Leave and Cleave

Red-Curious · 2019-08-22T06:46:33+00:00

No mama's boys. In that culture, it was already understood that women were property and left their parents' house once they married. But because of patriarchal lineage, there was more confusion over whether boys were still subject to their father's house or if they created their own independent family under their father's name and banner.

This passage shows that it was always God's intent that children grow to become independent of their parents rather than eternally dependent.

But aren't we always supposed to be dependent on God for everything we do?

Glad you asked. No, we're not. Total dependence on God is a state of being, not a lifestyle. "Jesus take the wheel" is not healthy theology.

We are dependent because God empowers literally every breath and twitch we make. We would cease to exist if his power did not hold us together. In this, yes, we are always dependent upon God. But transformation means nothing if we depend on God for our character and obedience equally before as after we are transformed. God gives us ownership and agency over our lives through our union with his Son, Jesus Christ, as empowered by the Spirit. We are no longer children in his house subject to his constant badgering. We have a form of independence by virtue of our relationship with Christ, even as the Spirit matures us.

Notice how when our bridegroom came on the scene the Father seemed to bow out of his role of prominence among his people? We are still his children, but Jesus as our bridegroom took the prominent role in how we related with God - because we're not children anymore. That is not to say that Jesus abandoned the Godhead, leaving the Father; rather, it is to say that a husband and wife creating their own bond independent of the husband's household, while still under his father's name, is meant to model the unique way God's people would relate with him through marriage to Christ rather than through prophets of the Father. We bear God's name, but our relationship with the Father is through the Son, and not directly of our own accord.

g_e_m_anscombe · 2019-08-22T20:30:27+00:00

John Goldingay gives some helpful historical context in his book Genesis for Everyone, Part 1.

"Genesis is recognizing the extraordinary nature of the process whereby a man leaves his parents and starts a new commitment to a woman. Actually in the Old Testament a man does not usually do that. A woman leaves her family and joins her husband's. Perhaps that is the point of the comment. In a literal sense a man does not leave home when he marries but brings his wife to his parents' house, or at least into a house in a cluster occupied by the extended family. That means he needs to make sure he transfers his affections and his commitments. His wife comes first now" (42).

I don't think there was any question at that time of whether a husband should join his wife's family (there is the intriguing case of Barzillai mentioned in Ezra 2, but that's a very exceptional case). Rather, because the wife was getting subsumed into her in-laws, it would be easy for them to dominate over her and disrespect her. It's easy to expect one's wife to behave exactly like one's mother, or to expect the wife to submit to the mother-in-law. This is problematic because the wife's love is different than the mother's love. Wives come before mothers. The married couple comes first before the extended family. Just as God's relational dynamic in the Trinity - the Father loving the Son through the Holy Spirit - comes before his mission to save mankind.

Proverbs_31_2-3 · 2019-08-23T06:59:53+00:00

Psalm 45:10-11 gives a view of what this should look like for the woman:

10 Listen to me, O royal daughter; take to heart what I say. Forget your people and your family far away.

11 For your royal husband delights in your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.

RedPillCoach · 2019-08-25T02:16:01+00:00

I think it is God's way of reminding men that she is not yours. It's just your turn.

Praexology · 2019-08-28T18:51:58+00:00

Looks like to me, having to tell women they are to separate from their husbands is unnecessary. (Genesis 3:16 NIV) "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” She is implied from the beginning to separate from her parents due to the curse of sin.

This is further inline with the fact that Man was created for unity with God, and women created for men. It's Gods way of saying to man that husbands have an obligation to lead the relationship and that calling steals away from direct time spent with parents. (Parents read also as: God)

Title	Leave and Cleave
Author	RedPillWays
Upvotes	12
Comments	11
Date	August 22, 2019 5:11 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/ctssuh/leave_and_cleave/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/leave-and-cleave.301152 https://theredarchive.com/post/301152

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