Hi everyone! I wanted to make a bit of a public commitment & share my story of finding RPW.

So first, a bit of my background. I'm in my mid-20's, living in a big city on the East Coast, the absolute archetype of a liberal, politically feminist, career-obsessed yuppie & happy to be so, but also someone who grew up in a very traditional family, who dearly adores her man and wants to figure out how best to make him happy.

I've been dating my darling Captain for a little over a year, living together for about 6 or 7 months (yes, we moved fast ;)). The year before I met him, I was dating a very traditional, upper crust Southern guy (you must know the type) to whom I was frankly, a pretty terrible girlfriend. His flaws made me hypercritical; my bitchiness would bring out the worst in him. I harbored a secret conviction that I was too special for him, and, well, he could tell. Tale as old as time, and all that. Since finding RPW I've actually reflected on that relationship quite a bit, since I enacted literally the exact opposite of every piece of RPW advice. We even got into horrible, screaming, crying fights constantly over my politics, an issue that's never, ever come up before or since. It was like I was living in some nightmare RPW case study diorama without realizing it. Every minute of that relationship made sense as soon as I found RPW...

I'm immeasurably happier now and a much better fit with my man, with whom I look forward to getting married and producing a soccer team's worth of babies. I find him amazing in every possible way.

However to my horror, I find myself repeating some of my mistakes. My previous BF told me once, when I wrote him a romantic letter, that he had never realized I thought anything that nice about him. A few weeks ago, in the throes of an awful argument, my Captain said something similar. Capt and I began our relationship with weirdly mismatched SMV's (I come from $ and have fancy things, he has a checkered past) and sometimes that comes back to haunt us (even though I no longer give a crap).

When I first moved in, my darling BF and I had moved to a new city together, and I hadn't yet found a job. I was, consequently, a great GF; I had loads of time and mental energy to make our new apt a home, I constantly surprised him with sweet little gestures, and I was reveling for the first time in my life in a kind of femininity I had never experienced. I bought throw pillows and honestly, it was like a fucking revelation. I thought, holy crap, so that's what decorating is for! You fall in love and then you want to make a home! And you buy pillows!!

My brilliant BF just got a promotion at work today. I'm so proud of him, and he has some major opportunities coming up to claim responsibility/grow his role. This will mean working a LOT more, being a LOT more tired in the evenings, etc. I have to start being a better girlfriend, so I don't drain his energy, and I don't add to his stress. I also want to make sure I'm empowering him, encouraging him, and making him more confident in his abilities; I've never been great at giving compliments to those closest to me, and this is unacceptable.

I am firmly resolved to create better habits for myself as a girlfriend, to tap back into that place of grace and femininity and pure, admiring love, and to break my old patterns. I love my job but I can't forget my priorities here - we're building a life together.

This community has been so helpful thus far. I just wanted to share my story and write this out somewhere (I have no one else to speak to about this comfortably) so I could really articulate my commitment!