How to support grieving men?

Wife_and_Mama · 2023-03-03T13:17:14+00:00

The most important thing here, is that you continue to support him the way he needs, not the way you would need or the way you think he should need. I would wager that when my father-in-law dies, I won't see my husband for a month, because he'll be working in the yard non-stop. That's how he processes grief. He won't cry. He won't talk about it. He'll work and it'll be my job to respect that.

Only you can know if what you're doing is enough, but you've approached it the way you have for a reason. It sounds like you're fighting the urge to smother him with love and affection the way you think he should want. I would suggest you keep doing what you're doing. Cook for him. Spend time with him if and how he wants. Continue to be there for him, as needed.

Your loneliness is understandable, but you're right not to pester him with it. See if you can pick up an old hobby, binge watch a TV show he wouldn't like, or get lunch with a friend. I'm sure his distance will pass.

RStonePT · 2023-03-03T15:11:18+00:00

How do we support our men when they are grieving?

Leave him alone. Bring him some food if you wanna help, but leave him alone.

Sea-Cow4216 · 2023-03-03T18:09:54+00:00

Follow his lead. When my husband lost his grandfather he got quiet. And that's okay. We can just be quiet together.

Thiccsmartie · 2023-03-04T07:00:09+00:00

I am astonished no one mentions the most obvious. Ask: what do you need (or not need) right now? If he needs space and time be himself he should tell you and you should the accept and respect it. This is called healthy communication. This is a 5-10 min talk and then your and potentially his concerns are cared for. Else you are just playing a guessing game.

worldlysentiments · 2023-03-03T21:46:04+00:00

I’m addressing the comment on here that “men don’t grieve” that someone made; just inherently false. I understand they have a specific faith based mindset regarding that but it’s simply not true from a science standpoint. They can call it “contemplation” but it’s grief. Anyway- I think the best way to help anyone is to keep a sense of normalcy. Nobody likes to be reminded that stuff is heavy. Don’t be overly like in their face about the fact theyre grieving. A simple look sometimes with your eyes when he wants to go “be alone” can tell him you support him. Second, simple things like making sure the bathroom is stocked for them with towels, and their clothes are folded, things that they don’t really need to think about while they go through their day while sad. Worst feeling is having to fight to find something to wear when you’re wigged out or needing a clean towel to shower after a long day.

You could set the atmosphere to be very calming when he comes home; bake some cookies so the smell is around. Light a candle with a gentle smell. Make sure the blinding kitchen lights are not at full speed if he comes home after 5pm. Small things.

Do you have any friends or family you can talk about your day with to get the jitters out until he’s ready to resume normal life? You could journal? Pick a show to binge for next weeks.

AutoModerator · 2023-03-03T11:25:59+00:00

Title: How to support grieving men?

Full text: Hello ladies! (Posting from my alt for privacy.)

How do we support our men when they are grieving? My boyfriend just lost a grandparent who he was close with. He’s been handling it well outwardly, and it’s important to him to maintain strength. I’ve given him space, cooked him his favorite meals, and have been trying to anticipate his needs. I’m here for him if he wants to talk, but I won’t pressure him into talking about his feelings.

I feel like there’s more I can be doing, and I also want to avoid making him feel weak by “over-caring.” What are your thoughts?

Also, I’m feeling lonely during this time. I haven’t expressed it because it feels very selfish, but I miss spending time together and having intimate moments (not just sex, but I miss that too). It’s not been that long, so I’m not worried yet. But it is sometimes hard to maintain a positive mindset - any advice or words of encouragement there are also appreciated. Thank you all!

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muslimah-abroad0 · 2023-03-03T15:15:25+00:00

The biggest lie women believe due to leftist "the sexes are the same" is that men feel emotion like women do. They do not.

Women who are in grief tend to make it all about themselves which is why they cry and demand "support" from their friends and husbands.

Men understand death not as a personal thing but as a philosophical thing, hence the silent contemplativeness, continued productivity, the stoicism.

The idea that he's grieving is ludicrous. He's contemplating. In Islam, women aren't permitted at funerals for this reason.

Women grieve. Men contemplate.

Were you to comfort him like you would a woman, you'd disrespect him by showing that you think him effeminate.

700horses · 2023-03-03T22:42:36+00:00

Give him space, but be on-call and available for when he reaches out.

ironsoul99 · 2023-03-03T23:26:55+00:00

It’s really, really hard. Sometimes they don’t want to talk and it can feel like you’re out of the loop. They don’t want to be babied, even if that’s how a lot of us want to show that we care. Don’t pry, and meet them where they’re at. Provide soft touch, a pat on the shoulder as you walk by, a squeeze of the hand, and a kiss on the cheek. He will know what you mean by it. It does get lonely, but it will get better in time. It is best to leave him alone, and he will come to you when ready.

Title	How to support grieving men?
Author	grapejuiceexpert
Upvotes	35
Comments	13
Date	March 3, 2023 11:25 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/11gyb0z/how_to_support_grieving_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-support-grieving-men.1154648 https://theredarchive.com/post/1154648

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