Advice on affection please

pcadrian · 2016-09-25T02:01:03+00:00

I won't take his hand and hold it or randomly hug him.

This can definitely come across as lack of interest. Nothing feels better than walking on the street with a woman, and she grabs my hand. It's awesome. Just do it. It will take some time for it to feel natural, but with effort that can change.

He doesn't know that I become more affectionate as time goes on, but maybe I should tell him next time I see him?

This is a good idea. He is probably thinking right now... this woman is going to be like this forever, she is not going to be affectionate. You can remove that doubt from his mind by simply telling him it takes you a bit more time to open up fully, but it will happen.

no concrete plans to meet again which makes me think maybe he wanted more affection from me

Probably, so why don't you try this. Reach out to him, tell him you'd like to see him, and ask him when he's free.

tips on how to initiate it

Something simple like a text message with hey, how's your day going? blablalba listen I had a great time the other day, I'd like to see you again... it doesn't have to be super complicated, don't overthink this.

MajorLeagueMagick · 2016-09-24T15:00:15+00:00

He might not like being touched in public, or be more nervous in public. I would wager you might be more nervous in public if you have anxiety with affection. If you are comfortable with it you should just stick with dates that are simple and at each other's houses.

Willow-girl · 2016-09-24T18:30:41+00:00

You know, if a relationship is this much work only two months in, is it worth it? Maybe it's just a mismatch. Find someone who is more on your wavelength?

I mean, it would be OK for a guy to suggest that he'd like you to be more demonstrative. But when you do so, and he pulls back, that's kind of weird! Way too complicated for my taste, but your mileage may vary.

Mentathiel · 2016-09-26T18:42:28+00:00

who is from the Mediterranean

We're very touchy people. We hug, kiss on cheeks, playfully punch, put our arms around etc. even with friends all the time. It's completely normal to show affection in public, from holding hands, putting your arm around someone, kissing, even making out isn't rare. So this may be a cultural barrier.

That being said, men sometimes don't like too much public affection, as it emasculates them.

Also, it sounds like your SO is rejecting your affection because you're being so anxious about it and overthinking it. Physical affection comes naturally. If you're doing it because "you should" it probably shows and that probably puts him off and makes him uncomfortable. So don't worry about being rejected, if you force yourself to do it eventually you'll relax and he'll stop reacting like that. I wouldn't take that as rejection of affection at all, but as rejection of doing it to please him, even although you feel uncomfortable. Which actually means his rejection is a sign of care, not the other way around.

And yes, this is an important issue that can affect your relationship and his opinion of you and you should work on it.

Title	Advice on affection please
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	5
Date	September 24, 2016 11:11 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/549pj7/advice_on_affection_please/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/advice-on-affection-please.166945 https://theredarchive.com/post/166945

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