So since quarantine started I’ve been browsing TRP out of boredom. Im a girl btw. From what i have seen it seems like men see the hamster (cognitive dissonance in what women want vs. how they act on what they want) as something thats inherent to female nature because they perceive women to be mentally inferior, less logical, etc.. Maybe the majority of them don’t think its inherent, but that’s what it seems like.

To me, I think what they are seeing when they see “the hamster” is actually just women struggling with the blueprint they’ve been given for femininity. Because a lot of young women (myself included) have learned what it means to be a woman (and to be attractive and desirable) from tv, movies, magazines, and of course social media, I feel like we have a fucked up perspective on what is desirable, or what is allowed. Which leads us to question all of our decisions down to the minutia, to an extent that it doesn’t seem like men have to. And of course theres the factor of danger.

Obviously men have fucked up social programming and insecurities too. I’ve just noticed that in talking to male vs. female friends it seems like women tend to scrutinize themselves and their actions much more harshly. Whereas men, generally, have an easier time saying “well thats just what i wanted to do.” But maybe thats just because they aren’t as comfortable talking to me about it. Or the things that come up in conversation between us just aren’t the things they would scrutinize.

So is “the hamster” just insecurity? Or something deeper than that?