So, I have a new job and - of course - signed up for health insurance. I have a son. Under Arizona state law I have joint parenting time (50%) and joint legal decision making (50%), making no one parent more responsible for the welfare of the child than the other.

I get this email this morning.

Zadoc, Your Aetna application including your dependent child does not indicate that the child lives at another address.

I pulled the application since I have t confirm to the DCSE - MSE Unit the health care enrollment.

Can you please see Carol and correct this page of the application so our records are correct

Also, the address for you on this application does not match our records, I asked Chuck to have you update with Carol.

Thank you Office Manager

So I simply replied with this.

Hi Office Manager,

My child lives at my address.

Thanks, Zadoc

To which I get back...

Then why do I have the form from the DCSE asking me to mail information to the custodial parent?

Have you updated information with them?

thanks Office Manager

Seriously? The fuck do I know what paper you have in front of you? I couldn't give two shits less. But this is getting ridiculous.

Hi Office Manager,

Yes, they have my correct information.

First, I can tell you that neither "custodial" nor "custodial parent" are not a legal terms recognized under Arizona family law and have not been for some time. The two distinctions are "parenting time," the percentage of time a child spends with a parent, and "legal decision-making," the parent who makes the legal decision for the child, as stated in A.R.S. 25-401. I can only speculate why the DCSE is using that term. My guess would be that I am the current obligor in the child support case.

My address is the correct address of record for my child's health insurance. Do not change that record.

I do understand that you are required to send the obligee certain information.

This is her address of record:

Derp c/o Derp Derp

Thanks, Zadoc

Zadoc, I am NOT a lawyer.

All I do is comply with legal documents that my law I have to respond to by law.

The paperwork from DCSE - MSE unit - uses the term "custodial parent" and "non-custodial parent" - so you can write a letter to them regarding the legality of using this term - not me.

I will include a copy of this email with my response to the state

Office Manager

Really, you're not an attorney? What a shock. No wonder you don't know what the fuck it is that you're talking about.

Hi Office Manager,

I am not an attorney either! :)

That's why I hire a super good one. His name is Galactic McAwesomeville and his phone number is 555-5550. I'll go ahead and forward this to him.

I have no idea what form you're referring to; I can only tell you that, in regards to medical insurance, my address in the correct address for my child's residence. No other. The mailing address for his other parent has been provided for you so that you can forward and required notifications.

It seems that there is some confusion. Perhaps we should take this conversation offline. You HR Lady, My Boss, and I can get together.

Thanks, Zadoc

It is incredulous that she just assume that my child doesn't live with me, and then go on to argue the point being rude as possible.

And... /vent