Never developing feelings

asteadyheart · 2016-10-12T18:45:06+00:00

To be honest, I was this way for about 9 years until I met my husband. I would go on dates with men who wanted to marry me, offered to provide, and one even tried to propose when I broke up with him. I dated about 5 times during those 9 years, until I finally gave up and waited from age 24 to 26 to just focus on myself. From about 17 to 26, I found myself unable to form any attachment.

I honestly thought that love and marriage were not going to be an option for me. I just could not form any attachment, even when I desperately wanted to.

But then I met my husband and suddenly, it was three sheets to the wind and I was a goner. I can't really explain it without getting super sappy, but I will tell you that when I was 23 I felt just like you.

KaIia · 2016-10-12T11:46:48+00:00

Maybe a stupid question, but are you on the pill? One of the types i used earlier me very weird, kind of the same way you are feeling. I where in a relationship at that time, and I still likes him, but I kind of felt I different and didn't even notice handsome men at all. Got of the pill and tried a new one, never had the problem since. No I are off the completely though, because they made me weird in other ways...

Kara_El · 2016-10-12T18:59:24+00:00

Going on dates is great, but make sure they don't have any major "un-captain-y" deal breakers before wasting your time. Every man in his 20s seems to have Peter Pan syndrome. It's a generation of Lost Boys and it always drove me crazy to read "I still live at home," when I was dating online. No. I live at home, because that's what home is. You live with your parents. That was just one thing I could NEVER get past in one of the cheapest cities in the country. So I didn't date those guys.

Be reasonable about your deal breakers, which seem to be passive or insecure behavior and try and see if you can pinpoint them before spending a lot of time with them (or meeting at all if you're dating online). You'll have fewer dates, but they'll be of higher quality.

plein_old · 2016-10-12T16:05:27+00:00

Maybe there's something you're looking for that you're not finding, like some quality that is lacking in some of the guys you are meeting.

What about like movie characters, do any of them seem attractive? Like Chris Hemsworth in the recent Huntsman movie - if I was a chick I'd probably like him, because he doesn't take himself too seriously, he does the right thing, he's not a coward, etc. etc.

Maybe make a list of what qualities you want or think you want.

I never get properly 'excited'... or any tingly feelings

That would seem weird, if you were a dude. Like a sign of a health problem. But it might be different for women. I don't think women get instantly turned on in like two seconds, in ADHD fashion, like men sometimes do, but need something more to get excited sometimes, and maybe that's a good thing.

happilymarried30yrs · 2016-10-12T21:29:33+00:00

So you have been implementing monk mode for "a while". Can you be more specific about it? If it's only been a short time, maybe there's still some improvement we can do.

McLuhanSaidItFirst · 2016-10-30T20:51:10+00:00

I suspect it's a numbers game. Put yourself in front of as many men as possible, and see who pops out at you.

Go 'where the boys are'.

Title	Never developing feelings
Author	eikosaedri
Upvotes	3
Comments	10
Date	October 12, 2016 11:41 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/573mat/never_developing_feelings/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/never-developing-feelings.86556 https://theredarchive.com/post/86556

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