Greetings,

I’m new to the sub and glad to have found it. I’ll try to keep this short. Anyway, I’ve been feeling lost the past three years since I graduated from college. I got a Criminal Justice degree, graduated a year early, and had a great internship that wrapped up my graduation requirements. I was very naive and ignorant at that time as well as neglectful towards my faith.

My internship concluded and I officially had my degree. I hated and still do not like my hometown. It’s small, there’s no opportunity, and almost like there’s no life here. Lately, I’ve discovered that life is what you make it no matter where you are. I couldn’t help but feel jealous of my friends who had graduated and gotten jobs in business or finance in very nice cities, while I was struggling to find a job a in federal law enforcement. Looking back I should’ve started somewhere and gotten a solid start rather then aiming so high, but my ego and my parents advice led me astray. It’s my fault at the end of the day.

I tried to find a job in federal LE, but it didn’t work out due to my lack of experience. I left to go to Marine Officer School because I was desperate and felt like I was feeling like purpose and life were being drained from me the longer I stayed in this town. This proved to be another mistake because I should’ve spent more time preparing myself academically for the programs curriculum. I excelled in physical fitness and academics, but I was sadly cut the day before graduation due to my leadership grade. I take full responsibility. I have since grown from this experience I believe.

I ended up back home and COVID-19 hit. I spent months since then trying to find my way with setbacks and two great LE opportunities falling through. One federal and the other state police academy being postponed. Right now I work as an EMT and am applying for Navy Officer School. This past winter and up until recently I was feeling very vanilla and passive. I just couldn’t bring myself to care anymore believing I was doomed for failure, but the past couple weeks I feel as if my mojo has returned and that God spoke to me in a dream a couple days ago to take action and to stop wasting time.

Sorry for the long rant, but how can I hear the Lord’s voice to direct me where I need to go. I feel so unsure of myself and my future, but yet very driven to go in a DIRECTION. I don’t know if the Navy is the path and I have apprehension in applying plus going back to OCS. I’m tired of wasting anymore time, but yet maybe it wasn’t a waste of time if God meant for me to go through all of this in order to grow up. My passions are reading and writing, but I have no idea where I can channel this. I enjoy writing FanFiction and I wish I could begin upon a Hero’s Journey to greatness like I see in shows such as Black Clover.

What do I do to set my ship in the right direction?