R/AITA wont allow my story but it may fit here. If so please tell me am I the asshole?

I claimed that the LGBT movement does in fact groom children. And that progressives pick and choose which sexual assult to give a damn about.

Here is my story. I'm a 34 yr old Philipino, Hispanic, French, and Finnish man in the United States. About 25 years ago my babysitter took my virginity. We will call this person N. I'm not signifanctly injured or anything, but I do know I have some emotional baggage from being effectively raped at about 10 years old. She was about 13 at the time. I have been preyed on by her a few times through the years. Again at about 16 and again at about 25. She has this gross grip on me, that when she wants me she knows how to get me in bed. It's strange and very troubling like I'm her quilty little candy she eats In secret when she wants. Every time she finds out I have a new girlfriend she insists on meeting her and telling her the story of how I lost my virginity.

Here's where I may be the asshole. I had a girlfriend let's call her K. K got the awkward story from N. K spent the rest of the evening yelling at me for letting N talk to her? Wondering if I'm still sleeping with N. She told me I needed to report N. Well, I called K a controlling bitch. And told her to leave it in the past. She asked me if I'm OK with being raped? I asked her quite angrily I AM OK ARENT I ?!?! she looked at me and said maybe not. I made her leave and we broke up soon after.

And here's the other part of my story. In high school we had a club called the gay straight alliance. I was raised by filipino dad and finnish mother that hate is learned. And love is natural. With these good lessons in my repitior, I figured I would enjoy the GSA and have lots of friends. I noticed however that as white presenting cisgendered straight male, I wasn't ever really part of the conversation. Every time I told my story of losing my virginity to my friends in the GSA. I was told to be proud of it. What a stud I am. And they never even wanted to know who she was. Soooooo I thought about and said "I could kiss guys" to myself. So I tried it. I made a point of explaining to my friends that I am bisexual. I was so proud of my coming out. And I got all kinds of validation and a lot of positive attention for it. Way more than I ever got as a.stright wite male. I continued this mascarde presenting myself as bi just to be included. Until one day I was on a date with a girl, and we stopped by a mutual friends house. He kissed me on the lips. I Stanly rembering my training I asked for another one right in front of the girl I was on a date with. It was awkward after that because he didn't know I was on a date with this girl. Let's call her R. After we got back in my car I looked at her and said ...... yeah I'm not bi.

So that's my story. Am I the asshole?