So bare with me because this is a little lengthy. I am 24 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. We have had a great connection and relationship since meeting. I was reluctant at first because he got out of a six year relationship and hopped in it with me. About six months into the relationship I went to use his phone and realized he had messaged someone who kept stating how handsome he was on so I'll media. I asked him what the deal was and messaged the person he was talking to and both stated it was nothing. I know that they continued their convo via text but it had been deleted. This struck something in me, however he is the sweetest person ever and reassured me it was nothing so we moved past this. About 5 months ago we moved in with each other, all was great, I mean we did become a little complacent but that's to be expected I guess. However I then notice he was messaging his ex despite telling me they no longer spoke. I don't have an issue with this but again- half of the conversation was deleted. This again struck something in me Regretfully, I began some flirtatious activity on social media in retaliation and of course he found out. We then made a deal that we didn't want anyone else and these games needed to end. I owned up to everything I did however he still maintained his innocence. About a month later someone was hitting on him on social media and I asked if he knew the person. He stated he had no idea who they were. However when I went through his phone he had this persons phone number and had them on snap chat and had recently snap chatted them Rather than saying anything I bottled it up. I became very distant and often times pretty cold. I knew that I needed time to process everything and hopefully rebuild. At this point we have not been intimate in over 3 months. Recently went through his phone again and found out he was posting his snap chat/skype/kik user name in search of "fun" on Reddit. Again, I felt that I wasn't innocent either and did not say anything. However I then noticed that often times these post were made while I was sitting in the room Finally about three nights ago I stated that I loved him but this was no longer working and we both clearly have things we need to work on in regards to ourselves. I stated that I was in no rush for him to leave. He could stay in the apartment for as long as he needs. To be honest I thought that I would have felt great, but I instantly fell into a severe depression and have not been able to compose myself since. No one has ever treated me as good as he does, I have never been this comfortable with anyone, nor have I ever lived alone. This scares me to death. I love him so much but I feel like so much damage has been done that we nee some time apart. I was anticipating him to take him time leaving and maybe to put up more of a fight for me. Last night he dropped a bomb and told me he was moving back home with family and would be out in two weeks. I am completely heart broken, scared, and devastated. We both agree that we love each other very much but we both need time I am now at a point where I am questioning my decisions as well as my own sanity. If I was so sure that this needed to be done and then I finally did it and feel this way, was this the right thing to do? Why was I so sure this needed to end and now I am overcome with remorse and regret? Is this a sign that we shouldn't give up?

Ugh any input would be greatly appreciated Thank you for reading my ramble

Sincerely, A heart broken person ☹️