This might have to be in r relationships but I thought it would apply more here because im male. Im not looking for pity, im looking for support. Im looking for a non biased view and obviously this is only my side...but what do you all sew from my side?
Yesterday my girlfriend and I got in a fight. She had been crying earlier in the day because she was "tired" of being a mother. I took the baby out of her arms and tried to give her a break for an hour. The baby is still so young, he constantly needs milk and diaper changes and we decided against formula (I dont care what you have to say about formula, that is not the reason for the post).
She went in the other room for like 10 minutes leaving in a rage and complaining and acting aggressive. I played with the baby and after abouy 15 minutes sure enough he was hungry. I brought him back to her and asked her to feed him...she ripped him out of my arms and started crying again. I know my gf very well and at this point I have never seen her act quite like this before. She carried the crying baby around slamming a door and opening blinds vigorously. At to which point she came to a window that is literally on the verge of breaking (I pay all the bills and paid the deposit). She began shaking it and I could see it was ready to shatter. I told her to stop and she ignored me. I said it again and she just hesitated and looked at me and then kept doing it. I shouted it and then she just said "no. I need to open this window!" (in a crazy female voice). I tried to explain to her she was going to break it, but no, woman logic doesnt exist. At this point I grabbed her free arm (she was still holding the baby) and told her to calm down. Immediately upon grabbing her arm I was met with a barrage of attacks to my face. I tried to parry and deflect them knowing the baby was in her arms. She literally made herself fall backwards to the bed at which point started repeatedly kicking me (this hurt very much) with her heels in my testicles and I was pinned against the wall, literally a corner. I feel I had no choice but to swing a couple of punches at her legs at which she responded to grabbing my arms and clawing them and my face.
I feep horrible right now. Mortified. I hate fighting, but I felt so weak because she is a woman and I have to be sensitive of that. I feel like I have no rights to my life as I inherently should. Its my property and my money and she is defacing it and gets away with it.
At any rate, feelings aside what do you think? Was I defending myself? My brain tells me that anyone that looks at this: "she has a baby in arms, how can you ever be defending yourself?"
Tl; dr gf and I got in fight. Ended up physical. What are your unbiased thoughts? Was I defending myself?
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I am not a lawyer, and so what follows is an amateur analysis and is not legal advice.
From a legal standpoint her reaction was self defense, as it was you, by grabbing her arm, who initiated the physical exchange. What you describe is referred to by domestic violence researchers as reciprocal or common couple violence. The criminal justice system may describe it as assault, battery, false imprisonment, child endangerment, and whatever else the DA feels like charging you with.
Having said that, it sounds like you have cause to fear for the safety of your child. If that fear is founded and the danger imminent you should take immediate action. You may have a chance to protect both yourself and your child from physical, emotional and legal harm by going before a court and obtaining a protective order against her. Take the baby and leave. Tell whoever it is in your municipality that grants temporary protective orders your story and that you fear for both the safety of yourself and your child. Once the order is issued, enforce it, and take back your home.
I wish I had done something like this to protect my daughter.
Edit: grammar
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