Make this Make Sense

SidewaysGiraffe · 2025-07-14T16:37:16+00:00

Yes- it's actually quite simple: your wife is feeling frustrated and expressing it by acting like a petulant child.

Luckily, the solution, in this case, is easy- she wants you to strip and repaint the banister AND spend time with her? "Great! Put on a pair of gloves and hand me that stripping liquid, sweetie.".

Same_Sentence_3470 · 2025-07-14T18:28:47+00:00

And people wonder why I don’t have any interest in dating...

EarthParticipant · 2025-07-14T22:21:57+00:00

Maybe she should help out.

It's not fair we have to do everything.

TheNickers36 · 2025-07-14T16:36:18+00:00

I don't believe it will make sense, ever. It's like getting your cake and wanting to eat it too.

I wanna say that 'play pouting' is one of my biggest relationship pet peeves, and like this situation usually gets misread, then feelings are hurt.

manicmonkeys · 2025-07-14T17:13:43+00:00

I've generally resolved this kind of issue by discussing when/how she thinks the project in question should be prioritized.

Sometimes my wife doesn't realize how many other projects are in the queue, and/or how many of those other projects are higher priority; other times she suggests doing the project in an unrealistic window of time, and i need to explain that the thing she thought would take an hour or two will probably be a full-day project.

The point being, nail down specifics so you can figure out where you aren't aligned.

SlyPogona · 2025-07-15T01:05:06+00:00

Women logic, we can make it make sense but they will find a way to fuck it up too.

peter_venture · 2025-07-15T00:33:42+00:00

Wait .. Your wife decides some manual labor needs to be done around the house, and then whines and pouts until you do it? This sounds more like a master/ slave dynamic, but I guess if it works for you, okay.

Maybe you can decide together what needs to be done, which of you is better at doing it, then schedule a timeframe that works for both of you. You know,, both of you being realistic. But you know what works best in your relationship. Good luck!

Unusual-Tree-7786 · 2025-07-15T16:30:04+00:00

There is no way on this earth to make that make sense. It doesn't make sense. She can either have you around to spend time with or she can have you doing what she asked you to do. She needs to stop flip flopping over what she wants. Maybe she should stop talking until she can articulate what it is that she really wants. Also, wanting you to strip and repaint the banister while you are spending time with here is not an option because it is not possible. UNLESS she is helping you to strip and repaint the banister. (which is what I would be doing, unless pregnant).
Good luck with this one dude. Remember you asked (her to marry you) and she said yes.

Heterodox_Filmmaker · 2025-07-15T18:01:39+00:00

I legit thought she wanted you to do it naked 😂

Redsands · 2025-07-20T09:56:35+00:00

Log everything you do. Put a large cost to it. She is going to divorce rape you!

HauntedJuice · 2025-07-14T16:08:45+00:00

I think this belongs in a relationship sub.

Humble-Xora · 2025-07-15T02:34:42+00:00

It is your fault that you married. Smart men don't marry.

ms4720 · 2025-07-16T08:19:58+00:00

Something else is bothering her about you and this was an opportunity to take out her pent up frustrations and anger on you.

CucumberEfficient403 · 2025-07-15T06:02:20+00:00

Damn, I wish my ex would have actually gotten to any of the projects he promised to do. Before I get any shit from anyone, I was working full-time, he kept quitting jobs and often had time, I did 99% of the household cleaning, all of the shopping (before you could order online), the kids went to daycare even when he wasn't working, 90% of the child rearing, 95% of the yard maintenance because I would get tired of waiting for him to do it. It was just one thing in a long list of reasons why we got divorced. I've done all of the projects plus many more since then, including stripping my banister. That's a bitch of a job.

I agree. She's acting like a jerk. If she wants to spend time with you, she should grab some gloves and help you out unless there's a good reason why she can't. If she's pregnant, it's probably not a good idea between the dust, chemicals, and paint residue. If you have littles who need to be supervised all the time, obviously, that's a priority over helping.

I get your frustration. Being "playful" sounds more like an excuse for being passive-aggressive and you should call that out. Tell her how it made you feel. Expect her to get defensive. That's a natural response to being called out, but give her a little time and space to think about it. If she's an adult, she'll realize that she was being an asshole and admit to being an asshole. Give yourself a little time to think about how you handled yourself, too. I'm sure you got defensive (natural response when feeling attacked), and maybe you overreacted a little. If you did, own it and apologize for your reaction even if she doesn't apologize, too. "I felt attacked for doing something we agreed needed to be done. I got defensive and said things that hurt you. You don't deserve that. I am sorry that I hurt you or made you feel scared." Hopefully, after a little bit of time to reflect on how she handled this and how it made you feel, she will realize that she was being a bit of a bitch and will apologize. If she doesn't, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe run. 😂

naaawww · 2025-07-14T22:09:23+00:00

You want us to take your side because you posted it on here… but I think the answer here is to share the workload. And do away with the recurrent demands that won’t let up if there is no peaceful answer. It’s gonna infinitely build up if neither of you let go. So be aware when both your behaviours are verging into bullying territory, and politely but firmly as them to stop.

mashiweirk · 2025-07-14T23:24:51+00:00

You turned her on, but took you 72 hrs to notice… get’r done… then back to the project man. lol

Accomplished_Dirt722 · 2025-07-15T00:43:06+00:00

You should look after your child. And stop being a child yourself.

scorbunny3 · 2025-07-15T01:19:30+00:00

The answer is super simple: she was very clearly joking about wanting to spend time with you and you took it seriously for some reason

Title	Make this Make Sense
Author	Toben-
Upvotes	105
Comments	31
Date	July 14, 2025 3:40 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1lzprhb/make_this_make_sense/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/make-this-make-sense.1557118 https://theredarchive.com/post/1557118

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