I'd rather not go into too much filler details, but we're both 22 and currently it's a long distance relationship. We started off as friends then developed feelings, and this gave me the chance to learn more about the importance of communication and not acting passive aggressive. I do make an effort in communicating how I feel, why I feel it and what I would have rather be done.

However, I feel like at some point this communication is wearing me off. I don't expect my partner to read my mind, but I'm also not in a relationship with myself. I don't find the value in asking him almost everyday "give me attention" or "I would like some extra gestures of care today" in events when it's obvious I need that extra care. Examples would be like, me mentioning I'm having a bad day mental health wise and he'd just say "what would you like me to do to make you feel better", which I know sounds reasonable but again I'm not in a relationship with myself I can't have the energy to decide for him what to do or say. Another example would be when my grandmother passed away and again he'd only say stuff like "what should I do to make you feel better", instead of him taking any action on his behalf as a person who loves me.

Sometimes I confront him about not showing care and he'd say stuff like he's probably going through hardships too, but isn't it partially his fault for not choosing to communicate that with me and therefore making me have different expectation?

I would really appreciate about your opinion on my idea of communication, wether his replies are normal and I'm overreacting to them or are they a sign of neglect?