Attitude readjust

oldladyname · 2019-10-28T04:49:07+00:00

He's a hypocrite. Don't let this stand.

vintagegirlgame · 2019-10-28T09:09:45+00:00

Are you actually bothered by the fact that he has a female massage therapist? Or are you mostly bothered by the double standard? If he didn’t have any issues about the gender of your healthcare professionals, would you also not have issues? Or would you still prefer he not work w females?

People are different and have different boundaries. It doesn’t always work like a scoreboard. We can ask someone to respect our boundaries, and we can offer to honor the same for them. But there are sometimes where we go out of our way to help another person w boundaries that we don’t really need to enforce for ourselves.

If the boundary is to mask an insecurity, it’s important to work on the insecurity as well. If he’s jealous or mistrustful of you alone w another male, that’s something that will need to be worked on by both of you to get to the root of the insecurity. If he’s just very conservative/traditional w gender boundaries in all situations, that’s maybe more understandable.

Also while I understand how some men feel about massage therapists and OBGYNs, but to say no to ALL male doctors is overkill.

melitele3 · 2019-10-28T01:48:08+00:00

I do not think you are being petty. He really is a hypocrite if what you wrote here is the case.

He seems to be trying to “secure” you, so that you don’t have a possibility of cheating or being alone with other males (I don’t know what his motives are but I guess it is jealousy).

He had a female doing massage on him, she complimented him and he TOLD YOU - i think he wants you to be jealous and see that he desired by others. I don’t really know why is he doing that...

Nevertheless you I feel you should drill this and discuss it with him and make sure this isn’t okay for you and you won’t tolerate this hypocrisy. Either he stops having a female massages or you are allowed to have a male doing your massage - that is my take on that.

Ragingdollface · 2019-10-28T06:17:59+00:00

It seems like a double standard because it is. He's treating you like property.. and some people are into that, but it sounds like you didn't sign up for that and he's taking it to extreme levels by playing with your emotions and complicating your ability to see doctors easily.

szsunshine · 2019-10-28T18:26:06+00:00

Did you ever tell him that being with a woman....therapist, doctor, etc. would make you uncomfortable? If not, then you need to make this clear. If he had the "no men" standard and you just assumed it worked both ways without speaking....he could easily assume that women professionals didn't bother you.

You might try asking him what he would think if you told him that seeing a woman massage therapist made you feel like he felt about you seeing a male. Does he think his discomfort is silly now, since he realizes that no hanky panky is going on? What would make it different? Does he not trust men? Or not trust you? (possible that he thinks that men are a bunch of pervs, himself excluded of course, but that women can be trusted to act like professionals. A misguided view, but he could have felt he was "protecting" you from the big bad sex-fiend men of the world).

I would never have been with a guy who made those demands, because I would not want my healthcare to be limited by someone else's hangups (unless they were religious, but my religion doesn't make those restrictions). If you feel like you have gotten second rate care because of his lack of comfort with male professionals, now is the time to tell him that the deal is off and you will be seeing the doctors that you always wanted to see.

enzoastoria · 2019-10-28T16:05:59+00:00

One....he sounds like a hypocrite and is very insecure. Two......sounds like he was trying to make u jealous by going on and on about it and saying that she looked at his abs. Don’t take this shit. Speak up

Title	Attitude readjust
Author	rawkjawk
Upvotes	23
Comments	7
Date	October 28, 2019 1:24 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/do25bo/attitude_readjust/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/attitude-readjust.293022 https://theredarchive.com/post/293022

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