Cannot find most guy attractive due to hypergamy, my father and my secluded lifestyle.

TranslatedSky · 2023-05-20T06:38:49+00:00

Figure out what specifically you like about someone which makes them strong and powerful in your eyes. Is it financially ability? Being revered and respected by others? Being competent in their job? Or is it high status?

Men with power come with their own quirks. I personally don’t like dating men with power as I’m ambitious myself and they tend to prefer subservient women.

Personally I believe attraction and respect is something that can be worked on within yourself, as long as there is a bit of attraction. In your shoes I’d probably pick someone who likes me for me, comes from a decent background to match my standing, and isn’t trying to use me as a pawn to curry favour with my father.

Depending on which aspect of power attracts you, power can always be built and attained especially with a woman’s support. In my view, attraction is also something that can be built and acquired with time. But you can’t change someone’s character, and you also can’t convince someone to treat you honestly and well.

ArkNemesis00 · 2023-05-20T14:00:31+00:00

I think you need to sit down and have a talk with your partners about this, particularly your mother. They're the best resource you have for finding the kind of man you want, and they'll likely be eager to help you find a suitable match.

A matchmaker is an option, but they can only pull from existing clients or try to find someone on the street who matches the description you give them. They likely will struggle to find the "old money" kind of match you're looking for. It doesn't hurt to throw your hat in the ring, but I would brace yourself for a small amount of dates.

Online dating is probably not going to work if you're not having luck at a (presumably) prestigious private university. Do you have female friends around your age that might have connections? Could you join a country club or some place where your social class regularly hangs out? Even if it's not quite the right age range, it'll be good for you to meet more people. You never know who might have an eligible nephew or cousin or something.

brushshstrokes · 2023-05-20T19:23:30+00:00

Please don't lose your virginity to him. Once that's gone you can't get it back.

BePrivateGirl · 2023-05-20T09:25:53+00:00

You are not using the word “hypergamy” correctly. That’s okay.

Your life is very different than mine.

I’ve had many many sexual partners. And I’m not sorry about it.

I am much more attracted to personality. I notice men’s personality much faster than I notice muscles. It’s because I’m a woman. Women are emotional. Men are visual. This is very simplistic. But…it sounds like your family is wealthy. It sounds like you have high social status.

Because of your wealth and status, it will be difficult to you to advocate that you love an ugly, unattractive, poor man.

Although philosophically that ugly poor man could be awesome, you need to maintain appearances. Your husband needs to “look good” to all the other elite people in your life that will judge you.

I encourage you to be emotional.

If we consider “The Mine Owner” as a husband it sounds like you are interested, but he’s not visually attractive according to others. BUT!! He doesn’t want a serious relationship. And you are a virgin. This matters. It’s important.

Stop thinking about him because he doesn’t want a relationship. Not because he’s unattractive.

You should seek the advice of your father and your peers about whether the man you like is a good man, not whether or not he photographs well, or is attractive.

I’m glad you’ve been in beauty pageants. But I’m more concerned with your happiness.

Follow your emotions, instead of beauty. But don’t follow your emotions towards an unfaithful man.

CompetitiveBaker384 · 2023-05-20T18:58:08+00:00

Sounds like you want to suck off your dad. Why are you comparing other men to him? Also sounds like you don’t even know what you find attractive but you mostly just want a man who will be your new father and shelter you just like he did.

I think you need take the initiative to get out of the bubble you were raised in.

AutoModerator · 2023-05-20T06:20:41+00:00

Title: Cannot find most guy attractive due to hypergamy, my father and my secluded lifestyle.

Full text: I'm 22F , my father is a very powerful man. He has one of the top most government position in my country. Which means altho he is powerful, we aren't "rich". I have grown up a very privileged and protected lifestyle, have had drivers since I was a kid. My parents are very protective and so are my drivers who are like my uncles to me.

I was enrolled in a girls only school and then I was in a college which had a very mixed crowd. And most of the guys I interacted were (sorry to say this) but below in terms economically or social class. So I never felt attracted to them. Most guys are also scared of my father. One of the girls in my class told me that even tho guys in the class liked me they rejected themselves and because they thought I would reject them. Which is true.

My family is very introverted and do not go out for parties unless their work really demands it. So i never got to mix within my own circle.

At the same time when I go on dates with lawyers they almost always want to meet my father for favors and stuff. I'm very generous with my friends but I long for a generous man with whom I can feel safe with. I want to admire a man for being strong and powerful. But because my father has set such a high standard that it is very difficult to find a man who I deem strong and powerful.

I met this guy and I was so insanely attracted. He was so powerful in my eyes. He was a mine owner. To me he was very good looking and handsome but all of my friends (guys and girls) found him very unattractive. The thing is he did not want anything serious and only wanted something casual. I obviously ended things with him. Im a virgin and want my first to be meaningful.He knows that sex is off the table because I said he won't get any. And was fine with just making out. Still I left. But then I'm starting to doubt if I will ever fall in love with a guy because of this. It's very difficult to even like a guy due to hypergamy. To the point I was thinking of still continuing things with him.

To describe my appearance I have been in beauty pageants. I'm not stunningly beautiful but I am sweetly beautiful. And most guys describe me as innocent looking. Which I am. I'm very sheltered.

What should I do? Should I settle for guys who I don't feel attracted to ( I'm not attracted to physical appearance, more to the feeling of a guy being strong, powerful. And this feeling I can't find with a guy who has less than me). Or should I change my strategy?

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Qu4sW3xExort · 2023-05-20T11:55:43+00:00

Try to find, accept and be content with someone has ambition to reach higher status then you are. It's possibly easiest and most sure way of doing it.

Guru2997 · 2023-05-21T04:40:25+00:00

I read all comments in this post . Are you Indian ? Then no need to worry a lot .Because your father is minister then just ask marriage . He will find suitable partner for you . Your attractiveness towards males only depends on wealth and status right ? Then surely you find the guy attractive one who selected by your father . Because Indian parents always seek groom in their social status or higher . But if you look in height , facial attributes , confident personality , caring in nature , loyalty , sense of humour .Then you can find some points maybe in the groom they find , but some things maybe miss . I mention confidence that because all high status , wealthy guys are not start their carrier from scratch . Lot of males born rich just like your ex-bf . The man one who start from scratch and fail a lot have such a confidence that you cannot find in born rich male . But the problem here is that confidence males are very busy in building carrier just like your father did in his early days of life. They are in lower status as compared to you now .

Simple example : Just think they guy one who will get your father's minister position in 2040 .I said this because you said your father have attractive status and you want that from hubby .They guy one who will get that position in 2040 is now very very low status compared to you . So you need to differentiate High status with moderate strong personalities or high strong personalities with low status ( maybe he attain high status later but not sure how much status ).Choose guy depends on that .

Title	Cannot find most guy attractive due to hypergamy, my father and my secluded lifestyle.
Author	GreenProfessional515
Upvotes	1
Comments	25
Date	May 20, 2023 6:20 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/13mjxcr/cannot_find_most_guy_attractive_due_to_hypergamy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/cannot-find-most-guy-attractive-due-to-hypergamy.1219809 https://theredarchive.com/post/1219809

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