on (so you can avoid jail if you fall behind on your CP payments).

Blutarg · 2015-06-16T20:00:35+00:00

You are doing the right thing. Once you are done with school youlk be able to move closer to your son and help give him an even better future. Keep going and don't give up, and for goodness sake don't sign away your parental rights. That's a ridiculous request by her, and very selfish if you ask me.

anonoben · 2015-06-16T20:15:19+00:00

What is her argument as to why you should give up your parenting rights?

FluffyMelvin · 2015-06-17T01:15:11+00:00

Break your back to keep your studies up and see you kid. Do anything you can to pass your exams and be there for these early years of his life. What this kid needs is somebody who shows how much he wants to be his father, not a man who says how much he wants to be his father. It's not going to be easy but when he's in his 20s and 30s you'll look back and say it was all worth it.

Source: I'm an 18 year old unplanned pregnancy with a father that sent one birthday card to me in my whole life. I don't want to know him, make sure your kid wants to know you :) I wish you the best of luck with your kid and your degree.

Shubrook · 2015-06-16T18:43:48+00:00

You cannot surrender your legal responsibilities as a parent, so I would be really, really careful about surrendering any rights.

It sounds like you didn't really have a say in her keeping the baby or not. If you didn't want to be a father, I don't think you should consider yourself one.

The baby mother sounds like a dependopotamus. She may have every intention of releasing you from your responsibilities now, but in a few years, when she ends up in the social safety net, uncle Sam is going to come after you.

Be damned sure that she will not come after you for child support in the future, if you walk away.

Man-jusri · 2015-06-16T19:01:36+00:00

If you're in the US, if you execute a termination of parental rights you'll be off the hook for child support. If you're not going to be in your son's life anyway (or will have a very minimal role), I say do it if the courts will let you. Typically, you can terminate your parental rights (and responsibilities) if someone will be adopting in your place. So, termination may be in the best interest of both yourself and your son. You're off the hook for child support, and your son has a father who is around and legally responsible for his well being. My guess is that your ex is looking to marry her current boyfriend and wants him to assume the father role for both of her children, but your post doesn't give much indication of what the boyfriend's feelings are about all this. His willingness to adopt may be crucial to the courts decision. Of course, all this varies by state law - assuming you're in the US. And, obviously, there are emotional issues to consider as well.

Title	I need help/advice
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	14
Comments	12
Date	June 16, 2015 4:57 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/3a22hi/i_need_helpadvice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-need-helpadvice.977485 https://theredarchive.com/post/977485

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