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States are increasingly considering equal shared parenting in custody cases. This young Kentucky couple serve as a test case.

JohnKimble111

January 19, 2022

129 upvotes

/r/MensRights

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Post Information

Title	States are increasingly considering equal shared parenting in custody cases. This young Kentucky couple serve as a test case.
Author	JohnKimble111
Upvotes	129
Comments	49
Date	January 19, 2022 1:06 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/s7dco1/states_are_increasingly_considering_equal_shared/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/states-are-increasingly-considering-equal-shared.1096812 https://theredarchive.com/post/1096812

Comments

[–]EricAllonde 63 points64 points65 points 4 years ago* (36 children) | Copy Link

[–]pantsu_kamen 30 points31 points32 points 4 years ago (34 children) | Copy Link

[–]kanniget -4 points-3 points-2 points 4 years ago (32 children) | Copy Link

[–]pantsu_kamen 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (30 children) | Copy Link

I respect your opinion, but despite what anyone claims, the system over here was never really meant to benefit children. What it was set up for was to punish financially successful men who abandoned a housewife and kids to run off with their young secretary, yet it still continues to operate on the same principles despite dramatic changes to society which have made that a relatively rare scenario.

If a man can't afford to support his kids, the court will tell him to get a better paying job, yet even though that's at least as easy or arguably even easier for a woman to do nowadays, nobody holds them to the same expectations. Having the responsibilities fall entirely one parent and the rights and benefits on the other leads to issues such as bitterness, estrangement, paternal suicide, maternal neglect, and so on, which are certainly not going to be good for the child. Holding both parents to equal standards would make their own minds and lives healthier in addition to reducing conflict, so that they can actually focus on their child's well-being.

[–]kanniget -4 points-3 points-2 points 4 years ago (29 children) | Copy Link

[–]pantsu_kamen 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link

[–]kanniget -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (27 children) | Copy Link

[–]pantsu_kamen 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

I get that, the original comment Implies child support is evil.(paraphrasing)

Well that wasn't my intention, it's just that in cases like this, the father is already paying more than half the child's expenses to begin with since he's almost certainly the one paying for things like insurance and probably most clothing all by himself, on top of the food and utilities while they're there fifty percent of the time, but then he's also forced to cover much of the mother's costs as well. Unless she's severely disabled, there's just no excuse for that kind of imbalance in this day and age, so the mother is just being a lazy bum. At least under the old system it made sense because one parent had full time custody, so naturally the other owed their fair share of the bills even though there were often problems with how it was applied.

[–]kanniget -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]pantsu_kamen 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

Do you think it's ok for a child to live half the time in poverty and half in luxury?

Of course not, which is why the court should compel the mother to step up the same way they would if the father was being a deadbeat. Why should responsibility only go one way? How does having a mother who refuses to carry her own weight benefit a child?

If we were talking about a billionaire who married a truck stop waitress I could understand where you're coming from, but these are both working class people and it's just that only one is making any effort. Notice how she's described as "a 22 year old full time mom" except she only has the child fifty percent of the time. What is she doing with the rest of that time, why doesn't she get a job?

Meanwhile, he started out in a menial job but applied himself and got better ones for the sake of his child. What's in the best interest of the child is being raised by parents who are responsible and good role models, not one parent who is and another who parties all night and sleeps all day while the grandparents babysit.

[–]kanniget3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]pantsu_kamen4 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]kanniget2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]pantsu_kamen3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]MGTOW_and_Bitcoin 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

[–]kanniget 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]MGTOW_and_Bitcoin 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]kanniget0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The more financially capable may also be the worst person emotionally for the child.

If you see child support as extortion then don't get married and don't have kids because if the only thought that you can have about providing for your child is extortion then you will make a shitty partner and a shitty parent.

There are reason to hate child support as a concept and women who use it as financial aid for themselves. But they are not the majority.

I have 2 exes, 1 who is a narcissistic nightmare and wanted me to fund her lifestyle. The other one was financially capable of raising the kids on her own. I still contributed when she needed money, for the kids.

The narcissistic ex was firmly put in her place when she tried to get me to pay for maintaining the lifestyle she had become accustomed to. Our system here doesn't allow for that unless there are mitigating circumstances and it's now extremely rare for a judge to even hear a case on it. I now pay the mandatory amount based on care arrangements and I come levels. Sure, she can game it by not working but for every dollar she loses by not working she only gets 20c from me. So really a dumb move on her part.

Your system is archaic and prone to being milked by unscrupulous people. Get your system changed to focus on what's best for the child.

[–]MGTOW_and_Bitcoin2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]kanniget0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]MGTOW_and_Bitcoin2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]kanniget0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]MGTOW_and_Bitcoin2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]kanniget1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]MGTOW_and_Bitcoin2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]kanniget1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]MGTOW_and_Bitcoin2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]kanniget1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]MGTOW_and_Bitcoin2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]kanniget1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Where did I say that? Your making a whole raft of assumptions about what I think. What's even crazier is you either have a comprehension problem or are just not bothering to read because you can't seem to grasp that I am saying along those lines at all.

Show me anywhere where I said deadbeat dad's was the problem? Your system punishes men for having children with women who only care about the money. I get it, fix your fucking system so that's not the problem, but don't be stupid and think that just because a few women are deadbeat mums that the best person to raise a child is the father.

The best parental situation is both parents in a loving relationship raising the child. Next best is the care shared 50/50 Then it's majority time with the most emotionally stable. Then it's majority time with the most financially stable.

Your advocating for a system based on who earns the most, so you will end up with a kids who gets ripped out of one home and put into another because that parent suddenly earns more... Only with the potential for it to reverse 6 months later when the other one gets a pay rise or the current one gets fired.... That's insane and not in the interests of the child.

[–]MGTOW_and_Bitcoin2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Beltox2pointO 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MGTOW_and_Bitcoin 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ABBucsfan 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Mine tried doing so as well.. everyone knew it was bs, med/arbitrator included, but had to do their due diligence. Sort approaxh was get kid to talk to psych and see if we have anything to work on. Didn't find anything other than kid has seen parents fighting and kid knows too much about divorce (clearly indicates stuff mom was saying but refuses to name names). And surprise, psych wants whole family to get counselling. It's dragged it out so long.. I moved out before summer and still only 6 sleep overs and two dinners a month. It's rediculous. And as you said NO CONSEQUENCES! The drama has made it hard to work, even to point of using up last of my vacation some afternoons from the stress and it has cost me several thousand already in lawyer fees dragging it out and still not over. And why? There is no reason I should have significantly less parenting time. That's my kid too. I've never tried to give her less than half

[+][deleted] 4 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]kanniget 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link