Gender doesn't matter. Culture war issues are focused on the wrong thing. Attractiveness is a lot less relevant than you think. Personality is almost totally irrelevant, except insofar as it impacts the next thing:

Romantic success boils down almost entirely to boring factors, such as the number of people you interact with every year + some very basic social filters + the ability to break up with incompatible people. Success in online dating is the same, except it's the (pretty easy to game) algorithm that determines your exposure.

These underlying secrets of romantic success are dry, boring, and not really discussed by anyone, probably because in the ancestral environment you couldn't change them. If someone discovered the exact formula for getting everything you want romantically, no one would ever use it or discuss it merely because it was neither interesting nor controversial.