Found a great guy...Can physical attraction and chemistry grow?

countrylemon · 2024-04-17T00:16:46+00:00

You’re attracted to him already so chemistry and sexual attraction can grow, though it’s not guaranteed. Some people need a deeper connection before a sexual attraction begins.

arhat being said if you find yourself getting unmotivated and disinterested then absolutely pump the brakes and move on.

4 Dates? If it’s going well give it a couple more and reflect on how you feel then.

_MarianaTrench · 2024-04-17T05:51:36+00:00

as I am growing older I really think “growing” into love is better than instant chemistry which won’t last very long and toy with your brain in making such an important decision, when we fall in love we easily ignore a person’s red flag, love is overrated imo. You can still create a meaningful relationship with someone overtime if they check all your boxes.

RedPillDad · 2024-04-17T13:48:03+00:00

Why is it OP found a "really great guy" and she's not as attracted to him? This isn't unusual. Women are very attuned to social and dominance hierarchy. They aren't as attracted to guys with perceived lower levels of status and power.

Women love 'assholes' who don't treat them so nicely. Why? While nice guys lower their status by being attentive and nice, assholes elevate their status by being more arrogant, aloof and disagreeable. This happens on an unconscious level. A woman will feel that nice guys are beneath her while assholes are above her, and her desire is triggered by those she feels are above her.

With social media, women get bombarded by simp-style attention, artificially boosting their perceived market value and training their brains to reject 'Nice Guy' behavior. When a thirsty simp pedestalizes her, she accepts the validation boost but has zero respect or attraction for him. When a decent guy treats her well, he might not elicit that same instant 'ick' from her, but she puts him into the same category and won't be feeling the tingles/butterflies/chemistry she requires to consider him a viable partner.

When a woman makes sexual desire her primary mate selection criteria, things may not end well for her. A guy has a similar problem when he chooses a woman's hotness as his primary selection criteria, making questionable choices in mate selection.

A woman's desire often directly corelates to a man's seductive game. His seductive confidence and competence stoke her desire. I'm not just talking about pump & dump players, but genuine lovers who make deep connections. The thing is, a great lover isn't necessarily the same as a high value man.

Relationships based on desire are like crack cocaine. The high is temporary and it's hard to settle for less once you've indulged. Love-based relationships are more a sustainable slow burn rather than an intense flame.

OP, the challenge for you is to diminish the value of desire in your mate selection criteria.

NationalMouse · 2024-04-17T01:25:24+00:00

Honestly if he checks every box - good provider, good husband, good looking - sex is the last thing on my list. He’ll think it’s good no matter what and you can always grow to associate love with desire.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2024-04-17T03:39:16+00:00

the men I was very strongly attracted to ended up being unreliable idiot duds

This is a self sabotaging thing people do, it’s not a coincidence.

You aren’t attracted to men who happen to be unrealible duds, you are attracted to specifically unreliable duds because they are unavailable and “safe” in terms of you not getting hurt. If the guy sucked to begin with, no harm when he leaves!

You need to do some internal work to fix this.

rosie00x · 2024-04-16T19:25:49+00:00

For how long have you been dating?

Healthy-Collection54 · 2024-04-18T23:25:02+00:00

Anyone looking for a long term relationship needs to know this: there will be times where YOU don’t feel attracted to him, and likely times HE isn’t attracted to you.

Hubby was always crazy about me..until I was visibly pregnant, when he got uncomfortable/ wasn’t interested in sex. Everything went back to normal until about 18mths ago, when medications I was on totally depleted my sex drive.

Periods of sexual disconnection are likely in a long term relationship. For better and for worse! Pleasing a partner is a skill, and skills can always be improved upon 😏

AutoModerator · 2024-04-16T17:29:03+00:00

Title: Found a great guy...Can physical attraction and chemistry grow?

Author kroshkamoya

Full text: So I finally found a really great guy. He's communicative, texts daily, takes me on dates, pays for the dates, drives to see me, is considerate etc....My issue is I'm around 50% physically attracted to him. He's a great looking guy. But sexual chemistry is so hard for me sometimes. And 80% of men I meet, I never become attracted to them.

I don't want to jump his bones, so to speak. The men I was very strongly attracted to ended up being unreliable idiot duds.

Have any of you ladies stayed with a man because he was a good provider, good husband, good father material? Even if the sexual chemistry wasn't fully there?

Is this normal? What should I do? Can it grow?

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bitchyblondie1 · 2024-04-17T05:14:07+00:00

Following, in the same boat

AutoModerator · 2024-12-23T22:53:06+00:00

Title: Found a great guy...Can physical attraction and chemistry grow?

Author kroshkamoya

Full text: bhjv

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Thank you for posting to RPW. Here are a couple reminders:

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1988110m · 2024-04-16T23:15:18+00:00

I’m in the exact same situation, with the exact same kind of guy. It’s been around 7/8 dates over 2 months for me. Because he has such great qualities I wanted to see if my attraction could grow, and last week after making out and cuddling a bit, I realised that the physical/sexual chemistry actually decreased, especially since he’s not sexually experienced and the entire experience was awkward and not enjoyable for me.

That, along with a ton of other smaller reasons, led me to conclude that I didn’t want to lead him on and that the attraction would not grow. I’m going to end it this week.

Title	Found a great guy...Can physical attraction and chemistry grow?
Author	kroshkamoya
Upvotes	19
Comments	29
Date	April 16, 2024 5:29 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1c5ly6h/found_a_great_guycan_physical_attraction_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/found-a-great-guycan-physical-attraction-and.1515328 https://theredarchive.com/post/1515328

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