Why Mom's Time Is Different From Dad's Time - Moms still stressed more despite equal work load

Jacksambuck · 2014-01-28T23:17:23+00:00

define: special pleading

rogerwatersbitch · 2014-01-28T22:22:24+00:00

So a man is supposed to work longer than the woman, just because the woman "feels" he is working less, even though he isn’t? What about a man seeing how the wife gets to stay at home more, be with her children more, and not having to commute to work every single morning? Or knowing his wife is already home from work while he still has a couple of hours to go?Do we think that makes him happy? For god’s sake, why do we just pay attention to what women would like, and not the men?

anon_and_on · 2014-01-28T22:11:41+00:00

It's important to remember that fairness isn't just about absolute equality. It's about the perception of equality.

So once again feelings trump facts.....

DavidByron · 2014-01-28T23:15:27+00:00

TL/DR: Men do more work, but women are the real victims. Always.

Stress. Yep women are so stressed. That's why they die years before men do.

burntash · 2014-01-28T22:51:40+00:00

does this account for whether or not the mom creates more stress on herself by doing something her way vs letting the dad do it his way? whether its cleaning the house, feeding the kids, dressing the kids, etc. the "just forget it, i'll do it myself" attitude?

shinarit · 2014-01-29T11:27:44+00:00

I see this at home. I work at a full job, doing 42-45 hours a week, and help at home some. Girlfriend works a half-job, and that's not every day, some weeks only 3 or 4 days. Still, we do the housework at a half approximately, and she doesn't even understand what is my problem with it. It's her lifestyle that makes it look equal, she gets home earlier, drooling a couple of hours behind the computer, i get home, both do some stuff, and then she gets active and doing some stuff on the computer while i go to sleep. So she doesn't perceive that she has much more time to do stuff, and it doesn't matter that she screws around in it from a fairness point of view.

Yeah, people have a distorted view of life. And as more women are at home, in this case, they are the "stupid" ones.

2014-01-29T00:16:05+00:00

Men have invented the washing machine, the dryer, the oven, the vacuum cleaner, the microwave and many other devices to make managing the household easier, but it hasn't been enough to create domestic bliss.

One day, we'll succeed! Domestic robots (not like the Jetson's robot Rosie but task-dedicated) can eliminate virtually all indoor chores!

What will happen when this joyous goal is achieved? Will the grand motions of the universe become unbalanced?

2014-01-28T22:27:44+00:00

Why don't women take on longer hours at work, alleviating the male burden, and allowing men to participate in their children's lives? This would close the pay gap, the parenting gap, etc...

Oh, right, because women have no agency! /s

Any statistical inequalities which exist are the result of the gap in male and female responsibility; you got the rights, and then some, you got the opportunity, and then some, it's time to suck it up and take on the responsibilities, ladies.

stemlogicuser · 2014-01-29T01:51:46+00:00

Maybe moms are still stressed because women are always looking for something to complain about.

Aatch · 2014-01-29T03:54:05+00:00

So I don't have kids, but I am in a long-term relationship.

My partner tends to get stressed more easily than I do. She channels this into productivity, to the point that she says that she needs to be a little stressed in order to get things done.

I, on the other hand, am much more laid back. I rarely get stressed. When I do get stressed it's still fairly minor.

The thing is, this works really well. My partner's stressing helps keep things organised, but my cool head helps when things don't go to plan. She's the one that makes sure everything is planned out, I rework that plan on the fly when things inevitably go wrong.

Individually, we'd probably be worse off. Not badly off, we can both still do things ourselves, but by playing to our strengths we do much better. By myself, I'd leave things to the last minute and inevitably miss deadlines because of it. By herself, my partner would make more of the small mistakes she already does when stressed, which would inevitably compound until burn-out or break-down.

I know when take over and I know when to let her do her own thing. I didn't decide these roles, we fell into them. If either of us were unhappy with the arrangement, we'd say something. Unlike the narrative that seems to be spun here, couples aren't locked in some power struggle normally.

Aaod · 2014-01-30T00:10:48+00:00

The example they used with kids versus dishes I can use similar examples to show it looks bad for the male. I would rather make supper instead of shoveling the snow in the freezing cold. See what happens when I reverse the genders to traditional male/female jobs?

NemosHero · 2014-01-30T09:43:40+00:00

So let me get this straight. We finally realize work time is equal. We realize how people interpret their time used is subjective. However we only ask women whether they feel the time is fairly split? We only ask women if they consider their time use is high stress? Can we say disposable male?

Title	Why Mom's Time Is Different From Dad's Time - Moms still stressed more despite equal work load
Author	burntash
Upvotes	26
Comments	17
Date	January 28, 2014 9:27 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1weka5/why_moms_time_is_different_from_dads_time_moms/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-moms-time-is-different-from-dads-time-moms.1004363 https://theredarchive.com/post/1004363

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