Advice on converting dates

SeaMuted9754 · 2025-01-09T12:27:38+00:00

Personally to prevent myself from getting hurt I make sure they love me. I don’t have sex with anyone I don’t love. Obviously don’t tell them that but just say you need to have a strong connection before you go further.

Second I get their perspective on abortion and what they would do if an accident occurred. This normally gets me ghosted but that’s the point in vetting. If this situation is too “real” for them then they’re not for me.

Third get really good at bed time activities. No guy is leaving if they are satisfied. This is optional but it doesn’t hurt to put some effort here.

For transparency I’ve never had a man leave me after our first night but I think it’s because of ground work I lay down.

Jenneapolis · 2025-01-09T17:25:28+00:00

Saying that you’re not going to communicate your desires for a relationship because he could lie to you anyway is not a good strategy. You can only control what you can do and that is to be upfront about what you are looking for. Yes he could still lie, yes he could play the long game to sleep with you and then leave, but at least you would know you did everything YOU could to give yourself the best fighting chance. Playing the cool girl never works out well.

Remember, when you talk about your goals, you are talking about YOUR goals, not what you want from him, so if you say, you are looking for a relationship, you just say that, you don’t say you are looking for a relationship from him because you truly don’t know yet if you are. I usually phrase it as something like “I’m looking for a long term relationship, I don’t do the casual thing.” Put it out there as a statement about who you are. And then just let your actions back that up.

Nerdslayer2 · 2025-01-09T17:43:14+00:00

It can be hard to tell if a guy just wants to have sex with you based on what he says and how he treats you. The best way to know is talking to other people who know him, especially men who aren't close friends with him. Guys almost always know whether another guy is a horn dog who just likes to bang girls. You aren't going to always know a lot of people who know the guy though.

Another good way to tell is to look at his personality and lifestyle. Does he value excitement and pleasure in life, or comfort and stability? The odds that an outgoing guy who constantly going to bars and drinking a ton is just trying to bang you are high. The odds that an introverted guy who doesn't go out a ton is just trying to bang you is lower.

RedPillDad · 2025-01-09T16:27:01+00:00

judge genuineness in the guy's behavior

Not easy. The genuine guys tend to be dull and predictable. The bad boys offer more excitement. Game is about spinning a playful illusion and stoking desire. Women tend to judge 'real' by the intensity of their feels (chemistry), and guys with seductive competency are the ones who glaringly stand far above the others. They seem to be the superior choice.

Some guys will bounce right after sexual conquest. "Shock ghosting' is an accurate description. Wouldn't matter how you acted, that was always his intention.

Some guys run rosters, and women are willing to have a piece of a top-tier guy rather than have all of a lesser man. Stuck at situationship.

Some guys play serial monogamy, being the best relationship of your life for 2-3 months before they move on to another target. Widow makers.

OP, your Military Man might be a catch. Does he get deployed for extended periods? If so, your loyalty could be tested.

AutoModerator · 2025-01-09T10:22:04+00:00

Title: Advice on converting dates

Author lilseastar

Full text: Hi all. Looking for some advice about getting back into dating. I (22F) have started seeing a military guy (26M). For reference we're both in the UK. I read the RPW guide to the early stage of dating and my strategy is very much to try not to over invest but continue to vet. Previously in dating I've found it really difficult to vet as everything has looked and felt 'right' such as multiple high effort dates, bringing me small gifts, thoughtful communication etc and then shock ghostings have come out of nowhere have knocked my confidence. I'm now at the point where I wouldn't really care about being ghosted and would be thankful to have dodged a bullet, however this experience has impacted my confidence in my ability to judge genuineness in the guy's behaviour. I'm really worried that if I communicate my standards and that I'm looking for a relationship he could just lie to sleep with me anyway and use the classic "I can't give you that" later. We had one great date and seeing him again this weekend for dinner and drinks with some texting in between. How should I approach this as a nervous newcomer to RP dating to try to convert to longer term commitment?

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Hot_Blacksmith_3404 · 2025-01-09T14:53:28+00:00

You’ve only had one great date. You should NOT be trying to get him to commit yet. That would be such a red flag - he doesn’t even know you yet. You don’t even know him yet. You don’t know if you want to commit to him yet, or if you want him to commit to you. He is still a stranger at this point. Keep going on dates as long as he continues to seem great, if by month 3 things haven’t progressed to commitment but everything is great and you want to establish a relationship with him, then consider bringing it up. But this is way, way too early to be thinking about this. Take the next couple months to yes have fun but stay detached, keep vetting constantly, and stay open to dating others until he asks to be exclusive. Do not sleep with him until you are exclusive.

Title	Advice on converting dates
Author	lilseastar
Upvotes	10
Comments	12
Date	January 9, 2025 10:22 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1hx9u3q/advice_on_converting_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/advice-on-converting-dates.1540732 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540732

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