When Your Husband Doesn't "Meet Your Needs": Fighting for Marriage

Irisandoleander · 2017-08-16T12:43:55+00:00

This article has some really good (and some meh okay) points. But something that resonated is this quote:

Our husbands are not meant to, able to, or equipped to meet all our emotional needs and we need to stop expecting them to.

When we expect our husband to meet ALLLLLL our needs we're going to be disappointed. Some other guy will meet a missing need and that chick-brain will turn on and say oh - life could be better with that guy. But that man can't meet all your needs either. Women branch swing for various reasons but it all comes back to this. This expectation that a man should be meeting each and every one of our emotional needs. If we stop putting that expectation on our husband we can better appreciate who he is.

whitebunny87 · 2017-08-17T05:02:42+00:00

i get a lot of my emotional needs met by my girlfriends. they're very intuitive and caring types, so when something's off they can tell, and we'll ramble on about it in a way i wouldn't subject my fiance to.

there are certain things in life that only women experience and understand, and this movement towards your husband being everything for you and ultimately replacing what were traditionally female-female relationships is really dangerous. he doesn't understand your feelings the way another woman would, and expecting him to will leave you disappointed and looking for that "emotional connection" in another man.

proprioceptor · 2017-08-16T21:37:16+00:00

I really like this article - it points out the unfair (and unnecessary) burden that we put on our husbands without realizing it.

Just for the sake of discussion - what needs are ok to have met outside of your marriage? Obviously sexual needs are off the table, but where do some of you draw that line?

tintedlipbalm · 2017-08-17T16:27:05+00:00

It's a double edged sword that women tend to fit their lives around their relationships. It's great to focus our prime energy there but then it's easy to forget your SO is not an extension of your brain. I know these kinds of articles focus on emotional needs like commiserating or managing boredom but for me the struggle is about self-judgement.

I usually keep most of my anxieties for my journal but have found that I'm more prone to whine at him about my shortcomings around that time of the month. Like I just really want to open the door for us to pick at me for some reason, it's weird. Tracking my moods has really helped me prepare for this and prevent the whole ordeal!

Rivkariver · 2017-08-21T23:00:16+00:00

FWIW Since I became Christian and stoped expecting a man to fulfill all my spiritual needs, it's gotten better.

Title	When Your Husband Doesn't "Meet Your Needs": Fighting for Marriage
Author	Irisandoleander
Upvotes	13
Comments	8
Date	August 16, 2017 12:40 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/6u1qz2/when_your_husband_doesnt_meet_your_needs_fighting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/when-your-husband-doesnt-meet-your-needs-fighting.208808 https://theredarchive.com/post/208808

Comments