Should we always be slightly insecure?

StepfordInTexas · 2017-11-15T22:46:07+00:00

In my experience RPW need to be the opposite of insecure at all times. We assert our opinions when asked and then leave it be and be secure in our relationship to let our husband make the final decision. I think being insecure is actually one of the biggest red pill myths from the outside looking in.

But to speak to your middle paragraph. Sister, I have been there. You really need to heal this area to be able to not only be a good wife, but just to be content with yourself. I really recommend you seek out a great counselor. Life is too short to not be able to experience the happiness you deserve.

MetalDevils · 2017-11-15T22:50:02+00:00

Vulnerability is not the same as insecurity. A woman that is emotionally open, kind, considerate, gentle, fun, respectful are all traits that go along with vulnerability and a trusting, feminine nature.

Right now you lock yourself away and maintain emotional distance and display an unwillingness to trust him. This makes him frustrated and less inclined to try and look after or protect you.

You may need therapy, but either way, it's unfair for you to punish him for what you went through. You do that by being distant with him. Unless he is the one that inflicted the painful experience on you, then you need to separate how you treat strangers, and how you treat him.

Ezaar · 2017-11-15T22:54:16+00:00

I personally don’t see how insecurity can benefit any gender in the relationship.

This is where I see communication to be the number one when it comes to any relationship I am involved with.

It’s difficult expressing what you see to be a fault and it’s even difficult working on getting better.

For me, I don’t see a purpose for some one in your life that isn’t willing to be serious about helping you grow. That’s how you adapt and overcome as two persons. Not many people have a disposition for doing this thing solo. Plus you can also get so far doing it “alone”.

Be aware of insecurities. If they’re problems, seek a solution. They’re an indicator of growth opportunities and change.

These little demons will always be at play in the back of your mind, but seize control of your mental faculties to surpass your limits.

BlaueBlumeFreiheit · 2017-11-16T08:47:57+00:00

So doesn't that mean that on some level women must always be slightly insecure? Because to be pliable would mean you're at least a little insecure, right?

There is no reason for insecurity. There is nothing "less" about being a woman, think about all the ways he profits from having you as a wife!

spellcasters22 · 2017-11-17T01:54:27+00:00

pliable would mean you're at least a little insecure, right?

No, being pliable would just mean that you have a growth mindset. It is embracing the fact that no one is perfect.

Every living thing in existence, no matter how they seem, have things to teach the rest of us. For example an executive level business person might be able to learn something like.. idk, the value of spending time with family, from someone whom only makes a modest income, but that only happens if the businessman is open to the idea of growth. Pliability's relationship with the generalized-dominance-hierarchy/self worth is minimal.

Whisper · 2017-11-16T05:51:48+00:00

No one likes to be told they should be less secure.

However, it is important to realize that confidence can be both too low or too high, and either one is bad.

Unconfident men are just gross.
Men with an appropriate level of confidence are better off.
Men who are somewhat overconfident and just a bit cocky are most attractive.
Men who are grossly overconfident are frightening and socially retarded.
Overconfident women are repugnant.
Women with an appropriate level of confidence are better off.
Women who are slightly shy or nervous are more endearing still.
Women who have no positive self-image are infuratingly needy.

Don't be so secure you can't look up to him. Don't be so insecure he needs to keep you from falling apart all the time.

onacasserole · 2017-11-19T05:56:21+00:00

Pliable just means flexible. I think you're confusing confidence with arrogance.

An arrogant woman cannot be pliable, submissive, or easy going. She believes she is always more correct, smarter, better, faster, than anyone. Her way is the right way and her man is a moron.

A confident woman believes he has inherent value in who she is. She knows she deserves to be treated a certain way because of what she brings to the table, but she can still be humble. She can still ask her husband for advice and defer to him on big stuff, but she won't panic if he isn't there every waking moment to tell her exactly what to do and how.

lord-denning · 2017-11-16T00:52:10+00:00

Of course you should strive for security and especially good mental health at all times. That is the priority.

Having said that, a good captain should naturally inspire some small amount of insecurity in you (though insecurity might not be quite the right word here). Whether it is on account of his physicality, social prowess, confidence/assertiveness, or what have you, on the one hand you should feel very very pleased with the man you have chosen, but at the same time this will lead to a little doubt that you want to ensure that you keep such a man, and you should hate this insecurity and seek to remove it while at the same time being impressed that he inspires these feelings in you.

All of this is happening at your end, while we men keep doing our thing oblivious for the most part.

That is the traditional balance of things and if you seek to introduce a small element of this, under a framework of good overall mental health, it could be very good for your relationship.

Title	Should we always be slightly insecure?
Author	applesandlilies
Upvotes	14
Comments	12
Date	November 15, 2017 10:10 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/7d7obm/should_we_always_be_slightly_insecure/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/should-we-always-be-slightly-insecure.73768 https://theredarchive.com/post/73768

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