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In-laws problems.

haha_boobs
May 15, 2018
9 upvotes
/r/RedPillWives
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Post Information
Title In-laws problems.
Author

haha_boobs
Upvotes 9
Comments 11
Date May 15, 2018 11:46 AM UTC
(8 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/8jkx1m/inlaws_problems/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/in-laws-problems.208531
https://theredarchive.com/post/208531

Comments

[–]haha_boobs[S] 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

First of all I'm sorry I'm sharing my story via a comment, I'm mostly a lurker on reddit.

It's in my culture to stay with paternal In-laws after marriage. There are laws mandating the same. So Yes, husband and I live with them.

Problems-

  1. They don't give any privacy to me and my husband - even if we are in a room alone, my MIL would knock and ask my husband to get to work (he works from home)

  2. Because my husband's sleep schedule is very different from mine (he works at night, I sleep and go to college in the morning), we don't sleep together anyway, and my in laws insist he works at night "as I wouldn't disturb him"

  3. They don't let us hang out together, go for evening outs or fancy dinners- if we do go out, they call in an hour and ask us to return.

  4. My in laws constantly nag my husband about my dress and attire. My MIL dresses extremely traditionally, they're from a village, and I'm not, and they insist that i dress traditionally, and my husband hates their nagging, and even I'm helpless.

  5. My father in law talks baseless rumours about me, like I'm an alcoholic (I don't drink), my friends are vulgar (they're sweet and modest) and that I don't serve my husband (I do, I cook and clean for him besides my college)

  6. My father in law has had a criminal history of mental cruelty against my MIL and he's inculcating his violent and evil notions on my husband and I can see my sweet loving husband changing.

As a result my husband has left home with all the conflict and I'm left behind with my monster in laws.

How do get my husband back :(

[–]IroniatonEarly 40's, married for 10 years, 4 kids7 points8 points9 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Your situation sounds really stressfull! Do you have friends who understand you and whom you can talk to?

To clarify: when did your husband leave and where is he now? Does he have plans to come back?

[–]haha_boobs[S] 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I can't share these details with my friends. I've been married for 2 years and I have a year old baby.

I don't know what he's up to. He's pissed at me because my parents intervened and told him to treat me better. Off late he was acting just like his father, asking me to dress in a certain way, not go out for my college events, you know, aggressive controlling behaviour.

In the heat of the moments I shouted at his parents (I never do) and told them off for not giving us any space and lying to me and covering up for his mistakes. He's pissed at me for shouting at them.

I have no idea when will he return.

[–]IroniatonEarly 40's, married for 10 years, 4 kids1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You are in a very stressful situation in your life, and you need to keep your head clear. Is there anybody in your life that you could open up to and share this with? You should really try and find a confidante, somebody who understands your situation. From Reddit it's difficult to see what your options in reality are - most of us have never been in your position, having to live with your in-laws.

Churchill's words: When you are going through hell, keep going.

[–]MxUnicornEarly 20s, Married, 8 years4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Did your ILs nag your husband about you before you two married? How has he handled his parents opinions before?

I highly suggest posting at r/JustNoMIL too, as they have a ton if collective experience dealing with toxic ILs. I'm not sure if this kind of comment is allowed here, but I've read many stories like yours, and it sounds like your husband is trying to throw you under the bus in self defense. Aka his parents are nagging him over you and, instead of standing up for you, he's taking their side and blaming you for everything.

[–]sneakpeekbot2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Here's a sneak peek of /r/JUSTNOMIL using the top posts of the year!

#1: You can come over again when you bring me my daughter.
#2: JNMILitW and the Emergency Key
#3: So, about the Will

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[–]PyjamaTime2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I advise against it. I think they fuel hatred

[–]MxUnicornEarly 20s, Married, 8 years2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I have literally never seen that, and I've been lurking a long time.

[–]whitebunny87 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

how old are you both? are you expected to live with his family forever?

how long ago did your husband leave the house and have you been in contact with him since then?

[–]cstephe93 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I don’t have any advice to give, but I suggest cross posting to /r/JUSTNOMIL They have really good advice and sometimes resources for your specific area (if you’re comfortable with sharing your general location). They may be able to direct you where to start with figuring out the next steps to take in your situation. Best of luck to you!

[–]MxUnicornEarly 20s, Married, 8 years2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I came here to say this. JNMIL is full of sweet, helpful people.

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