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Why should I join the Red Pill?

TrebelTrouble98 · 2014-01-30T01:14:51+00:00

So I am a young woman who is still in high school. I have good grades, and I have some great friends (mainly other girls) but no boyfriend right now. I am...

TrebelTrouble98

January 30, 2014

14 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	Why should I join the Red Pill?
Author	TrebelTrouble98
Upvotes	14
Comments	59
Date	January 30, 2014 1:14 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1wilng/why_should_i_join_the_red_pill/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/why-should-i-join-the-red-pill.84209 https://theredarchive.com/post/84209

Comments

[–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 19 points20 points21 points 12 years ago (48 children) | Copy Link

Much of RP is focused on self improvement. In that respect, RP ideology is helpful to everyone. I enjoy this sub because I like to hear other women speaking from a place of making themselves better people and better partners for their SO's. I've found that a lot of feminist groups are heavy on the "self acceptance" and low on the "personal accountability." I wish I had found this sub earlier in life and gotten a dose of harsh truth rather than the sugar coating and nonsense we are fed as women.

I certainly encourage you to look around here and get a feel for it. If you find a couple of things you don't understand everyone here is pretty nice about explaining as long as you are polite and don't try to argue. There may be a few things that sting to hear, but if you try to stay tough and take it in I think you'll find that our ideas are not radical at all.

[–]Samantha_Simpson 16 points16 points16 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 7 points8 points9 points 12 years ago (42 children) | Copy Link

[–]Samantha_Simpson 5 points5 points5 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 8 points9 points10 points 12 years ago (40 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 12 years ago (39 children) | Copy Link

[–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (34 children) | Copy Link

If you have found that feminist circles truly support choice, I first encourage you to look at the money trail. Feminism is a business. Research lobbyists for feminism and see how much they really care about "equality."

We here believe in "choice" as well. We just don't think women should have zero consequences for the choices they make. If a woman wants to shave her head and start a high power career, great for her, but she should be prepared to have difficulty starting a family and we are completely unsympathetic if she later becomes angry with men because no one wants to marry her. We are focused on traditional, male-led relationships here. As far as I'm aware, no one here claims that this is the one and only way humans should behave.

I certainly didn't mean to say that looks are the ONLY thing that matter, but the idea that your man should love you and want to sleep with you, and only you, all of the time, even if you pack on 75 lbs, cut off all your hair and wear a Snuggie around the house at all times is extremely entitled. We try to look nice and behave nicely for our husbands to show that we respect and love them. Certainly not all of us stay at home with our children. In fact, from what I've seen homemakers seem to be a minority here.

Even the non-extremists in feminism are quite soft on personal accountability for women. This isn't a place to go when you don't want to feel bad about yourself for screaming at your husband or for not hitting the gym in six weeks. It's the place to go when you want to stop the habit of screaming at your husband in the first place, and where you can come to learn to actually better yourself rather than get a pat on the head and be told it's alright to let yourself go.

[–][deleted] 12 years ago (33 children) | Copy Link

[–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

We don't feel anything about same sex couples as a group. We focus only on one type of relationship and how to achieve and maintain it. If any same sex couples feel like they can take anything from it, then great. But we have no stance on it.

By "better" ourselves I mean it basically just how it sounds. Being the best version of ourselves we can be. Be kind and gracious but firm and clear with our desires, have healthy and fit bodies, show respect to ourselves and others, be better at seeing our spouse's point of view.

I get what you're trying to say about not placing conditions on your love, and I agree with to an extent. If I got lazy in the relationship and stopped putting pride in my appearance or making an effort to show my appreciation my husband wouldn't just stop loving me. But he would certainly feel less attracted, which would mean we would have less sex, which would make me upset, and be harmful to our relationship. Rather than allow that cycle to start we are constantly vigilant and aware of ourselves and how our actions affect our relationships. When you're in a loving and committed relationship it can be easy to get comfortable to the point that you stop putting in the effort consistently. We strive to foster love, desire, and commitment on a daily basis, regardless of whether or not our husbands would "put up with it" if we didn't.

[–][deleted] 12 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted]7 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]4 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Bakerofpie2 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Why wouldn't we do them for ourselves and not someone else:

I see it as doing these things for both of us. I feel good about myself when I look attractive, and when I carry myself well, and when I cook a good meal and keep our apartment clean. Those are things that I enjoy, but my enjoyment of those things is tripled because it makes my husband happy as well. Our husbands are the most important people in our lives, and we find true happiness in satisfying them. That doesn't mean we look to them as our only source of validation, though. It's hard to love a person who doesn't love themselves.

Should a woman adapt herself to her husband's ideals:

I would say yes and no. It may sound silly to some people, but my tattoos and unnatural hair colors are important to me. It's part of how I express myself and I am actively unhappy if forced to tone it down. I would not have married a man who didn't like them, because 1.) well, he probably wouldn't have been that into me in the first place, and 2.) I would feel at conflict about getting more tattoos or changing my hair color again because I want my partner to feel that their wishes are respected and for them to find me as attractive as possible, but I am NOT willing to compromise on those two things. However, as much as I would love to wear pajama pants all the time and never fix my hair or makeup, those things aren't a fundamental part of who I am. I try to pick clothes that my husband likes and buy dresses in colors he likes even if they aren't my favorite, and I usually do at least minimal makeup when we spend time together. My husband would certainly never demand I get a boob job, but it's something I personally would like to do and he will most likely enjoy that quite a bit when it happens. I wouldn't do anything with my appearance that I found simply loathsome just because my husband likes it that way, but I do keep his preferences in mind.

Is it your fault if your husband cheats:

I'm not exactly sure how to answer that. A good man won't cheat over a minor conflict with an otherwise quality woman. We firmly believe that marriage is for life. Obviously we aren't going to be young hotties for the rest of our lives, but we expect to stay married the rest of our lives. Looking attractive for my husband is an important piece of the puzzle, but it's only one piece. Part of this looking nice is that it's showing respect. Saying "hmm, I sort of prefer the purple dress, but if you think the blue one looks better on me I'll go with that" sends your man a message that you listen to him and care what he thinks. Look up "wife goggles" if you get the inclination. If you are treating your husband well, showing him respect and support, he will continue to see you as a sexy woman rather than an old lady when you become one. To me, keeping up with my appearance and showing respect for our relationship are very strongly linked. It's the simplest little thing I can do to put on a cute skirt because I'm thinking about him. It's like when he does little things for me, like putting my keys back on the wall when I forget and leave them on the counter, or filling my car with gas for me because he noticed it was getting a little bit low when he borrowed it. These very small gestures add up to build intimacy.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

My next question would be, what does it mean to actually "better" yourself?

Bettering yourself means making yourself more valuable to men, or, in your case, your husband. It means taking on the feminine qualities and habits that men traditionally love (which includes dressing in a womanly fashion, cooking, cleaning, etc.) so that you bring something to the relationship. It also means working out and keeping yourself in shape, partially to prolong hitting the Wall and partially to keep your H attracted to you. It means you work on not shit-testing and questioning your H's motives and let him lead as he naturally will instead of trying to micromanage everything.

And how does RPW feel about gendered roles in lesbian or gay relationships?

We generally don't worry about L/G relationships here. We focus on traditional male-female relations. Although L/G relationships do always require someone to take on the gendered roles because without them, it's very difficult to have harmony. We tend not to focus on the "outliers" despite acknowledging that they exist.

[–][deleted] 12 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

[–]Bakerofpie3 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]3 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The Wall is where a woman's beauty begins to fade and age starts to show. Many say 30 is the norm for women to reach the Wall. At this point, you have to work even harder to stay physically attractive where you can manage it (working out, makeup, etc.) and also have to rely on maintaining an attractive personality to keep your SO.

Some women, however, slam into the Wall in an ugly way if they're the one who stayed single or slept with a large number of men, so their ability to keep a man beings to worsen at an even faster rate. At this point, women will typically "settle" for someone they deem lesser value but will also likely end up cheating on that same person. Others will try to squeeze out a few more "single lady" years before either doing the same or becoming a crazy cat lady.

TL;DR just in case: the Wall is the point where your beauty begins to fade; personality becomes MUCH more important at this stage in life in order to keep a man.

[–]PsychoticMouse 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]PsychoticMouse 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]PsychoticMouse 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Samantha, I love you. Thank you so much for bringing this up!

Before I readjusted my attitude, I would hang out in seedy bars alone while my man was at work. My mentality was that, well hell, I had a hard day at work and wanted a beer. What I experienced was less than desirable. I had to watch what I drank and make sure I left early and during a time I was relaxed but completely able to drive.

I regret this decision and I made no 'bad mistakes' except going to the bar alone without, at the very least, a girlfriend. I was also in my completely conservative and informal work attire, but still. The message is clear to men - you're a woman. alone. drinking. It really puts a target on your back.

A 'feminist' by todays standards expects to be thought nothing of and 'treated like one of the guys' at the bar. It is hard to do that if 1. you're female. They are automatically hardwired to view you differently and 2. Dressed provocatively.

My jimmies really get rustled when I see a young lady wearing very short shorts (which she is definitely entitled to wear, whatever), and a low cut top (getting a little excessive here, eh?), and heels/wedges/whatever, who is also (and please excuse my language) dry-humping the air or every man on the dance floor. If you're sexually arousing a man for an hour on the dance floor both visually and physically, you shouldn't be offended when he becomes a bit.... aggressive.

With that, if a woman says "no" and legitimately means it, sex should stop. But with RPM and RPW we all know this is hardly the case. ;)

[–]YouDislikeMyOpinion 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Samantha_Simpson 1 points1 points1 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]YouDislikeMyOpinion 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Samantha_Simpson 10 points10 points10 points 12 years ago

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Samantha_Simpson4 points 12 years ago* [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]morepill2 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Samantha_Simpson2 points 12 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]morepill2 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Samantha_Simpson3 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SoftHarem 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]TrebelTrouble98[S] 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]SoftHarem 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago* (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]TrebelTrouble98[S] 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]SoftHarem 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Dating a bit is fine, but having many sexual partners with no commitment hurts a woman's value in the context of any future relationships. Men have a near universal preference to women with low partner counts when they are considering monogamy. You have to figure out your own sexual goals. If you want to party like a rockstar and sleep around, go for it. You don't need any help from anyone to do that properly. However, there are many negative consequences to this lifestyle which only become readily apparent for most women as they hit their late 20's - early 30's.

If your goal is monogamy with a high value man then you've come to the right place. You ultimately decide if the information has merit or not. We obviously do, but the onus is on you to educate yourself and then ask educated questions. Read the sidebars in this subreddit as well as /r/TheRedPill and if you're still interested, feel free to post your questions.

[–]TrebelTrouble98[S] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]SoftHarem 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Blahblkusoi 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]SoftHarem 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

Actually, no one here "believes" its wrong or right. But we accept the reality that MEN do not like women who sleep with many other men before them. Regardless of if this is a good thing, regardless of religion, most men do not want to marry girls that slept around. There are numerous studies that show this. Even guys in college with 50+ partners will answer on a poll that they would never marry a woman with more than 10 partners before him. We do not care that "thats not fair!" In fact, I personally think it isnt fair. We are simply reacting to reality. So, if you want the BEST chance of attracting a man who will make you happy, you shouldnt sleep around.

Saying "I dont care what society thinks, im going to be free" is totally within your rights. People do it. People even get lucky and find a great man anyway. But your chances are severely diminished because thats how men think and they ultimately have to make the decision to enter a relationship with you. If you reach 30 and have found no man who wants you because you slept around in college, it is not "the patriarchy" because you made the decision to do those things. They are under no obligation to marry you just because youre a special snowflake. We cant fight biology, and biology says that men dont like women who had many partners.

Also I would like to point out that probably no one in this sub was a virgin until marriage. I slept with my boyfriend fairly quickly actually. However, he is worth it, and I knew we were going to have a very long relationship. Within the confines of a long relationship, fuck as much as you want. Men do like fucking. Just NEVER EVER 'give away' sex if you dont think you will be dating this person for a very long time and could potentially marry them.

EDIT: On the other bit, about whether males should remain pure, the answer is we dont care. I dont care what men do. They can fuck as much as they want. We arent here to dictate what the opposite sex does. We are here to talk about what you can do to make sure you dont end up hating your marriage after 10 years like the rest of society does. We want to be happy and sexually active and in love even after having children. That is our goal. Clearly, society has fucked this up because if you look at the vast majority of married couples, they are miserable and argue and never have sex. The newest "cure" for this is never having children, but that isnt working either. There are very few childless couples who still fuck like rabbits and love each other too. They do better than those with children, but its marginal. RPW is the alternative to going down that road, and almost every couple here is still as madly in love as they were when they met because this shit works. If you let men put you on a pedestal and marry a man because hes nice, you will hate him one day. Biology.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Not that there's anything wrong with not having boyfriends or anything either, the guys at my school can be super immature...

Most women tend to go for older men. I'm 19, for instance, but my SO is 26. This often eliminates the immaturity that turns younger women off from dating.

Also, we advocate LTRs, so you can have relationships so long as you don't have a very high partner count (many set the line at double digits) either over the span of your life or, worse, over a short time.

The girl with 5 partners over a span of multiple years (I'm talking at least 3 for that count and assuming they were all LTRs) is not nearly as bad as the girl with 5 partners over a span of 1 or 2 years.

The point is not to get into a relationship for the sake of a relationship but rather because you actually care about your SO/potential SO. Committing is very different than casual dating, which many people do to look at different people and say "Hey, this one seems best for me."

[–]noblepaladin 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

We are not here to judge whether people are good or bad. And even if I do judge, you shouldn't care what some random stranger on the internet thinks about you. What matters is how the people in your life treat you. And your behavior and choices will have significant effect on that.

Let's back off from the topics of sex and gender for a moment. For some reason people always fail to be logical on that subject. Let's take a look at jobs for example. It's been shown experimentally that people who look better tend to get hired, even if they are less qualified (researchers tried using the same person with different resumes and different looks). That is why you should dress nicely and professionally rather than show up in jeans and flip flops. It doesn't mean that the person is good or bad, in fact in the research it is actually the same person with the same personality, but in different clothes. But one gets a positive result and the other gets a negative result. There are some other things that matter too. Say you switched jobs every 3 months for the last 2 years. That doesn't affect how smart you are or how qualified you are (i.e. there is nothing wrong with you), but your next employer might not hire you because he thinks you are a person who cannot commit to a job. His perception of your history has real consequences to your life.

I recently had laser eye surgery to get rid of my glasses. 99% of the surgery is actually done by a machine. But do you know which doctor I went to? One who came from a prestigious medical school, who had decades of experience, and had published a lot of the original research in laser corrective surgery. And I paid a hefty premium to get that doctor too. In reality, a much less experience doctor can buy that machine, press the button and the computer would have done the exact same procedure. But who is the one who is running a large practice and banking millions? If you want to work at a top law firm, hedge fund, or investment bank a degree from an elite institution (i.e. Harvard, Princeton, Yale, MIT, etc) is virtually required. But it's not like these schools teach you things that are not taught at other good schools. Stuff like math is the same no matter where it is taught, it's not like the laws of physics change at different schools. But image is part of the product that these institutions sell. It's hard to get clients at a law firm or investment bank because clients rather have the Harvard grad managing their billions of dollars rather than someone from a state college. Is one person really better than the other? They might be identical in terms of intelligence and ability, but one will get the positive result, and the other will get the negative. Over the long run, this difference can be enormous, with one person being in the top 1% and the other simply being average, even though they both might be equally intelligent and equally 'good' people. If you have one great job, that is on your resume and can be used as a stepping stone to an even better one, while the equally intelligent person who could not land that first great job might be stuck at average jobs forever.

You are young, so you might not have enough experience to realize it yet, but your life is significantly affected by many of these very tiny, seemingly insignificant or irrelevant variables. Advantages compound to bigger advantages, and disadvantages compound to bigger disadvantages. The examples above should not surprise you because they are easily observable and not really even that controversial at all. People just accept that is how life is. But getting back to sex and gender, why should we believe that other aspects of life are any different? People are very selective on arbitrary, seemingly meaningless qualities (i.e. the guy wore a tie to the interview, even though he will never wear a tie on the job) in hiring employees, why wouldn't they be in choosing friends or romantic partners?

You might think we are crazy people when we say stuff like "don't shave your head", "don't get tattoos", or "don't have too many sexual partners". We know that those acts alone do not affect your intelligence or make you a bad person or anything. But we also know that those are one of the seemingly insignificant variables (you might think that hair shouldn't matter at all) that will result in you getting a negative outcome and someone else who is very similar to you, but choosing a different action, will get the positive one. And that just snowballs into bigger and bigger effects as time passes (similar to how a great job is a stepping stone to a better one). These things should be very obvious to people, but for whatever reason, they often choose the thing that would result in the negative outcome and then whine about it when it happens.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]sugarcrushEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GayLubeOilTRP Senior Endorsed 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Inexplicably_Hostile 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Inexplicably_Hostile 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

First of all, yes women want to get married. But not to every guy. Just like as a guy there are women that are valued only as plates; with women, some men are valued only as friends. The world doesn't consist entirely of men that are marriage material. In fact, I'd say high quality women aren't going to settle for 95-99% of guys out there. There are plenty of things women can want from the other fraction and using the red pill makes all that much easier. You ever had 5 guys offer to help you move into a new town? Well you could, if you just knew how.

Secondly I don't think you understand what manipulation is. Everyone manipulates everyone. "The means and the result are what matter. If you sit someone down for a "Serious Talk" that's an intention to manipulate. It's not a dirty word or an evil concept." Manipulation is simply the act of planning an interaction with the intention of achieving a desired reaction. Being pretty isn't going to turn lust into love; you have to have an attractive personality. Achieving that personality is an act of manipulation. It's not all baking cakes and wearing heels. Knowing what to say and how to move are pretty important when emotionally hooking a guy.

There are also larger, overarching strategies for finding the right guy. Knowing when you're wasting your time, knowing when you're being played, and knowing when a guys is faking status indicators is incredibly useful when you're assessing a situation. Basically there are entire areas that are being ignored here that could really help improve some game. Of course a lot of these things don't apply if you're already married. I sometimes get the impression that this subreddit is mostly married women but it's not explicitly stated. This place could really use some advice for the single ladies out there. If there are any.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

True enough.

However, where should we get this knowledge? :( I would love to 'have game' but that would require experience. Putting myself out there in the bar or something. The very nature of this sub implies that most of us should have only had less than 5 relationships before we get married anyway. The older women on this sub are no more knowledgeable about how to play the game than the younger ones. A fair number of women here are with their first ever partner.

From reading around, a lot of people here seem to have been mysteriously "picked up" by RP men OR were already married before they discovered this stuff and as such are only applying it to their current marriage. I dont even know how I got in the situation im in now. All I know is that my boyfriend is great, he somehow found me and drew me in, and iv been trying ever since to make this a more wonderful relationship that lasts a very very long time. I think a lot of us just got lucky.. I wouldnt even know if a guy I just met was faking it.. thats part of why I guess I dont sleep with people early regardless..

If you would like to create a thread and ask about this kind of thing or share what you know, then please, im sure it would be well received.

[–]BruceIsTheBatman 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]TrebelTrouble98[S] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

TRP isn't really an ideology, as others have already explained.

I always encourage people to try new things so long as they understand any consequences that come from those decisions (of course, there are little to no bad consequences for trying out TRP). You're also a young girl, which makes it even better for you to start now.

I was lucky to be introduced to TRP's ideas by my SO despite only being 19. This gives me ample time to really do well for my relationship and try to keep things from going south instead of how some end up realizing the reality of things after it's too late.

Most importantly, by adopting these ideas earlier, you won't have as many issues with the Wall (though still plenty) compared to the ladies who decide to stay single/have sex with many different men and refuse to settle down.

You still have time to ask yourself what you want to do. You haven't been "thrown out into the real world" like some of us. But I definitely advocate trying out TRP and seeing what you think about it--from an objective POV. You will almost certainly realize how accurate it is.

[–]Kolperz -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link