You cannot help someone who is not ready to be helped. That is the primary directive. I say this because everything I've written below applied to me at one point.

Consider for a moment; why there are these thousand and one barriers between a man and getting a girlfriend. They didn't just appear out of thin air. He made them. And meticulously so.

From the porn addiction, to the outbursts of anger, to the thousand and one requirements a woman has to meet, to the poor social skills... these are, in many ways, his defense mechanisms.

Because after all, if it is all out of his control and it's always someone else's fault (in this case, every woman), he never has to do the hard work of changing his life and risking his heart and putting himself out there. He's terrified to do that work and so he's put these grandiose restrictions on himself to make sure no one ever comes close to his center. And so he lives in fear. Full of hate, full of sorrow and pain.

But you have to understand, chances are he's not even aware he's the one doing this. This is probably so deep in his mind that he can't really comprehend that he's the one holding the keys to his own jail cell that he has confined himself to. If only he'd bother trying to find the door...

The sadness and the loneliness is real and it can absolutely blind someone to the fact that they are their own worst enemy. I should know! I was once this person!

But the only way for any of this to change is for him to want it enough, to care enough about getting the results he's after, to decide to change. It HAS to come from HIM. He needs to admit to himself that things need to change. Until then, you cannot do or say anything to make him want that for himself.

As the saying goes, you cannot reason someone out of a position that they never reasoned themselves into.

I feel truly sorry for these young men. They were incredibly frustrated and were seeking answers to their issues and instead of finding what they were seeking, they inadvertently fell down this rabbit hole, and have been put back even further from their desire for a happy life.