Okay so several months ago I began a series of surgeries related to some army shit (basically my shoulder is gone and my knee is fucked to all hell). I couldn't work, and the VA is taking forever on my claims. I'm also a nursing student to make matters worse. Anyways, the woman I'm staying with is an old friend but has started treating me as if we are SOs. She neglects her kids (who hate her by now, and I spend most of my time with them), but spends every last penny of what she "makes" plus welfare, buying booze, and she gets violent and mean to everyone. She tried to rape me once but than thankfully she just got mad when I said no and kept pushing her off me and kicked me out into the cold/snow.
She does this a lot; when she is drunk and mad over something that doesn't even exist she resorts to kicking me out and locking the door, despite the weather.I had surgery on my knee in March (I also needed surgery on my shoulder but they only did one at a time so I was in a sling) and she would come up behind me and throw me on the ground. One time she did this and then when I was trying to get up (one handed and one legged) she sucker punched me and broke my nose (I still have my favorite jeans stained with blood).
I instinctively leg swept her, but she uses this as me attacking her and willingly forgets what she did to me. Tonight she got drunk again and pushed me down (I had surgery on my shoulder finally on July 17th) and kept doing so. So one time I got up and pushed her down with one arm to tell her to leave me alone (since I did nothing, she was pissed that her kids were likeing me more cuz I play games with them, read with them, taught them how to throw and catch footballs, etc.).
As you can guess, she used this as a means to kick me out again, with the threat of calling the cops. I came back later because I was thirsty and hot, and her son let me in, but only when I told him I'd be in and out and if anyone asked, he didn't do it. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety ever since I left the army and now I'm borderline suicidal. I have no where to go (no family, grew up in foster care), and no one to talk to. This all sucks (don't worry I won't kill myself, just saying the urge is there), and I think MR could use this story since so many are afraid to speak out about what they go through. Thanks for your time ladies and gents.
EDIT: I'm stealing someone's wifi at a park bench if you are wondering.
EDIT 2: The amount of support has really lifted my spirits. I always thought this was a great community (usually lurk here) but wow, I appreciate all of it. It was really hard to admit all of this, and I hope the positive response I got will help others tell their stories too, and not be afraid to ask for help.
[+]boneyarsebogman [recovered] (12 children) | Copy Link
Could you stay with anyone else? It sounds like an unbearable toxic environment.
[–]Not_A_Dinosaur 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[+]boneyarsebogman [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Are there any shelters available to you? Temporary accommodation? I'm a little wary about giving advice, because I don't know exactly what might be available to an ex-soldier or what would be in America.
[–]Not_A_Dinosaur 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[+]boneyarsebogman [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
What exactly would be available in these vets programs?
[–]Not_A_Dinosaur 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[+]boneyarsebogman [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
Congratulations with the nursing! Why don't you try and move into this. You say the universe is determined to stop you, but it's not. Keep going. You've been through war. You've survived. How in the fuck can anything keep you down?
I should say that I offer this advice as someone who has not been through what you have been, so would you know of anyone who has been in a similar position that you could get advice from?
[–]Not_A_Dinosaur 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[+]boneyarsebogman [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Then fight back against depression. You're not a quitter are you? Don't let it control you. You control it. There's no guarantee that it'll ever go away BUT you can get better at dealing with it. Get involved with others. Get out more.
I had to look up the VFW, but that seems like a great idea! There are probably people who are in similar and worse positions than you and they could need you as much as they need them.
And don't thank me, you don't owe me anything. You owe it to yourself to fix the situation you're in now, which you can if you are willing to.
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