English isn't my first language, so if there's any grammatical mistake pardon me for that.

A year and half ago I met this guy on social media(not some dating site) ... It was covid and lockdown so no school. The guy was from my neighboring country.... At first he was being so friendly and nice... We chatted almost everyday and one day he told me "men and women can't be friends, there's always sexual tension between them" Also he has enough female friends and don't anymore..As a result I agreed and didn't text him but suddenly he accused me why was I not talking to him and subtlety hinted that we are friends... He would every night tell me how lonely he was and was the black sheep of his family, everyone hated him, he was depressed etc We had common views regarding something so I liked him as friend and empathized his misery and talking for a whole year as the country was locked up and we couldn't meet irl... After 3-4 months the guy proposed me drunk lol but as I was 17 and he was 25 and i never had a bf or dating experience anyway I told him everything and he said it was fine for a 17yr old to date a 25 yr old.. And he really loved me and sheit!! Then I eventually fell for his words like he would every midnight tell me how lonely he was and he hugs a pillow and thinks of it as me, he would tell when he would come to my country we would go for movie dates, roam around etc.. I was feeling good about it and he slowly brought up sex talk.. He would say it's a culture in his country to fuck partner as soon as they meet! Ridiculous, ain't it? And that "most girls are so unlucky to get fucked my stranger in their first time... And U r so lucky u will get fucked by ur lover".. Everyday he would send me subtle sexual memes and couple memes obviously to sugar coat things... Many a times told him that I'm not ready for sex yet (I mean I haven't even met u bro how could u expect it anyway) he would tell that we have a promising future, he's gonna shift to my country soon, he even talked about our child lol! This shit continued for many days where he would love bomb me but i didn't know about narcissism and love bombing at that time... And finally he stopped with his pursuing me for sex... He legit with his charming nature made me obsessed over him at a point so i couldn't leave him..even he told me to buy a book for him which was almost out of my budget at that time still I somehow bought it...i caught once commenting thirsty shits on his lesbian so called friends pussy pic while we were in relationship! He told me it wasn't a big deal.. She is just a friend and i know nothing about how relationship and bf gf shit works so i should stop acting like an immature cringe girl! I accepted and continued believing him coz he sent me a huge " Happy birthday " msg where he expressed his love for me!

Anyway the day before meeting he told me his money got lost and he is so devasted but as I suggested him to tell the cops he said he's a tourist so he doesn't want to involve in it.. He told me to just meet him or else he will collapse as he was so sad about everything happened to him at that day! He told me that he was soooo damn tired of his journey so I should meet him at his hotel room... I was emotional at that time told him I could help him with some money but he said just to meet him... So I empathised and went to his room... He started molesting me honestly there's wasn't any consent from my side... When he tried to pull off my pant i squirmed and begged him to not but he told me to be silent or else anyone could listen to us! I was so much in an emotional havoc that I thought of letting him do whatever he want as I still didn't want to lose him! So tried to fuck me... I was scared and virgin and wasn't wet at all as I didn't enjoy shit.. As a result his dick didn't go inside fully! He tried for many times but it was fucking painful as it was dry as hell and I was not comfortable and was scared! Then he found no other option than to look at my pussy and jerk off as if he's watching porn. And he came on face. And told me to leave his room.. I was devasted that how could a guy who claimed to love me so much turn 180 degree around and treat me like a cheap whore...i went home and cried myself to sleep just to find out next day he was calling and msging me to take BC pill(idk if the guy was mentally fucked up as he couldn't fuck me anyway so what's the point of taking pills) so he forced me threatening to come to his hotel room... I was done with him at this point! I went to his room and was angry at him. He gave me pills and tried to calm me... And again his sweet words and hugged me as if he meant real relationship.. He even promised he would visit me in Christmas again! Anyway as I returned home I remembered he told me he got stolen and was going to return in 2 days, he said he just figured out he had some money left so he was going to explore my country... I told him as he promised me earlier that I will go with him too but he denied stating that I was really tired and ahave just taken pills so I should take rest... When I said I was fine he started ignoring me, didn't pick up my calls or see my chats... Even at a time told me" Let me just have fun, stop disturbing" .. I realized at that time he faked every damn thing! Told him I am going to tell cops he raped me(it was rape tho anyway).. He threatened me stating he has proof against me that I agreed to visit him room and we were in relationship so it was sex and not rape and also blamed me that HE WAS SICK AND I FORCED HIM TO COME TO MY COUNTRY FOR SEX(as if there ain't no men in my country, how ridiculous)... He even didn't delete my nudes stating it was his digital right to keep them, threatened me the whole night and said I can't do anything as he has returned to his home country ( but he didn't he was still having fun with his friend in my country) and told me if I text him anymore he would file harassment charges against me! My parents knew nothing about it and I was scared if he could somehow prove that it wasn't rape and I was 18 when this happened (shit happened 4 months ago) and was also really sad, couldn't cope with whatever happened to me. I cried like crazy while talking to him over the phone and he and his friend was laughing at my misery (how psychotic can ppl be?). He blamed me that I manipulated him, gaslight him and bullied him and I kicked him out of my country...and said that I ended this relationship.Then he kept on ignoring me and I also stopped bothering him as it would do no good anyway and finally accepted the reality ... It took me 3 months to finally accept whatever happened to me as I didn't seek any therapy and was on my own, couldn't share this to anyone irl

Worst part it was my so called first love 💔