Looking for book recommendations

KatherineKelly · 2015-08-03T23:53:18+00:00

For me insecurity driven anxiety can make me snappish and rude.

An example was being short with my SO on Saturday because I was hosting an important dinner party and trying to do way to many things at once because insecurity turns me into a control freak, partly from having perfectionist issues driven by fear of failure. (people not having a good time/enjoying themselves or being critical of me in some way)

I'm already emotionally intense when I'm calm so crazy is just around the corner if I do not manage myself well. I have been journaling since my teens to help see the patterns and warning signs in my behavior and trying to step back and see myself clearly "before the storm hits" (anger)

It is catching myself before I fall into anger that makes the difference. Learning to see where my mind is going as it is going where it is going. A type of self monitoring. It has taken a lot of practice but I'm much more in tune with my emotions and much less ruled by them.

I did not stop being emotional because I would never give up my emotions. They are to important to me as a very deep source of information. My emotions keep me connected to everything.

My main interest were those potentially destructive emotions that come out of "negative thinking and fear" doing their destructive dance together.

I don't control my anger but use it to teach me about myself instead of going into anger and it teaching me nothing while taking over my life. Anger can be healthy when you are a victim of injustice so I do not see anger as always being bad. I step back to see if this is bad or good anger and than try to use it in proportion to the reason it is justified.

It is that panicky anger that seems to do the most damage in my life. That can turn me into a bitch and than later I hate myself for being one.

I'm also careful with blaming others for my bad behavior. Trying to justify my bad behavior by somehow saying they deserved it.

With myself and most of my girlfriends the anger seems to be either anxiety driven or we become angry from not being validated or taken seriously "because we are women". This can really set me off.

I have experienced some serious injustice as to how I have been treated by others in the past. Mainly family. What helped me was seeing why they were so hurtful ( the history that made them who they are). I did not forgive them their actions but I also did not punish myself by holding onto the resentment and anger.

I would have forgiven them if they had owned their behavior, taken responsibility and apologized but they are weak and will never do what is necessary to become healthy.

If you come out of a dysfunctional family read books on co-dependency. My mother is narcissistic so I have read books about daughters with narcissistic mothers.

Trying to understand the forces that have shaped you is the first step to escaping them when they are causing harm to you or others.

It has been true in my life that "The truth sets you free" Finding it and understanding it has been the hard part.

pxntmercy · 2015-08-04T14:22:18+00:00

Something that has really helped me is essential oils. After I had our child, I suffered from postpartum anxiety disorder and would occasionally have bouts of 'rage' that were very much hormone related. Essential oils and yoga helped me balance out tremendously. You can try lavender and clary sage on your wrists to help balance your hormones and mood. I use the Now brand and Mountain Rose Herbs.

I know that you were asking about literature, but I thought that maybe this might help address some of your concern.

cats_or_get_out · 2015-08-03T17:16:37+00:00

Here are my go to books:

The Enchiridion by Epictetus Meditations by Marcus Aurelius On Anger by Seneca

Thoughts of a Philosophical Fighter Pilot by James Stockdale Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl

The first three are available for free online, and The Enchiridion (fancy word for handbook) is pretty short. What I like to do is revisit little passages here and there, especially when I feel myself spooling up and getting irrationally emotional about something.

Failing that there's always the Bob Hart approach: http://youtu.be/Ow0lr63y4Mw

Title	Looking for book recommendations
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	11
Comments	6
Date	August 3, 2015 4:12 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3fmta4/looking_for_book_recommendations/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/looking-for-book-recommendations.85509 https://theredarchive.com/post/85509

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