Online Dating

Kittenkajira · 2015-08-23T20:00:26+00:00

I met my SO through online dating. I think it's best to leave your profile to what you have to offer a man, rather than stating what you're looking for. You know what you're looking for, and can determine if he matches through chatting and meeting. So if I wanted to attract a marriage partner that I would have kids with, and wanted to be a stay at home wife, I would say something like "I like to take care of the house, bake and cook, and have always dreamed of being a stay-at-home mother". That way it doesn't come off as you demanding what you want, and it may filter out those who don't want marriage or children.

No matter what, you're going to get men messaging you who are absolutely not what you want. If you're on a site that notes your response rate to messages, then just message back with "not interested" or "No thank you". Otherwise just ignore them.

freebumblebee · 2015-08-24T14:06:11+00:00

Agreed with /u/kittenkajira--try to focus on yourself, not on a list of requirements for men. The truth is that the men who need to read that list aren't reading it, and the men who do meet your requirements are going to be annoyed/turned off by you listing them out. In other words, you're going to get less attention from high value men by making those requirements clear. I also definitely would not say "Red Pill Woman" or any variation thereof in your profile at all.

I went on a couple dates through OkCupid years ago, but I ended up deleting my profile both times I attempted to use it because it was too frustrating. If I were to do it again, I'd make a point to remember not to get overwhelmed. One tip I would definitely employ next time is if the guy isn't what you're looking for (looking for a hook up, being rude, you're not attracted to him, literally anything), just delete the message. It is not worth arguing with someone over you actually not being interested in them. I spent way too much mental energy trying to convince men that no really, I'm sorry, but I do not want to go out with them. And by the end, you just end up hating everyone and bitter and preemptively wrinkling.

Camille11325 · 2015-08-23T19:26:38+00:00

I've never used online dating so I can't give specific advice but /u/PhantomDream09 wrote a great guide to online dating here. I also did a general search of the subreddit and there were tons of threads about online dating profiles and strategies so I encourage you to take a look at whats already been written. In the RPW irc room we've also helped girls with their profiles, from editing paragraphs to photo selection so after you've done more research feel free to stop by :)

xrusalkax · 2015-08-25T02:07:28+00:00

Hi! I'm finally breaking my lurker status to reply to this post because I feel like I've had enough experience in this area to comment something of value (hopefully).

Your primary focus should be on your photos because that will be the first thing, and often only thing, that men will really notice.

Do. Not. Be. Slutty.

I have 5 photos up of myself. Three of them depict me wearing no makeup, smiling, out in nature. One of them shows me done up in a dress at a fancy event, I'm still smiling and not overly done-up. The last one is a close up of my face -- again, smiling.

My body-shots are subtle, fully clothed, and not slutty or even suggestive. These shots are important with the prevalence of fat women with pretty faces posting ONLY photos of their face. Many men will not bother messaging women with these types of headshot-only profiles.

I have no selfies. I have no shots of me at the club or bar or getting wasted in a bikini in Cancun surrounded by shirtless guys. I have no group shots, period. Again, many men that I've spoken too find the group shots -- usually of drinking and partying -- to be annoying and distracting. I have no shots of myself making a "silly face" to show my "quirky personality." I have no shots of my cats.

As for your text on the profile -- less is more. Let them get to know you through conversation, not from writing a novel of text. Do NOT list off the things you do not want in a man, this shows entitlement and negativity. Nor write a list of the things you DO want for the exact same reasons.

Do not for the love of god, post an inspirational quote ("Live. Laugh. Love. Learn" or "Life is about the small moment and I try to enjoy each one to the fullest) ESPECIALLY from Marylin Monroe (i.e. "if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best") unless you want to make yourself a stupid-girl target for men looking to score easily because that is exactly how you will be perceived.

Post wholesome photos of yourself looking happy and natural. Avoid photos that are overly filtered. I'm on Tinder and Match and I have had exactly TWO inappropriate messages from the dozens and dozens of men that have contacted me. And neither was particularly horrifying (i.e. I really want to kiss your lips).

Of the first and second dates I've gone on -- they have all been with complete gentlemen and I don't think that's an accident.

Study the profiles of the other women on these dating sites -- they are a wealth of knowledge on what NOT to do and you will be able to clearly see that for yourself.

(Also I met my ex-boyfriend off of Tinder who was a wonderful man, but that's a separate post.)

littleteafox · 2015-08-25T19:44:01+00:00

I'm glad you started this. I've been thinking of starting a profile too. I'm wondering how to hint around the RP stuff without outright saying it, and also without attracting very conservative/religious folk.

liquidmalteaser · 2015-08-26T12:39:23+00:00

I found my last SO through tinder!

I had been on a few tinder dates, but something clicked with him and we only recently broke up. It was a clean break up but without tinder I don't think I would have ever met him, or had changed my life anywhere near as much.

youneedsofteyes · 2015-08-24T05:04:16+00:00

I got a lot of great advice in my thread about online dating, "Advice for a late bloomer"

2015-08-25T07:41:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

littleteafox · 2015-09-01T14:49:21+00:00

Reporting in: I made a profile this weekend. Results were meh. Lots of <4 word messages, many "DTF"'s, despite my clear preferences for a LTR and no hookups. Not super happy with the pictures I threw up though, I'll have to purposely go out and try to get some better ones which totally won't be awkward at all... ;)

Title	Online Dating
Author	annakarenina16
Upvotes	19
Comments	27
Date	August 23, 2015 6:33 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3i3t0q/online_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/online-dating.85542 https://theredarchive.com/post/85542

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