Red Flags/ Green Flags

youllknowwhenitstime · 2024-02-19T05:47:54+00:00

The pinned "Getting Started with WPM" post has a section called "Fast Tracking Your RPW Learning" with links to posts titled Vetting Part 1, 2, and 3. It seems this is what you're looking for.

Aesposa · 2024-02-19T06:40:57+00:00

At first glance, my thoughts are:

He "thinks he's found what he likes to do"... good, but what is he doing about that? Is he practically pursuing work in his chosen trade or a related field, or is he still just ideating? Depending on where your life is at and what you're seeking from a partner, you may need him to be a certain degree of 'established' in his career to be satisfied.

"He tries to be a good guy"... I would want to get an understanding from him of what he thinks being a "good guy" means, and contrast that with your own interpretation. If they're similar, great! If not, red flag. Also, how does he try? What makes it hard for him to achieve this goal?

"He said he's alpha"... I would be really curious to get to the bottom of what he means by "alpha". Particularly because I wouldn't think a guy who is truly a leader would casually define themselves as "alpha", it's a bit cringe in my opinion and reeks of trying too hard. As with the above - compare and contrast your definitions of this term.

Wife_and_Mama · 2024-02-19T15:45:00+00:00

I would suggest you go on this date making a conscious effort not to sort every attribute into red and green territory. For one, yellow flags are far more common this early in the game. Also, you're just getting to know each other. You don't need to show up with a rubric. You make it clear in your other comments that he's actively pursuing welding, was in the service, and even worked briefly as an EMT. He sounds like a good guy. Don't go in expecting red flags. They're usually obvious enough.

free_breakfast_ · 2024-02-19T15:35:34+00:00

This is copy pasted from another recent post on dating and red/green flags - the material is relevant:

This is a post I wrote on vetting with a small snippet on red flags and green flags I quoted below and a small comment I made about energetic and emotional attraction if you're into 'woo woo':

One important key if you’re not a natural at this and have patterns of inviting into your life lousy dates, friendships, partners, etc. is to absolutely examine a red flag when it shows up and to not dismiss it as something cute and funny or rationalize the behavior away as them being stressed or this is just a ‘one time’ thing that happens. Carefully examine the situation and ask yourself a few key questions:

What exactly happened?

Do they have mature coping strategies to deal with this situation or is this a pattern of behavior that they have not properly addressed and mastered?

Is this a situational problem that they can tackle without a problem, or is this something chronic and dysfunctional for them?

Based on the Maps of Men (TL;DR located at the bottom under recap), what type of behavioral characteristic would this point them towards and are you looking to date from this area?

How many of these flags do they have and in perspective of the bigger picture, where are my boundaries of tolerance and acceptance?

There's a lot of material to take in on vetting from RPW, but this skill is super critical and the invested amount of time should be prioritized if you're not meeting high quality men who you would love to have and keep in your life. Remember to set aside some time and mark it on your calendar to read through the three-part vetting series of posts shared by youllknowwhenitstime.

Once you've absorbed all of this, which might take a bit of time, especially considering where you're at in life right now, it's crucial to take the time to seek out new experiences while trying to avoid too many setbacks along the way.

Once you've gathered enough of these safe experiences by going on a lot of dates without over investing by having sex too soon or putting in too much time/emotions into incompatible men; think about the kinds of men you want in your life. And work towards becoming the type of woman these men would want to be with.

Arvak22 · 2024-02-19T21:55:53+00:00

Usually self-proclaimed alphas are the complete opposite so keep an eye out for that.

CaterpillarFun5909 · 2024-02-20T09:28:44+00:00

Alphas know what they want to do and always provide for themselves at the least. Sounds like he’s compensating by saying he’s alpha. Navy guys tend to be softer of the military guys who like to pretend to be marines but far softer . Hope I’m wrong

AutoModerator · 2024-02-19T05:41:35+00:00

Title: Red Flags/ Green Flags

Author GoldenSalt31

Full text: I am going on a date tomorrow.

I met him the other night. He seems nervous, and nice.

I am a little concerned he hasn’t figured out his life yet (he’s probably 33-34?) and I’m 31. He did spend 6 years in the navy and finally thinks he found what he likes to do - welding.

What are some red flags and some green flags to look out for.

He did tell me he tries to be a good guy. He also said he’s alpha in an offhand comment. Are these things bad?

I’ve always just done toxic relationships, and I just don’t want to anymore. Any advice is welcome.

^{This is the original text of the post and this is an automated service}

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2024-02-19T05:41:35+00:00

Thank you for posting to RPW. Here are a couple reminders:

If you are seeking relationship advice. Make sure you are answering the guidelines for asking for advice on the rules page
Do not delete your post once you have your answers. Others may have the same question!
You must participate in your own post. If you put up a post and disapear, it will be removed.
We are not here for non-participants to study us. If you are writing a paper or just curious, read our sidebar and wiki and old posts.
Men are not allowed to ask questions and generally discouraged from participating unless they are older, partnered and have Red Pill experience.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Direct-Ad-5394 · 2024-02-24T22:55:11+00:00

Im reading a book that is based in the green and red flags in the early stages of dating and getting to know someone. Is basically all about the green and red flags, don't let the title fool you. The book is from Bruce Bryans its called "he's not that interested just passing time. Is better that read literature based on the male perspective so you can know how they think about these things. Good luck

Title	Red Flags/ Green Flags
Author	GoldenSalt31
Upvotes	11
Comments	14
Date	February 19, 2024 5:41 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1auft5f/red_flags_green_flags/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/red-flags-green-flags.1245815 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245815

Comments