Sigma appreciation moment.

blindedbythebrights · 2016-07-27T18:21:16+00:00

I know this comment may be a little late, but I'm just discovering the description of a "sigma" type of man, and it really reminds me of a high-functioning person with autism spectrum disorder. Are there any thoughts on this or a place where this discussion has been held already?

PhantomDream09 · 2016-05-13T16:09:02+00:00

This is so intriguing, full disclosure, I have heard 'Omega' used a few times, but have only run across the word 'Sigma' once or twice. A lot of what you have shared reminds me of my SO. I've been chatting with him, kind of excited, he loves to see my reactions, and push everyone's buttons. He is never made uncomfortable by the opinions or reactions of other people, but actually seems to enjoy creating a bit of disruption.

I wanted to share something he linked to me: What Is A Sigma Male.

He has an amazing mix of assertive and supportive traits and switches between them easily depending on the context. He'll laugh at someone trying to posture and make them uncomfortable, but he also won't hesitate to show compassion for someone that is actually struggling and needs help.

I was really interested after reading this thread, and had never really considered whether or not this might apply to Occam. He actually told me that he adopted this understanding of himself some time ago, but that he really doesn't mention or talk to others about it really. I've always described him as masculine, and dominant, a wonderfully balanced leader...but this provides a whole new window through which to understand him.

While many see the Sigma as a rebel who challenges and undermines Alpha Males, the real truth is that a Sigma is an introverted Alpha. Whereas an Alpha is easily recognisable as a dominant extrovert, it is not as clear that a Sigma is a dominant introvert.

......

Sigmas are confident, self-assured and extremely comfortable in their own skin. A Sigma Male has a deep understanding of how his mind and personality works. He knows his learning style and personality type, their strengths and their inherent weaknesses.

......

A Sigma is completely independent, self-sufficient and self-reliant. They live their lives exactly as they please. They care nothing for what the masses think of them.

Many INTJ/Ps identify as a Sigma. The introspective, thoughtful aspects of their personality blend well with the Sigma mentality. INTJ/Ps and similiar personality types are by their nature drawn to the Sigma ideal. They are far more likely to take the necessary action to become a Sigma Male. ...... Sigmas are not born, they are made. They are shaped from years of adversity and physical and mental trial. This accounts for why there are few very young Sigmas. Most Sigmas only come into their own in their late twenties. A man can naturally be an Alpha from birth. An Alpha’s strength lies in his social skills, natural charm and force of personality. These are often with him from childhood and develop stronger in more stable and privilieged backgrounds. For the Sigma it is very different. His strengths, independence, resilience and toughness are only acquired in overcoming hardship and surviving difficult backgrounds.

All of the above perfectly describe and explain Occam. I sound so silly right now...but as I mentioned this was just a word I had seen once or twice before but never really looked into all that much. He's high dominance, masculine, and incredibly comfortable in social situations. Mostly though, we just spend time doing our own thing. He's the first person that has ever fully accepted (and looked out for) my needs as an introvert. He has pushed me beyond my social comfort many times, but also makes sure that I'm never overwhelmed too much.

I could go on and on about all the ways he has helped me grow and improve...while also laughing at all the ways I jump and twitch, and bop around randomly. He's never tried to 'reign in' my energy (unless I'm working myself into an unproductive state) and always encourages my random quirks. I've never been so much myself with someone else....and I've never felt so much as myself (even when simply spending time alone). He's the first person I actually prefer to spend time with more than I enjoy having time to myself. He's a hardline INTJ, has often described himself as a 'mad scientist,' will take on projects out of the blue and chase his interests with a passion that boarders on obsession. He likes the things he likes and will study anything of interest to him endlessly.

He can be the life of the party, or totally alone - but his personality doesn't change. He'll go against the grain in a heartbeat once he decides what the right course of action is, and that leads to interesting results. While with a small group of friends, they got into an altercation with some other people. Afterwards, one of his buddies that had been really calm calm/defiant during the incident, broke down a bit afterwards. Everyone was off to the side and clearly seemed uncomfortable by his open vulnerability. Without hesitating, Occam put his arm around his friend and focused solely on making sure he was all right. Emotions don't make him uncomfortable, but he only reacts sincerely/in a comforting manner when he sees those emotions as valid/genuine. It's why he'll comfort me when I'm really distressed about something important, but tease/ignore me if I am overreacting to something insignificant.

The "self-made" and trial by fire aspect also matches seamlessly with his life. One of the things that allowed me to respect him straight away was hearing about how he became the man he is today. He really threw some curve-balls at me early on (saying things that had a high probability to strike a nerve or potentially upset me) just to see how I react. He's often said that it was my willingness to hear his thought process and how he arrived at certain conclusions that made me stand out to him. I didn't immediately jump into a state of defensiveness, I wanted to understand - which is a really big thing in his book.

Thank you for writing this, I'm really excited to look into this some more.

Sunhappy_DC · 2016-05-13T14:26:31+00:00

I love me some Sigmas (the RP class, not the fraternity :V )

This cracked me up!

Look for the guy who is out in the group, is an obvious part of it, but keeps breaking away from it, especially to pursue women. Sigmas are solitary hunters. They don't need the emotional support from their friends to pursue women, and tend to think that their friends only get in the way. If you see a group of guys, and one of them seems to periodically vanish and return, he could be their Sigma.

Very interesting observation.

Pay particular attention to the guy who locks eyes with you, disappears for a while, then later appears unexpectedly at your side or behind you.** Sigmas like to take people off-guard.** The guy who smiles and approaches you directly probably isn't a Sigma. He is more likely the guy who initially makes you feel slightly alarmed and WTF was THAT?

This is all my current bf does. Sneaks up on me like the Black Panther!

** If a man seems to be intentionally trying to turn you off or irritate you, he may be a Sigma.** Sigmas relentlessly test and qualify women in order to categorize them. Of course, he could simply be a jerk. Or a social incompetent.

I WOULD LOVE FOR A MOD TO DISSECT THIS A BIT FURTHER. My bf is literally doing this on a weekly basis haha! I find it adorable but it is like he almost expects me to freak out and cower or be disgusted and I just cannot find it in me, 90% of the time.

Does he cut you away from the crowd? Sigmas aren't herd animals and will always prefer a quiet conversation of two to group banter. If you're looking for a Sigma and you sense the man with whom you're talking is separating you from everyone else, you may be in luck. Or he may just be a serial killer.

Can a man be extroverted and a sigma? Serious question. My bf is extroverted (so he says -- Starting to think he's actually ISTJ) but likes to be alone and do one on one stuff. I love be away from all the noise anyway, so this isn't a problem. A plus, matter of fact!

Do others look to him for leadership? And does he provide it or does he shy away from it? If the latter, you may have struck sigmatic gold.

My bf doesn't like being in charge. He'll lead if he has to, but he would prefer if everyone was competent enough to do the basics without his oversight.....so he can go on craigslist and look at cars some more XD

Does he make you feel that if you don't take your pants off, he might just go ahead and do it himself without bothering to ask you? And do you find it worrisome that somehow, that doesn't seem to upset you the way you know it is supposed to? You may have found the type of introvert you seek.

YASSSS hunty.

tintedlipbalm · 2016-05-13T14:28:23+00:00

Yes, I am totally into sigma! There's so much mystery and confusion around this character and it rarely gets talked about. To be quite honest, I've never characterized their type as 'mad scientist' because I haven't met science-inclined men who I'd identify as sigma males. Most of my real life understanding of sigmas comes from the artist and writer types (quintessentially ISFP, MBTI-wise) who know the game, can play the game with success when talent is present, but don't care for the game.

I wouldn't know if I'd peg Elon Musk as one, for example, as I remember from his ex wife's interview that he was quite into social and relationship dominance (not to mention careerwise), which she said was a result of his African upbringing. He has by all means demonstrated he cares about the game and winning it which I wouldn't characterize as sigma.

VerborgenesGeheimnis · 2026-01-11T03:47:42+00:00

I function outside of expectations.

Title	Sigma appreciation moment.
Author	SuperSlavisWife
Upvotes	14
Comments	22
Date	May 13, 2016 12:21 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/4j625t/sigma_appreciation_moment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/sigma-appreciation-moment.209994 https://theredarchive.com/post/209994

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