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[–]Daemonicus 14 points15 points16 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[+]PrtsUnknown points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Alright, thanks. I'll start looking into this.
I found paperwork from about 10 years ago for Iowa that a couple (unmarried) can fill out with their own child custody agreement. This seemed to be legally binding(as far as I'm aware) and I can't find any info on if this paperwork is still used for the state.
My thought was to have that filled out and have a lawyer on backup if anything goes sour. Would that be a good idea? I don't know how I could get the money for one honestly.
[–]Daemonicus 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PrtsUnknown2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]the-capitan -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Vandechoz 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Daemonicus 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]user1492 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[+]PrtsUnknown points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks. This helps a great deal.
We are not. I have made sure of this over the years. We only meet 1/3 of the requirements in the state of Iowa.
What I am looking into right now is finding a lawyer and do what I can(your suggestion seems to be the route I will probably take) and have a lawyer look over it and give any advice possible. I may be able to afford a lawyer in small increments, but going into court will be impossible(I have been working on my financial awareness pretty hard lately).
We both would like to keep lawyers and court out of this as much as possible, but I understand the need for one in a situation that could go south. I want to make sure I/we are doing everything possible to keep whatever we do legal so she (or I, I guess) cannot go to court later. Or at least make it very difficult. I don't really know how all that works, so it may be easy for her no matter what we do.
Thanks again. I have already reached out for a few consultations.
[–]user1492 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bufedad -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PrtsUnknown2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]logician9000 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[+]Kronik_NinjaLo points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for the support.
I was afraid to even post this just because I know my current situation is pretty dang nice(at least for now) compared to allot of others. But it's still extremely stressful in other areas. Like living alone. I have never done this, sadly. I barely know where to start.
[–]JlmmyButler 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[+]PrtsUnknown points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Woops! Posted that on the wrong account. No biggie. I just don't want it on my history for now.
Thank you! I tend to lurk all over reddit and don't really post much. I'm a little surprised that anyone would recognize my user name. A little flattering :)
[–]HuntTheHunter12 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PrtsUnknown 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AnarAchronist 0 points1 point2 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[+]PrtsUnknown points [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link
I totally understand. It's been something that I have been struggling with for nearly 2 years. There is more than just "I don't feel it anymore" and we have gone to counseling. We have vastly different views on what our relationship should and shouldn't be. It has started to get to the point that our daughter will be effected if we stay together and if we do, we will probably end up hating each other. That would definitely not go in my favor. I feel that we both think it would be better for her to have two separate happy homes rather than one unhappy home.
I am expecting, and hoping, that we will act as adults when this is over and work together. We have solved many problems together before and I don't see a reason to stop if we separate. I just hope she looks at it that way as well. I'm just trying to plan for the worst, hope for the best.
Thank you for the advice and I greatly appreciate the concern.
[–]AnarAchronist 0 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[+]PrtsUnknown points [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
Why not, I guess. I mention what is off the top of my head.
I feel like there is someone else out there that fits her better than I can. Make her happier with what she wants and I realize that I'm not really a relationship person. I have been going to counseling for my own issues and we both have gone to try and fix the relationship. Both of these has helped show that we're not very compatible. We got together pretty young with little relationship experience, so neither of us really knew what we wanted or what we wanted for the future but that all came together over time and seemed to clash pretty hard. I don't want to sound like I'm blaming anyone(if I am), but this is all my own doing, our doing.
[–]AnarAchronist 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PrtsUnknown 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AnarAchronist 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[+]PrtsUnknown points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Actually the opposite. I remember very little about my parents being together, but what I do remember was all very negative. Hers divorced around when she was 8 or 9 and she remembers much more. Very abusive towards each other, verbally and physically.
[–]AnarAchronist 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PrtsUnknown1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]cld8 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[+]PrtsUnknown points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
This is what I was wondering. I found some paperwork that we can fill out and turn into the state with our agreement on custody that covers everything. The only problem with that is that it's 10+ years old and I could not find any indication that the paperwork is still valid and used, anything new, or anything at all.
[–]cld8 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PrtsUnknown1 point [recovered] | Copy Link