Does it ever fade?

HB3234 · 2020-03-29T16:58:41+00:00

No, unhealthy fixations tend not to vanish over time. You need to take proactive actions against them, like therapy and building your self respect.

amadexodus · 2020-03-30T18:47:43+00:00

I lost my virginity a few years after straying from my faith (I was raised Catholic). Not only have I not had sex since then, I recommitted to being a Christian a little over a year ago and my faith is stronger than ever. Allow me to offer my thoughts from a Christian but non-judgmental perspective. If you're not religious/Christian, oops, hopefully my input can help any women who are in your position and are religious.

I'm still learning how to reconcile certain harm that has come from Christian purity culture with my worldview that protecting myself by confining sex to a committed relationship (particularly marriage) is the safest and healthiest choice for me. I am convinced that male and female sexuality are both beautiful and awesome and given to us by God. There is a place for embracing sexuality and using it for good. I'm still learning about what God has to say about it -- read Song of Solomon and you'll understand that He gets it, He wants you to blossom and attract the opposite sex, and He wants you to share that sexual part of yourself in the context of love with the right person. Don't let this regret stop you from doing that!

I also know that God loves you and is not on the side of anybody who uses purity culture/slut-shaming to put you down. God especially would not want your husband to treat you with contempt just because he's not your first/only. You are asked to love your neighbor as yourself. Why treat yourself worse than you would treat a fellow woman by letting these negative thoughts cloud your mind? Jesus imparted to us, "Go and sin no more" so that we would learn from our mistakes and not dwell on them, as though his sacrifice were futile. He didn't say, "Reflect upon all your past sins every single day" or anything to that effect.

Feel free to disregard this if you're not religious, btw. I'm not trying to convert anybody.

CountryOnWater · 2020-03-30T00:08:55+00:00

It’s very dangerous to marry with 0 sexual experience. Sexuality is not so you deprive yourself from, it’s important.

Unless you’re religious, you shouldn’t worry about losing your virginity before being with a husband (who you may even divorce, that’s half of all marriages)

The concept of losing your virginity has no scientific basis, it gets a murky definition depending on your sexuality. If you classify it as penetration then are lesbians forever virgins?

Or do they lose their virginity when they finger each other? If so then haven’t you lost it when you first fingered yourself or does it need someone else’s hand? It’s a little absurd this idea

Seriously, the concept of virginity is non existent nor of any value.

Love the one you want to be with and focus on growing with them

YEAHbunsNthighs · 2020-03-29T23:07:00+00:00

It does, IF you let it. Accept what you did, learn from it, and use the knowledge you gained and apply it to your dating life. Move on from your mistake and don't sleep around with anyone that isn't your husband. Make that clear to anyone that you're dating. Good luck! You will get over that feeling. I finally moved on from it.

2020-04-02T13:53:33+00:00

I feel this way sometimes as a girl who has "done it all" I wonder if I've given away all my firsts and lost opportunities to bond with a serious partner over trying something new together.

I also that I be disappointing them if they find out I'm much more sexually experienced than they are

toreliza · 2020-04-04T12:37:43+00:00

I had a friend who would say “virginity is overrated” It made us all feel better about our bad choices. All you can do is learn from your mistakes and move on. And yes, it will fade but probably won’t ever go away. Learn to live with it. You can’t go back now.

Title	Does it ever fade?
Author	acceptable_runx
Upvotes	4
Comments	12
Date	March 29, 2020 4:29 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/fr8kfc/does_it_ever_fade/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/does-it-ever-fade.358364 https://theredarchive.com/post/358364

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