Hello ladies, I need some help as I feel so lost….this might be a long post as I want to give you a fair background on my relationship, thank you in advance for reading!

I met my boyfriend in September 2020, I’ve been in a great place mentally, was working out and eating healthy, been binge and bulimia free for a few months…I’ve been single for years at that time, and was super keen on finding a boyfriend, wanted relationship and was excited for love and having a family in the future. We were both 29 when we met. He was not as open to the idea of a relationship…in fact in the beginning I cried a lot because he didn’t know if he wanted a relationship, as he had a trauma from past relationship which ended up with a divorce and a child he does see but pays alimony for. This was devastating to me, and it was very rocky…I fell in love and wanted to be with him, he wasn’t sure and didn’t want to meet that often:( we kept breaking up, coming back together, talk until 3am, I cried a lot…well we became a couple after some time. I felt horrible when we weren’t together, felt unloved and unwanted, but happy when we did see each other. I started binge eating again and bulimia returned :( it got bad quickly. At this time, we started fighting about me not having food at home when he came over, or that I didn’t clean the toilet properly and there was some vomit residue…I fell into depression. He was also reproach me about not paying enough when we are out, for being lazy and selfish and taking advantage of him, and for not planning activities to do when we meet. There are a lot of things I did wrong and he was angry at me. I feel useless because I’m not the perfect housekeeper, don’t keep my apartment super tidy, have gained 20kg :( that I’m too lazy to cook all the time … he says these are the reasons he doesn’t want to meet daily…that he doesn’t want to come over unless I cook a dinner , because he is used to warm dinners and he cooks whenever I come to his place. He doesn’t want to move in together, not sure about marriage or kids. I struggle with feeling in a relationship that I don’t like, but at the time I feel guilty because maybe if I functioned better, the relationship would be good…

I’m lost. What do you think? Should I try to be better and give it a chance?