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Stop Arguing With Your SO

jade_cat

September 29, 2016
16 upvotes
/r/RedPillWives
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Post Information
Title Stop Arguing With Your SO
Author

jade_cat

Upvotes 16
Comments 7
Date September 29, 2016 1:24 AM UTC
(9 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/54ztcz/stop_arguing_with_your_so/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/stop-arguing-with-your-so.209542
https://theredarchive.com/post/209542
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Comments

[–]RedPillRhonda25 • LTR • 3 Years10 points11 points12 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I used to think that if a certain behavior stirred a negative emotion in me, it was worth bringing up, no matter how small. I now realize how wrong I was. Not all negative emotions need to be addressed and FED. They'll often grow in size and what was once a menial issue will be an argument that could've easily been avoided.

[–]BeneGezzWitch2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Oooooooh my God is this an important skill to foster. My mom is a committed hippie and yet a dyed in the wool red pill-er and this was her number one lesson. She told me as young as middle school "your emotions are not an emergency, they'll keep". It's the marriage advice I give to my girlfriends most often.

My phone notes have been useful for this. Whenever something "grinds my gears" I jot a note about it. If I read it a couple days later with a clear mind, it's usually nothing.

[–]blushinglillyMarried 5 ys, Early 30s0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Not to mention that sometimes your negative feelings are just a passing fancy or of the moment. Sometimes I've left things and found that a few days later I don't even care about the thing I was upset about - it was just of the moment. So it would have been pointless to fall out about it.

[–]dalls180 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I made this realization recently too, especially with the help of this sub. It's so strange when you are overwhelmed with your emotions, in the moment they can feel like everything and like it will always be that way. However when they fade you think "wow that wasn't life or death...life moved on..I'm ok...everything is ok."

[–]jade_cat[S] 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

As a huge fan of infographics and diagrams, I really like this image. It's a great step-by-step way to determine if mentioning something to your SO is really worth it. And it will make you realize that the vast majority of the time, it's definitely not worth it.

[–]Camille113253 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

What a great chart! It's really important to get into the habit of asking these questions mentally so that you can avoid unnecessary confrontations. I'm glad that whoever made this emphasized that asking your SO to change a fundamental aspect of themselves is a red flag. Thanks for sharing this infographic with the sub :)

[–]TempestTcup7 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I'm glad that whoever made this emphasized that asking your SO to change a fundamental aspect of themselves is a red flag.

This is what I came here to say! I liked how it was one of the first items, too.

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