Why is it when someone decides to forgive their cheating partner and stay with them, everyone tells them to break up with them?

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-01-06T00:16:46+00:00

Removed for low effort

NumberOneAsshole · 2023-01-06T00:03:34+00:00

Why is it when someone decides to forgive their cheating partner and stay with them, everyone tells them to break up with them?

Because if they cheated once, they will do it again...especially if they are forgiven for it.

Why would you want to stay with somebody that cheated anyway?

Staying with a cheater is pathetic. Move on and find somebody that won't cheat on you.

siletntium · 2023-01-06T00:13:42+00:00

No it's because people don't like betrayal. Having loyalty to someone without loyalty is the absoulute dumbest thing anyone could do. Telling someone to stay with a betrayer is like giving a baby to a chimp. Toxic "advice"

kokokimoo · 2023-01-06T00:14:55+00:00

People who stay with their cheating partner are pathetic, quite frankly.

Most of the time they lack the self respect & self esteem to leave. They would rather stay with someone who doesn’t respect them and has lied and betrayed them—usually because they’re afraid to be alone

Urging someone to get some self respect and leave a lying cheating partner isn’t schadenfreude. It would be schadenfreude to urge your friend to STAY with a lying cheating partner who has no respect for them.

propyl21 · 2023-01-06T00:04:37+00:00

As an example, say if your long term partner that you built your life with for the last 5 years cheated on you, would you stay with them? The betrayal is far too big for any form of reconciliation.

Aromatic_Shop9033 · 2023-01-06T00:06:30+00:00

Because such betrayal speaks to the character of the cheater.

Once a cheater, always a cheater. You should never forgive betrayal, because they don't respect you...and they will do it again.

northernlights190 · 2023-01-06T00:07:16+00:00

People have extremely strong negative feelings on cheating, and also understand that infidelity is very often habitual behaviour. I think most people think of themselves as someone who would end a relationship if there was infidelity.

Meanwhile, most people giving advice want the best for the other person, and since they don’t have any complex feelings or investment in the relationship, it’s quite easy for them to say “break up.” They don’t have to do the hard part of doing it.

2023-01-06T00:16:41+00:00

Because cheating basically already means there is no relationship anymore. If you have an exclusive relationship that means exclusive.

There are very few reasons for staying in a relationship where one partner cheated and most of them are just bargaigning, because they can't accept the truth.

Sometimes people just need a reality check and sorry, i won't ever advise someone to stay with a cheating partner. Once a cheater always a cheater.

No second chances. Not for this.

AngelCrumb · 2023-01-06T00:19:51+00:00

I think it depends on the type of cheating. Sexual infidelity is extremely likely to repeat itself, but an early stage emotional affair (non-sexual) would be something possible to recover from, as long as the person who engaged in that recognises that it can't continue and learns to set proper boundaries in the future.

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bassdaboss · 2023-01-06T00:08:31+00:00

I agree. I have friends that have cheated on their spouse and friends the have been cheated on by their spouse. It's not my place to tell someone to leave the person their with. Once you say I do to a person everything that's between you and that person is between you and that person.

chalkandapples · 2023-01-06T00:22:57+00:00

I would never tell someone to leave their partner no matter what they did. Seems like a major character flaw to me.

Why? I tell my friends if I think they're doing anything that is bad for them. Jobs, bad habits, moving somewhere that I think isn't great etc.

Why can't we criticize relationships like we can anything else?

I actually think men have a weird barrier around criticizing each other's relationships. My brother's first GF was not super nice to him, and apparently insults him regularly to a point all of his friends knew. All of them just went along with it, I didn't know until I joined their dota game one day in place of my brother because he had to do something with his GF, and they were all joking about what she'll be like if he didn't go with her. They all didn't really like her but didn't want to talk about about their friend's GF. There's zero chance that my friend group would not say something if they knew a guy acted this way towards me.

When bad relationships fail, that's a good thing. It's not kind to your friends if you encourage them to be in a bad relationship. And watching your friends being in a bad situation while doing nothing isn't that much better.

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