Is it Mentoring, or Enabling?

Gareth321 · 2012-04-11T22:31:51+00:00

Thanks, Demonspawn. Quite an interesting read.

ruffian45 · 2012-04-11T22:00:00+00:00

Towards the end of the interview, I took the first step in my experiment and informed the two ladies interviewing me that I did not wish to volunteer as a big brother for a little who has a Father here in the metro area who is being forcefully kept away from his son. I explained that I felt like it was not my place to take a boy to the park, or to the basketball court if the child had a father here in town who was willing to do the same thing, but was not allowed to because some Judge claims it is not in the childs best interest. The two ladies definately made a note of my “condition of volunteering”. I also noticed they each gave a slight rise of the eyebrows and a small nod as if to say, “we really cannot argue with what you are saying.” The interview ended and they informed me that they would be doing a background check and contacting my references.

The conclusion of my experiment was truly sobering. Even myself, knowing what I know, did not think things were that bad. Truthfully, I would have bet money that there was at least one boy on the waiting list for a Big Brother whose father abandoned the family and ran off with a trophy wife to a far away state, or was truly absent from his son’s life by choice instead of by force. I have to wonder if this whole experience made the BB/BS staff stop and think just a little about what their organization is really doing. Of course, matching up adult mentors with children in need is noble work, but before they try to find a mentor, it goes without saying that they should first be contacting the father. In fact, if it were not for our divorce culture and grossly corrupt “family” courts, BB/BS could not even exist. Everytime the staff at BB/BS puts together this kind of match, they are only reinforcing to the Single Mothers that their selfish disposal of the father was OK. Currently, BB/BS has advertisements on a significant number of billboards in my Metro Area. Lord only knows how much all of that advertising costs and where the money is coming from, but every time an individual unfamiliar with the divorce courts views a BB/BS billboard, it reinforces the myth that fathers are abandoning their children and that mentors are needed to fill the gap.

Grapeban · 2012-04-11T22:15:45+00:00

I would suggest that perhaps they didn't take this guy on because they didn't want someone who was trying to make a political statement via this organisation. Those kinds of people, no matter the political statement, tend to be a bit of a no-no for groups like this.

TheBauhausCure · 2012-04-11T22:52:35+00:00

A friend of mine that participates in the big brother/sister program explained to me that their requirements are really strict, and that anything said in the interview could be seen as bad. A mother hearing that the "big" in question didn't want to keep the little away from the father might fear that, in an act of political righteousness, he might take said child to go see the father. While that father might be a kind hearted person who divorced a bitch, he could also be an emotionally and/or physically abusive person. It is their job to make sure the child does not come into any danger.

2012-04-12T03:28:05+00:00

If you choose to do this again, how about you just be a mentor.

Title	Is it Mentoring, or Enabling?
Author	Demonspawn
Upvotes	5
Comments	6
Date	April 11, 2012 9:10 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/s4zwb/is_it_mentoring_or_enabling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/is-it-mentoring-or-enabling.1024197 https://theredarchive.com/post/1024197

Comments