Tips on ensuring physical boundaries and saving yourself?

Cosima_Fan_Tutte · 2024-02-29T16:20:13+00:00

In the short term, you could see him only in public places and avoid being alone with him.

In the long term (like next 12 months), is there a plan for vetting/timeline for marriage?

Wife_and_Mama · 2024-02-29T21:31:09+00:00

You can't have sex at an arts festival/zoo/street fair/mini golf course... at least not easily.

I grew up with a lot of people who waited until marriage. I won't say all of the relationships worked out well, but some did. They almost always fell into two categories. Some did everything but intercourse and the others led to marriage very quickly. Your best bet, in my opinion, is to avoid being alone together for long, until you're married. There's a reason certain religions, who emphasize abstinence, do everything they can to prevent this.

Ad_Inferno · 2024-02-29T18:40:34+00:00

I think both of you keeping open lines of communication and agreeing on rules you can both stick to and hold the other accountable to is really the #1 thing. I too was quite religious when I was younger, so I can definitely relate to what you're experiencing right now, by the way.

My ex-boyfriend and I dated for a little over three years (high school into college, which is why we didn't get married or engaged in that time), and while initially I thought I was committed to saving myself for marriage (which he fully agreed to and never questioned or pushed me on), after about 2 and a half years I told him (in the heat of the moment, admittedly) that I wanted to take things all the way. His requirements in response were 1) me getting on birth control and 2) that after I was, we would discuss it again and take it slow. He wanted me to think about it and be sure before we took it any further. As a result I have never regretted it for a second.

Now, all that said, you're still in the very early stages of an exclusive relationship, and for a lot of us, the urges to get physical are very strong at that point. I would say be mindful about what is lust and is going to get in the way of building the kind of connection you really want with this man and what is going to support the building of that connection. Only the two of you can come up with a playbook that fits the relationship you want to have, but whatever you decide to do and whatever boundaries you draw or rules you create, use that principle of building a strong connection as your guidepost for what is best for the two of you and you'll set yourselves up for success.

AutoModerator · 2024-02-28T19:17:14+00:00

Title: Tips on ensuring physical boundaries and saving yourself?

Author stellaok

Full text: I feel slightly ashamed to be posting this but I’m hoping I find some women who understand this. I’m 24 and I have practiced abstinence all of my life for personal reasons and may I say religious. I’m going through my first ever relationship with a guy who is very understanding and respectful and does not pressure me into anything neither physically or emotionally. we talked about intimacy and I said I’d like to save myself for marriage which he was on boards with. It’s been almost 3 months of dating and we decided that its official snd exclusive at this point and we’re reaching the point of it becoming more physical. I personally do not want to get myself into a position that I’d regret, And I still want to safe myself up for marriage or as long as possible. But I can’t deny my own hormones and it being my first time is making me very curious and excited to experience a physical connection. How do I keep myself on track when it comes to physical stuff without getting side tracked and lost in the moment? He doesnt pressure of rush me into things but I’m worried that I will

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Equivalent-Ad5449 · 2024-02-29T19:34:31+00:00

Don’t do anything. Where this fails as people adopt are some/everything except sex mindset. Get carried away keep moving boundaries etc

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zaftig_stig · 2024-03-01T07:14:54+00:00

I get this. I started dating again for the first time in almost 30 years and have also decided to abstain until marriage again.

I didn’t know where to draw the line though. We broke up and remained friends. Ultimately we weren’t a good fit for each other’s lifestyles.

I finally realized only a couple of months ago, that I most likely won’t be able to remain friends with him when I’m in a relationship. I feel like that would disrespectful to the current partner.

So now I have a new perspective going into a relationship. Friends first, physical second. If I want to keep that person in my life for the long term but we’re not going to work out romantically, then I’m going to be a lot more conservative physically speaking.

That isn’t going to be easy, but I’m trying to keep the bigger picture in mind.

Title	Tips on ensuring physical boundaries and saving yourself?
Author	stellaok
Upvotes	8
Comments	9
Date	February 28, 2024 7:17 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1b2emro/tips_on_ensuring_physical_boundaries_and_saving/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/tips-on-ensuring-physical-boundaries-and-saving.1246687 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246687

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