NoFITS September Update

macmeeler · 2018-09-05T05:34:01+00:00

Is it true Frame is more important than Game and Fitness etc?

For your mission, definitely. For long term relationships, definitely. For gaming short term, I don't think so, as game and fitness can acquire you an abundance very quickly.

Any other things you can point out, let me know.

That girl that touched your forearms. She's begging for you to be that guy in her life. Go play hot guy for a minute with her.

Just wanted to say keep it up. You've inspired me. You're doing a great job at keeping women from being the focal point of your life and I applaud that.

Also, I recommend being very, very strict about adhering to your diet plans. Don't fall into the trap of thinking it's hard. You get to eat the food your body ought to have. I find it's way more rewarding to eat right than it is to eat for mouth pleasure.

Red-Curious · 2018-09-05T06:03:51+00:00

Thanks for the update!

NMMNG

The point of the book revolves around breaking the nice-guy paradigm, which many men are stuck in. The core concept is that "nice guys" really aren't all that nice at all because they live with hidden expectations (covert contracts) and become bitter and act out when their expectations aren't met. They believe that by acting nice and hiding their flaws people must love them, give them affection, or somehow that they deserve more sex from their girlfriend, wife, etc. from it. The solution is to be a little bit more of a jerk - a concept that most foreign men (especially Christians) simply cannot fathom.

No, I did not do most of the exercises.

WISNIFG

Glad you're going through it! Interestingly enough, the concept of feeling guilty for saying no is really only alluded to in the first 3 chapters. The value of the book is in the conflict-resolution strategies presented, most notably being fogging and negative inquiry.

Alphaness

WISNIFG is another good starting point. Again, it gives techniques on being assertive, which is a base-line character trait to develop alphaness, though it's certainly not all-encompassing. MMSLP covers it a lot better and should be your next read after WISNIFG (I always recommend the trilogy in that order). Even though I get that you're single, it will still be useful in preparation - just be cautious in that it's a fairly explicit book at times, in case your self-control is pretty low.

STFU

Sounds like you've made good progress with this. I'm glad you're learning to employ this with a frame of humility and love. That can be tricky to do for some.

Game

So this area could use some work for you.

offered an neighboring female acquaintance the spare seat

That's a "nice guy" move. Clearly you missed the point of NMMNG ;)

More playfully, see her hovering, interrupt her, say, "I know you were dying to sit next to me, but this seat's taken by my grandpa's ghost. He should be back from the bathroom any minute now." Or just make up some other off-the-wall comment. The point of game at this stage isn't to learn how to talk to women; it's to learn how to talk to them in a way that lets them know you DNGAF.

obvious conversations but out of respect for the BP dude i avoided it

Why do you respect him? Your later statement makes more sense - that it wasn't worth it to you. But even then, your rationale is because of his potential white-knighting. I'm not sure you're using that phrase right (I think you mean mate-guarding - don't worry, the mods are working on a glossary to help!), but the concept puts you in his frame. Your actions are decided by how you think he would react. If you want to talk to her, go talk to her. They're not married.

hot atheist chick ... I started evangelizing, and she started thinking about Christianity ... again, not my priority, mission 1st

Well done on your priorities and sharing the Gospel! Perhaps she could be someone you "raise up" to be worth dating someday. Just make sure the evangelism precedes the dating (i.e. no evangedating).

What books to read for alphness after WISNIFG, Rollos books? gimme something good.

It sounds like NMMNG went over your head or you just didn't know how to connect the deeper content to your personal life, so I'd go back there too. But MMSLP goes a lot more into the differences between alpha and beta. I'd recommend that before Rational Male, though they're both solid as far as non-Christian content goes.

Is it true Frame is more important than Game and Fitness etc?

In my view, game is a subset of frame. But yes, frame is probably the single most important thing in attracting women and keeping them attracted to you. It's what gets them on board with your mission. It's what provides them the comfort they need to stay committed. It's what shows them how tough you are and how sexy that can be. Just don't confuse "frame" with being a cold, emotionless robot. Frame isn't about how you express your emotions. It's about your identity, reason for living, and determination to pursue that reason.

Any other things you can point out, let me know

See above. Also, the way you write communicates an incredible and unwarranted pride and arrogance (especially the Prov. 26:4-5 comment, but many other insinuations here too). I want to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're writing that way to try to impress a bunch of guys on the internet, but that you actually have some humility in real life. Don't feel like you have to impress us. We're not your judge. You're not even your own judge. That position is reserved for God. So, just be straight-forward.

Thank you for the September update :) I really appreciated reading this and hopefully this helps nudge you forward a bit.

rocknrollchuck · 2018-09-05T16:20:32+00:00

I read NMMNG (the whole thing) and i seriously have to ask what was the point of this book? only thing i can take away from it is set boundaries, don't let people cross them and don't let people treat you badly ever. Also, did anyone actually do these exercises? some of them are not going to line up with scripture, or RP.

The point of this book for me was introspection on how I got to where I am, and understanding the underlying causes in my own life that led me to be a Nice Guy^TM . And yes, I did all the exercises - they helped reveal some very uncomfortable truths.

BF % and diet. After reading some fasting posts on here, and looking at things, its clear the best thing to do for about 3 months is set a clean eating routine and phase, establish a baseline, say no to outings (which i have done) and people. It's amazing when you say no to people, they fall off the band wagon so quick (aka false friends). I have also reduced my post workout days carbs.

I am eating lowish carbs, no fruit or dried fruits etc. The days i train, i will eat say 200gms of potato for dinner as a carb for recovery and replenishment. The next day will be leafy greens etc, with more fats.

Sounds like you have a plan in place. Are you weighing/measuring your food? This is key to understanding how many calories you are putting in your body. Also, use an app like MyFitnessPal to record everything you eat. You'd be amazed at how much more you are probably eating than you think, I know I was.

Also, I will go ahead and recommend Intermittent Fasting (IF) here. I lost 68 lbs. in 2-1/2 years doing a 16 hr fast with only water and black coffee, and an 8 hour eating window.

STFU is huge man (in terms of responding to people or giving my 2cents). I have gone so far as to ignore comments, i can almost feel them bounce of my back and shoulders. It's teaching others not to start conversations off with dumb or stupid comments towards me. They get ignored. I've stopped listening to almost everyone, they have to get my attention first, because i am not paying anymore attention. I am doing this on a subconscious level, not even aware myself its happening.

It's amazing how being aware of this one thing leads to such a big change.

Also, there are other women in my work building (hundreds of different business's) that i have spoken with previously, i realize the ones that want to talk will come past and make it somewhat easier for me (which is maybe 1 woman).

Be careful here. It's okay to practice your conversational skills at work, but keep your work life and your personal/dating life separate. One wrong move could end your career these days.

What books to read for alphness after WISNIFG, Rollos books? gimme something good.

The Way of the Superior Man was an awesome read. Different, and like any other secular book not all of it will apply to you, but I found that it contains a unique perspective on understanding and interacting with women.

Is it true Frame is more important than Game and Fitness etc?

Yes. Frame is your identity and how you project that identity onto your world.

old_fasioned_man · 2018-09-09T16:46:07+00:00

I did not get NMMNG either. I found Rolo's books helpful especially Positive Masculinity.

Title	NoFITS September Update
Author	NoFaithInThisSub
Upvotes	3
Comments	11
Date	September 5, 2018 5:23 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/9d3cyd/nofits_september_update/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/nofits-september-update.301757 https://theredarchive.com/post/301757

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