I finally skimmed through a bit of r/theredpill aaaand I had to skedaddle out of there cuz I'm not crazy about the idea of women being seen as plates and all.
HOWEVER I did enjoy the talks of improving oneself. THAT I am totally in favor for in every person.
I moved over to r/marriedredpill and found a happier medium of less plate spinning and more being an Alpha male husband.

One post I read got me crying about dysfunctional captains. I realized that is what my husband is. https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2yrxtp/the_three_dysfunctional_captains_and_first/

I have felt like a shrew in my marriage. I have read about how a good Christian wife needs to respect her husband and a husband needs to love his wife. At the same time, I feel like something has been missing in that dynamic.

Not only is my husband a drunk captain with a pissed off first officer, that seems to be the dynamic of his parents' relationship as well. His Mom is the sole provider while his Dad doesn't work (initially he did, it's complicated).

I've sent my husband several links from r/marriedredpill in the hopes of being able to discuss them with him further.

On a related note, I have been thoroughly disappointed with him in that he nags me about my weight by getting upset if I don't drink enough water. I'm 10lbs over what I was when we got married, I'm 5lbs over since before I was pregnant. I can easily run a 5k without walking. Pre-Covid, I did weight training.

Meanwhile, he used to have abs before we dated and in our near 10 years total together, he has not even gotten close to that. Before I was pregnant, I challenged him to a one mile race. He couldn't even run it all the way through.

He's not fat. He's got that skinny fat going on which is meh. Being that I am bigger than him, he has told me straight that he is disappointed in having a fat wife and wants me to be back to the size I was when we first started dating, which is not a bad request. However, when we first started dating, he said that he would get back into shape as well. Never happened.

In the last month, I bought him protein powder and protein bars to help him gain weight. If he is so upset about having a wife that is bigger than him, he needs to do his own part in gaining weight.