Toxic masculinity is a blaming term.

Former_Range_1730 · 2024-11-12T02:08:25+00:00

Yes it is. In fact, Masculinity itself is a blaming term when used by feminists.

Ask them to define one masculine trait that they deem positive, and watch closely how they can't even do that.

BCRE8TVE · 2024-11-12T08:29:21+00:00

Toxic masculinity may point to an actual phenomenon that should be talked about (men being so "uber masculine" they hurt themselves) but the term itself is absolute dogshit. It associates masculinity with toxicity no matter what the women say.

Instead I encourage everyone to reject the term toxic masculinity, and call it toxic gender norms instead, because it is the norms that are toxic, not masculinity. Plus it gets to point out whether those are norms men impose on themselves (which they always blame) or norms imposed on men (of which there are a ton and feminism ignores all of them).

And then toxic masculinity has gone from the "academic" usage, to basically being used to insult or blame men 80% of the time the word is used, so much so that casual everyday misandry is just flat out accepted.

Toxic masculinity is now used mostly as a blaming term and it absolutely is bullshit. Tell women to use toxic gender norms and dare them to explain why we should stick with toxic masculinity and watch them fall all over themselves trying to justify the use of a term that is hostile to men, rather than going for something that is actually useful.

DecrepitAbacus · 2024-11-12T08:13:06+00:00

Unlike those asserting "toxic masculinity" the huge majority of boys and men in our communities are decent, caring human beings.

Excellent_You5494 · 2024-11-12T01:37:03+00:00

I don't like stoicism, but it's not toxicly masculine.

I dislike it on philosophical points, and their usual actions.

Stoics tend to steal the wins of people who actually do the work, or impose their philosophy onto people who never utilized or believed in it, and quite a few people who criticized it, from Cicero, to Ayn Rand, to Nietzsche.

They tend to do it among the MGTOWS too, it's why I don't like them.

But that's stoicism at the core, not toxic masculinity.

Greedy-Ambition6551 · 2024-11-12T12:48:11+00:00

Yep. Been saying this for years.

It’s another way to shame men, and make us “accountable” for our “actions” despite us just needing genuine help and support, in several regards; mostly concerning mental health disorders.

There should be services MADE for men. In terms of helping us in our own way. Mental health services cater towards women’s mental health needs, often neglecting men and our needs.

Then to top it off, they victim blame by saying men don’t get help because of “toxic masculinity”.

It’s shameful but unsurprising. There simply needs to be more services that cater TOWARDS men. That’s the only way that we can reach the men who need help. You shouldn’t have to change someone just so they fit the bill to help them. They should adjust for the individual. Gender should be irrelevant in helping people.

Vegetable_Ad1732 · 2024-11-12T03:40:53+00:00

And water is wet.

antifeminist3 · 2024-11-13T13:42:19+00:00

Dr. Brene Brown was a feminist sociologist who studied shame--the negative feeling you get when someone criticizes you--"you should be ashamed". Women get shamed from a variety of sources. For years she never studied men. When she did, she found men rarely shame other men. Men's shame comes almost exclusively from women and almost exclusively from women's perceptions of men being weak.

'Toxic masculinity' includes 'not showing weakness'. I think 'toxic masculinity' is better framed as women shaming men and women having toxic femininity.

If women suppress men talking about issues, then the only issues that will be discussed are women's issues. This is the matriarchy asserting itself.

https://www.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/frj4np/how_brene_brown_discovered_that_male_shame_was/

“Here’s the painful pattern that emerged from my research with men: We ask them to be vulnerable, we beg them to let us in, and we plead with them to tell us when they’re afraid, but the truth is that most women can’t stomach it. In those moments when real vulnerability happens in men, most of us recoil with fear and that fear manifests as everything from disappointment to disgust. And men are very smart. They know the risks, and they see the look in our eyes when we’re thinking, C’mon! Pull it together. Man up. As Joe Reynolds, one of my mentors and the dean at our church, once told me during a conversation about men, shame, and vulnerability, “Men know what women really want. They want us to pretend to be vulnerable. We get really good at pretending.” -- Brené Brown

https://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/04/messages-of-shame-are-organized-around-gender/275322/

This is much better described as toxic femininity.

BuddaJim2023 · 2024-11-12T01:40:15+00:00

I’ve had decades of experience with women and certifiable narcissists…and one thing I’ve learned from them is this:

What women accuse us of, is always who and what they are inside. For your example that’s why they use this toxic masculinity label…because as humans, we all possess masculine and feminine energy.

These women operate from the toxic masculine perspective. Most women I’ve ever known and see now resemble defective men. Some literally look like men.

It’s all just standard projection.

Women always, always, always tell you who and what they are. All you gotta do is just stop and listen.

Title	Toxic masculinity is a blaming term.
Author	Anonym2481
Upvotes	92
Comments	32
Date	November 12, 2024 1:27 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1gp94wq/toxic_masculinity_is_a_blaming_term/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/toxic-masculinity-is-a-blaming-term.1535468 https://theredarchive.com/post/1535468

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