hi girls! I found this sub a few weeks now and I’m so glad I did, I’ve finally decided to ask for some advice. My boyfriend (26M) and I (26F) have been together for 4 years, we even moved together a year ago and everything was very, very nice until last may. He got overwhelmed and asked for a break, which was completely blindsided. I definitely took it personally and acted in a childish way, I apologised once I noticed.

We have been seeing each other almost weekly during this time, and he often tells me how I am “the light of his life”, how much he loves me, and how attracted he is to me, but is reluctant to fix this relationship and bring back the commitment. He said he wasn’t happy living with me and the possibility of being in that situation again scares him. I wasn’t the best version of myself during that time, I complained a lot, was very stressed about work, and I may have been a bit clingy too. I definitely felt my needs weren’t being met, but I can see now that I expected too much and I cannot put my whole life and happiness in a relationship. I’m in therapy now and things are getting better. He is a very independent man, so there was some sort of push-pull dynamic over there too.

I’ve told him we both had issues, bad communication and I strongly believe we could make it work, but he doesn’t seem to be ready.

I just don’t know what to do about it, I feel like I’m the one chasing him and it just doesn’t feel right. I recently read some parts of Laura Doyle’s book, I could really use some of her advice to build my own happiness and get my life together first. I feel so lost and I don’t know if I should wait for him, try to work things out by myself or get completely out of this situation that is bringing me a lot of pain (even if I don’t want to).

Do you think I could implement some of the knowledge in this sub to fix this? I love this man so much and I can see a future with him.

Thanks for your time :)