Nearly all of the members of the school's I've attended hold feminist values, and from my birth to some time ago, I've adopted the "hehe masculinity=power, women don't need men" mentality. At a young age, I cussed to get my anger out and in my entire family, makeup is an absolute no-no.

My previous personality has lowered my social skills and reputation, bringing me to a situation where I am constantly patronized by my peers and not treated seriously (high pitched voices saying, 'you're so cute!!'), which contribute to me being afraid of speaking seriously because I know it will get laughed off.

I would also like to note that I am on the ASD spectrum but I would not like to use that as an excuse because of all of the success stories the I have heard. However, this was another thing that hindered my likability and conversational/social skills. I do not have any friends and I always seem to attract the clingy and overdependent babies and I don't know why.

Of course, I have also noted that appearance is important. Unfortunately, I have no sense of fashion due to being at a school with uniforms along with being put into a "save money" mindset at a young age. In addition, like I said before, makeup is an absolute no-no in my household. However, I can say that my hygiene is decent (shower every day, treat hair well, don't wear wrinkled clothing, brush teeth twice a day + mouthwash, even flossing frequently).

I currently highly regret everything I've done in the previous years but I feel as if it is impossible for me to change what I have been doing for my entire life (especially as I have been going to school with the same people for many years). I have the summer to possibly fix this and hope that I can renew myself next year, so what are some first steps in order to do this?