Starting Over- Learning to Date Again

MentORPHEUS · 2015-05-27T04:48:28+00:00

Your mission of self-discovery and improvement is the best thing you could be doing right now. It will probably take a good year to fully understand and develop your single/unattached identity. Jumping right into the next relationship before working out this process is an easy but potentially costly blunder.

The just divorced/not looking for anything serious quickly niche of the dating market might yield some good matches with men in similar circumstances. There's a sweet spot to aim for between broken/cheap easy lay and bitter/not worth a try in this compartment of the dating marketplace.

From what I hear, the vast majority of men on dating sites escalate to intimate talk way too fast and crude, no matter what your profile says; be prepared.

Finally, don't let being 40, single, with kids diminish your self image or hope for the future. Lots of men would shrink from this, others are willing to embrace it. Go forward cautiously, but go!

sugarcrush · 2015-05-26T23:17:34+00:00

My parents got divorced after 19 years together and they both had success with dating, my Mom's even remarried now. Unfortunately (but also weirdly fortunately at the same time?!) there are a lot of older divorced people, so if you are working on yourself and attractive you shouldn't have a problem. Try online dating (like okcupid, not tinder lol!) or take group classes, my dad is really into ballroom and swing dance and meets a lot of women there.

philovivero · 2015-05-27T13:16:51+00:00

On TheRedPill, there's a mantra that the BP man should lift. This increases his masculinity both physically and mentally.

I think there's a similar mantra that makes sense for women. Work hard at being slim. This will increase your femininity and youth.

If you buy the premise, there are a lot of healthy diets that will help toward this goal. None of them are easy. Just remember that fat (nuts, yogurt, etc) will help reduce your appetite, while sugar, equally fattening, won't quell the hunger.

If you're slim already, you've got a leg up in the game. My ex-wife is now 40 years old and gave birth, but maintains a slim figure. She regularly gets very high-SMV males checking her out. It's your #1 asset. Keep it shiny.

LiaKathryn · 2015-05-27T14:35:13+00:00

I know that RP can make you feel if you are over 30 and have children your smv is 0 and you're going to have to settle for a beta or any man who will tolerate your situation. There are high quality single dads out there who are in similar situations and not looking for a 20 year old because that wouldn't fit well in their own family dynamic. Truthfully, when I think about if a man would turn me down because of my children I have no regrets about not being with him. The most important thing is to be confident, happy and fit. Beautiful, secure women will always have suitors even in their 40's. I would look for a man in his late 40s who is a father himself.

freebumblebee · 2015-05-27T00:37:15+00:00

Online dating is a great strategy, but I'd try the pay services instead--match.com, jdate or christianmingle, etc. From what I can tell, okcupid (and to a greater extent plentyoffish and tinder) are geared younger and less serious. Okcupid might work out for you, but I think you'd have better luck on one of the other services. Also, if you're looking to make friends (with work being solitary), try meetup.com! They have groups for all kinds of things. Try to drag a friend along if you're nervous!

[deleted] · 2015-05-26T23:45:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Starting Over- Learning to Date Again
Author	RanchingMama
Upvotes	13
Comments	15
Date	May 26, 2015 8:51 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/37dhq6/starting_over_learning_to_date_again/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/starting-over-learning-to-date-again.85399 https://theredarchive.com/post/85399

Comments